Monday 30 January 2023

False assumptions

I suppose we all make grand assumptions about other people based on the little we know of them - how they behave, how they look, how they speak. Such assumptions are probably wrong as often as they're right. Certainly people have made some very odd assumptions about me. For example:

  • Because I'm still thin, then I must work out at the gym (I've never been in a gym)
  • Because I'm a well-spoken white male, then I must have been head of some prestigious organisation (I was mostly a bookseller)
  • Because I go for walks in a tatty jacket and ancient jeans, and we have a nine year old Renault Clio, then I must be poor (which I'm not)
  • Because I live in a very large house, then I must be wealthy (which I'm not)
  • Because I'm fairly fit and healthy, and free of addictions and psychological disorders, then I'm smug and self-righteous (which I'm not)
  • Because only 9.3 per cent of Northern Irish folk are atheist, then I'm religious (which I'm not)
Of course I make umpteen assumptions about other people, and probably most of them are wrong. I make assumptions about how intelligent someone is or their political beliefs or what food they eat or how well-organised they are.

I assume that someone has seldom left their neighbourhood, only to find they've travelled all over the world. I assume that someone rarely reads a book, only to find they've read all the classics I've never read.

Well, there's no harm in making false assumptions, I suppose, as long as I'm prepared to correct those assumptions if they prove to be nonsense.

As for those assumptions that I'm simultaneously a hopeless romantic and a hardened cynic, that wouldn't be far from the truth.

16 comments:

  1. It would be interesting to know what false assumptions others really do make about us. I can't think of anything anyone has mentioned about me.

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    1. Bijoux: I'm sure there are plenty more false assumptions about me.

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  2. Because I wear t-shirts and hoodies people assume...what? I really don't know. I suspect their assumptions would be different if I was 25 instead of 75 years old.
    Linda

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    1. Linda: There are any number of wild assumptions about young people. And old people for that matter.

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    1. John: They do indeed. We like to think we know more about someone than we actually do.

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  4. When we lived in France we were renovating the house and I lived in old casual clothes. We wanted to take out contents insurance and a rep rather reluctantly agreed to come out to see what was what. Well, he saw what was what and over a coffee admitted that he had thought we would have nothing, given the way we dressed.

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    1. Fly: I'm sure some people assume the same about me when I'm wearing something a bit shabby.

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  5. I never make assumptions as people continue to surprise me. For instance a mousy little woman I met at a party who kept her light under a bushel until in a long conversation with her I found she was one of the first female pilots in Canada and continued to fly at the age of 70.
    XO
    WWW

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    1. www: Indeed, that's a good example of totally misjudging someone!

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  6. That's a lot of assumptions. I try not to make assumptions. I speak very well and people sometimes think I'm posh - which I am of course but not just because of how I speak!! ha, ha

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    1. Polly: People sometimes think I'm posh too. Lower middle class is more like it.

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  7. Nick, you are right about assumptions based on the manner of dress, housing, vehicles. We dress very casually most of the time (jeans, sweatshirts) but never ones that are tattered or stained, just comfy and older duds. I drive a 2007 vehicle, a Jeep SUV, which just passed inspection with no issues. We now live in a rental apt and are no longer homeowners as in the past. People may (falsely) assume we are not financially sound, which we are, but we do not plain to boast and burst their illusion.

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    1. Beatrice: Same here, some people assume we're scraping by, when the opposite is the case. We just don't believe in throwing money around to impress other people.

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  8. I think we all make some assumptions about people when we first meet them or just see them.

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    1. Mary: We do, we like to "flesh them out" with a few imaginative leaps.

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