It's so tempting to be scathing about the whole lot of them. Don't believe anyone's promises, don't be taken in by charming smiles, don't be fooled by glossy advertising, don't be impressed by fancy jargon and slick patter. Don't trust anyone and presume everyone has a hidden agenda they're carefully concealing.
Politicians? They're all feathering their own nests. Bosses? They'll demand hard graft and pay peanuts. Tradespeople? They'll charge exorbitant fees for botched and sub-standard work. So-called friends? They'll turn out to be clingy and super-needy and offer nothing in return.
After being disillusioned once too often, it's easy to become airily dismissive of just about everyone and conveniently forget the many positive experiences I've had. It's easy to become a leery know-it-all who never has a good word for anyone.
I have to keep reminding myself that along with arseholes like Donald Trump and Boris Johnson, there are people with integrity like Jacinda Ardern and Katrin Jakobsdóttir*. Along with the ruthless bosses there are the generous, considerate ones. Along with the burdensome friends there are those I love to have around.
Cynicism is a poison that would rapidly rot my soul if I allowed it to. All too quickly I'd turn into one of those curmudgeonly old codgers who regards the whole world as a conspiracy against his very existence. Even next door's cat is a surly and incontinent beast that wrecks his garden when he's not looking.
Think again. For every scheming bastard there's someone with a heart of gold. You just have to look in the right place.
*Prime Minister of Iceland
It seems as though the media promotes cynicism, as we hear about the bad ten times more often than the good. Right now, the big story is about the college admissions scandal. Think about how many thousands of students actually work hard to get into schools. The scammers are a tiny, tiny drop in the bucket.
ReplyDeleteAndy and I decided long ago that we wouldn't turn into curmudgeons and we're both committed to that. Yes, life isn't perfect, and laughing helps a lot.
ReplyDeleteI agree laugh a lot...... Julie Andrews did it a great deal in THE SOUND OF MUSIC
ReplyDeleteBijoux: True, the media always tend to concentrate on the horror stories rather than the humdrum things that go just as they should. The big story here is the number of students who cheat and use essay factories. But maybe that's also a tiny drop in the bucket.
ReplyDeleteJean: Resolving not to become a curmudgeon, and monitoring your behaviour accordingly, is essential.
ReplyDeleteJohn: Indeed, laughing at other people's inanities helps to put them in perspective. But do you know, I've never seen The Sound of Music?
One of the things I like about the simplicity/minimalist movement is that everyone is so supportive of one another. That's true for me in the RVing community as well. I'm glad to have both of these in my life.
ReplyDeleteOnce a scheming bastard, always a scheming bastard. Discard them early and think no more.
ReplyDeleteThere's an inner grumpy geezer in all of us. She needs to be squashed. I have to work on tolerance of others as they sure are tolerant of me in all my rainbow colours and dark and dismal days.
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WWW
I ditto Monk and John and Linda. that's a cop out of a comment. but they said it better than I could with a lot less words!
ReplyDeleteand besides. being a curmudgeon is rather tiresome I would think. xo snoopy hug nick!
I agree, very important to consider individuals and not categorically condemn a person from negative or even positive experiences with others in their group whatever it might be.
ReplyDeleteMeant to add, I think that all to often people pay more attention to the negative “news” than the positive, so the media gives them what they want. I recall at the commercial TV station in mid-America and our sister stations in other states began changing programming of local news as others did all over the country in the sixties.. Ratings were the name of the game for garnering viewers and, in turn, advertisers who paid the bills to keep stations on the air. What ratings showed was featuring freeway auto crashes, for example, garnered many more eyeballs. Many of us and some viewers railed about this news quality corruption to no avail. Unfortunately the majority of increased viewers called the shots. It continues today, just as politicians find negative ads against their opponents are more effective. Just as Pogo said, words to the effect, the enemy is us.
ReplyDeleteLinda: Jenny and I are very much minimalists, though not as members of any particular community. My blogmate Tammy (see above) is a very committed minimalist.
ReplyDeleteJoanne: Indeed. Scheming bastards seldom become anything else but scheming bastards. They're best given a very wide berth.
www: True, if other people are very tolerant of us and our quirky ways, it's only fair to be tolerant in return.
ReplyDeleteTammy: Yes, it must be hard work keeping up a curmudgeonly attitude all day every day! Much easier to just take things as they come....
Ha Ha!!! This comes on a morning when I've discovered a family member has been scheming in the wings. Well, an in-law. More of an outlaw. Sigh. But, yes, normally I like to see the best in people.
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Joared: Exactly. Look at the individual and try to put all those sweeping generalisations out of our heads.
ReplyDeleteYou're right about the media focusing on negative news, horrific accidents etc. But then again, I'm as keen as anybody to read all the details of, say, a terrible plane crash and what caused it. I'm not interested in all the thousands of flights that go smoothly. Actually I'm more annoyed by the endless celebrity gossip that's thrust at me.
Ms Scarlet: Oh, is that to do with your mum's death? Luckily there were no big family rifts after my own mum's death. But it's hard to see the best in people sometimes!
ReplyDeleteNo, it's to do with Mr Blue's family. Lots of death going on over here!
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....bit like buses at the moment.
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Ms Scarlet: Ah, the seldom-glimpsed Mr Blue! I hope there are no more deaths waiting in the wings....
ReplyDeleteSadly, there are.
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I am a bit older than you Nick. Do you think that I have become a cynical curmudgeon? I don't think that you have though you have some distance to go before you can call yourself really old!
ReplyDeleteI don't think that I have it in me to become one. Nor you.
I dunno, Nick. I tend to like a bit of cynical, dark curmugeonliness. Not a whole lot, mind.
ReplyDeleteI'm a bit suspicious of anyone who is relentlessly sunny (except Ramana who is sunny but not relentlessly so)
And there's nothing so satisfying as a little bit of dark and bitter humour. it's kinda like that 85% cocoa chocolate
Ramana: No, you're definitely not a cynical curmudgeon and I would say unlikely to be one in the future. Re being old, 72 seems old to me, but maybe when I'm 82 I'll look back to my youthful, energetic seventies....
ReplyDeleteKylie: I suppose the odd bit of cynicism is excusable. Sort of grist to the mill. And yes, the relentlessly sunny types are a bit suspect. 85 per cent cocoa is pretty good going.
I've been known as a cynic my entire life. I guess it's been easier for me to be that way rather than embrace hope and goodness and optimism only to watch it be dashed when yet another politician is corrupt, killings and violence erupt, or I experience betrayal and selfishness within a relationship. Yep - that's the cynic in me. Easier to stand alone where I trust the small sphere I've made for myself. And working as a lawyer, where I basically got paid to think the worst of people probably didn't help.
ReplyDeleteIs it lack of trust in others that makes me so cynical, or is it lack of trust in me to know what is worthy of trust? There is good, but can I trust it to be so? It's easier to be cynical.
Marie: I can see why you feel so cynical about so many things. It's easy to feel that way when life is so full of disappointments. It's hard to keep putting your trust in others when they so often let you down with a thump. I guess I just have a reservoir of optimism which makes me determined to give people a chance, however often I've been screwed.
ReplyDeleteBelated response -- I, too, have abhorred for years all the entertainment stories passed off as news -- everybody is a celebrity and it's all quite nauseating after a while how it's infused our so-called news programs -- but -- again, that's what gets the viewers in this celebrity-obsessed society today.
ReplyDeleteJoared: I don't know why people are so obsessed with celebrities - even the ones who have no talent and are only famous because of relentless self-promotion. But as you say, anything celebrity-based pulls in the TV viewers.
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