Asking for it

The legendary Scarlet Blue has challenged me to answer some unusual questions that will bare my soul like never before. After checking with my lawyer, my agent, my therapist, my life advisor, my ghost writer and my make-up artist, I've decided I can safely respond. So here goes:

1: Do you prefer asking questions or answering them?
I like both. I want to get under people's skin and I want them to get under mine.
2: What is your favourite joke (or favourite one-liner)?
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.
3: Have you ever fantasised about being on Big Brother?
Being on Big Brother would be my worst nightmare - a complete dearth of witty, sparkling repartee.
4: Have you ever wanted to enter a talent show?
I have no interesting talents. And I hate any kind of competitive environment.
5: Is Simon Cowell really necessary?
Most celebs are as necessary as an ingrowing toenail. A select few are life-enriching. They don't include Simon Cowell.
6: Tea or coffee?
Either. Two good friends with different personalities. Both of them are excellent company.
7: What is your favourite perfume? Or smell?
The sweet smell of success. And anything by Jo Malone.
8: What is the quickest route to Wales from where you live?
As the crow flies and the wind blows. As a mere human, I would have to take the plane.
9: What does the word 'Wales' conjure to your mind?
Leeks, a funny language, eistedfodds and politicians with a bit of common sense.
10: Are you dreading dreaming up ten questions to ask six bloggers?
Of course not. Unflappable, me. Cool as a cucumber. Steady as a rock. Mad as a hatter.

Ten new questions for other people, eh? Is five enough, miss? Give us a break, miss.

1: Do you believe in life after death?
2: Do you believe in fate?
3: Do you ever have dejà vu?
4: Have you ever read someone's mind?
5: Have you ever had a premonition?

I'm not sure which of my blogmates would fancy answering - and posing more questions. But Kylie might like to. Or Baino. Or e. Or Grannymar.

Nick in a nutshell

I'm not very keen on memes, but I rather like this one that's going the rounds at the moment. So here goes:

I am: a non-conformist, job-free, romantic, vegetarian, androgynous socialist.

I want: only a comfortable and mentally stimulating life. I've no desire for wealth or luxury.

I have: my own house, a soulmate, a few friends, no enemies, good health, a lively mind.

I wish: there could be more peace and harmony in the world instead of violence and conflict.

I fear: a poverty-stricken, lonely, painful or senile old age. And hate-filled bigots.

I search: for greater understanding of myself and other people, and more emotional sensitivity.

I wonder: at the miracle of existence, of planet earth and all that lives on it, of human imagination and inventiveness.

I regret: virtually nothing. I have had a good life in which things have usually turned out for the best.

I love: Jenny, good food, art, books, music, beautiful scenery, human warmth and tenderness.

I always: admire honest, principled people who stick up for what they believe in, come what may.

I usually: feel optimistic about the future and what it will bring; and see the best in people.

I am not: an angry, jealous, hateful, begrudging, regretful or obsessive person.

I dance: if I get the chance. There's something very liberating and cathartic about it.

I sing: along to CDs, much to Jenny's annoyance.

I never: go to church, wear dresses, go skiing, go to the opera, drink red wine, eat meat, watch football.

I rarely: think of myself as old, buy clothes, go to the doctor, feel bored.

I cry: very seldom. A frustrating result of male conditioning. I wish I could cry more easily.

I know:* a lot about obsessive compulsive disorder, transsexuality, motor neurone disease, Buddhism.

I need: intellectual stimulation, love and affection, self-confidence, to see the funny side of life.

I should: be more adventurous, more persistent, more caring, more industrious.

Amazing how much you can reveal in a few sentences....

* I've invented a new one!

Thanks to: Hullaballoo, Suburbia, and Fat Frumpy and Fifty