Body shaming

There seems to be no end to the epidemic of body-shaming and anti-fat abuse. People feel entitled to criticise other people’s physical appearance as much as they like.

Men are less likely to be criticised than women, even men with huge beer bellies, which are very common in Northern Ireland.
 
But women are castigated for any number of supposed physical faults – being fat, being too thin, being ugly, being badly dressed, being dowdy, you name it.
 
Luckily I’ve never been criticised for being fat, as I’ve always been thin and if anything I’m underweight. Being constantly reprimanded for being fat must be infuriating.
 
There’s a general assumption that a woman is fat because she eats too much, though of course that’s not necessarily the case. But the critics don’t care about the actual causes, they just want to be viciously judgmental.
 
There’s also an assumption that a fat woman is less intelligent than a thin woman, which is equally absurd.
 
I admire those women who don’t care over-much how they’re seen by others and just carry on regardless. It takes a lot of determination and self-confidence when other people (mainly men but not always) are happily picking holes in you.

Can't cope

It’s a platitude that after losing a partner women are more practical than men and usually cope quite well with being on their own, while many men can’t cope at all and are totally thrown.
 
Many men are so used to living with a woman who organises the house, does all the cooking and domestic tasks, and maintains friendships, that without her they are all at sea.
 
They fall into complete squalor, let the house fall into disrepair, don’t do enough washing and cleaning, and are generally unable to cope. Some men sink into such despair they end up committing suicide.
 
Apparently many older men who use dating sites aren’t looking for love but are really looking for a housekeeper, someone to organise their life for them.
 
I guess the underlying reason for this difference between men and women is the way boys and girls are brought up. Girls are encouraged to learn domestic and socialising skills while boys are taught that they needn’t bother.
 
I wonder how I would cope if Jenny died. Would I be one of those men who sink into squalor, or would I get along just fine? Hopefully the latter.

Always a rebel

I’m very much the odd one out in our family. The others are pretty conventional while I’m the fiery radical.
 
My parents were conservative as are my sister and brother in law. How I came to be the exception is interesting.
 
When I was at boarding school one of the boys lent me the Communist Manifesto. I read it and thought, this makes a lot of sense, why are some people horrified by it? After I left school London was in the grip of hippyism and everyone was questioning everything left, right and centre. So naturally I started questioning everything I had been brought up to believe.
 
I questioned a lot of the things my father believed, which he hated. He actually stopped speaking to me.
 
Later on I spent several years in a left-wing bookshop in London (now closed unfortunately) and picked up more progressive ideas.
 
It’s commonplace for people to become more conservative as they grow older, but I’ve done the opposite and grown more radical. I suppose I’m acutely aware of all the misery and horror in the world and I just want everyone to have a decent life. Is that too much to ask?

High rise

High-rise tower blocks are seen as quite normal, however high and however they dominate their immediate surroundings. Nobody thinks twice about all the skyscrapers in New York or London.
 
But should they be seen as normal or as something a bit unnatural, something that should be challenged rather than accepted?
 
Mick Jagger and a bunch of other celebs have won their battle to prevent a 29-storey high-rise near Battersea Bridge in London. After fighting the proposal for two years, it has been rejected by a government planning inspector.
 
The inspector ruled that the tower block would be detrimental to the appearance of the area, being taller and bulkier than other existing buildings.
 
I’ve always taken tower blocks for granted myself, but on reflection there are several things wrong with them. They block views from nearby buildings, children have no yard or garden to play in, they need lifts which often break down, and they need elaborate fire control measures to prevent another towering inferno like Grenfell Tower, London, in 2017.
 
Of course the main reason why developers build tower blocks is because they’re highly profitable. They’re not scenic, they’re not interesting architecture, if truth be told they’re actually rather ugly.

PS: I've said before that I wouldn't live anywhere higher than a third floor. Any higher than that and I'd always be worried about a possible disaster and not being able to get out of the building.

Bled dry

It’s common knowledge that health care in the States can be so ruinously expensive that people regularly go bankrupt trying to pay the bills.
 
It’s not so well-known that care homes in Britain are also ruinously expensive and people unlucky enough to need one can also end up bankrupt from the scale of the charges.
 
My mum was in a care home for nine months in 2018 and was paying around £3000 a month. I gather the charge nowadays could be around £1300 a week or £1500 if nursing care is included.
 
That staggering figure soon mounts up. For nine months now she could have been paying over £50,000 ($68,000). How many people have that kind of money to spare? Her local authority could have offered her some financial help but it would be far below what she needed.
 
I look enviously at Sweden, where social care for oldies is provided automatically and comprehensively by the state. Why can’t social care in Britain be provided on the same basis? Obviously it should be part of the national health service.
 
Meanwhile if granny needs long-term care, it could bleed you dry.

Getting old

According to a survey of 2000 people, some youngsters think old age begins at 53. Seriously? How do they work that out? Annoyingly, there is no explanation of this odd figure.
 
I would say old age begins around 75. That was then I started to get various aches and pains I hadn’t had before and when my physical energy started to decline. Before that I didn’t feel any older than someone of 40.
 
Oldies who were also included in the survey thought like me that old age begins at 75. That’s more like it.
 
But 53? How come? Maybe they’re not saying that 53 year olds are actually old and decrepit but just that they’re showing the early signs of old age. They’re set in their ways or slowing down a bit or can’t hear properly.
 
At 53 I was not only fit and healthy but I had just moved from London to Belfast. Very adventurous for someone who was supposedly entering old age.

These odd-thinking youngsters need to talk to a few more oldies to get better informed about ageing.

The roots of hatred

Hearing all the news reports about the wave of anti-semitic attacks in Britain, I can’t help wondering what it is that causes people to hate other people, and hate them so viciously and relentlessly.
 
Is it how they were brought up? Are they copying their friends’ attitudes? Are they influenced by social media posts? Do they somehow blame Jews for their difficult lives?
 
And they think the best way of expressing their hatred is to burn down a synagogue or stab a few Jews. What do they think that’s achieving? All they’re doing is spreading fear and alarm and despair.
 
Such all-consuming hatred has to be fuelled by a view of other people as objects rather than human beings. If you see other people as human then you’re not able to inflict casual violence on them.
 
And then again there’s an intolerance of difference. They find difference threatening rather than intriguing. Instead of asking what Jewishness and Judaism is all about and enjoying adding to their knowledge, they see only something peculiar and unfamiliar that needs to be got rid of.
 
Meanwhile Jews are fearful of further horrific attacks on their community.