Asking for it

The legendary Scarlet Blue has challenged me to answer some unusual questions that will bare my soul like never before. After checking with my lawyer, my agent, my therapist, my life advisor, my ghost writer and my make-up artist, I've decided I can safely respond. So here goes:

1: Do you prefer asking questions or answering them?
I like both. I want to get under people's skin and I want them to get under mine.
2: What is your favourite joke (or favourite one-liner)?
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.
3: Have you ever fantasised about being on Big Brother?
Being on Big Brother would be my worst nightmare - a complete dearth of witty, sparkling repartee.
4: Have you ever wanted to enter a talent show?
I have no interesting talents. And I hate any kind of competitive environment.
5: Is Simon Cowell really necessary?
Most celebs are as necessary as an ingrowing toenail. A select few are life-enriching. They don't include Simon Cowell.
6: Tea or coffee?
Either. Two good friends with different personalities. Both of them are excellent company.
7: What is your favourite perfume? Or smell?
The sweet smell of success. And anything by Jo Malone.
8: What is the quickest route to Wales from where you live?
As the crow flies and the wind blows. As a mere human, I would have to take the plane.
9: What does the word 'Wales' conjure to your mind?
Leeks, a funny language, eistedfodds and politicians with a bit of common sense.
10: Are you dreading dreaming up ten questions to ask six bloggers?
Of course not. Unflappable, me. Cool as a cucumber. Steady as a rock. Mad as a hatter.

Ten new questions for other people, eh? Is five enough, miss? Give us a break, miss.

1: Do you believe in life after death?
2: Do you believe in fate?
3: Do you ever have dejà vu?
4: Have you ever read someone's mind?
5: Have you ever had a premonition?

I'm not sure which of my blogmates would fancy answering - and posing more questions. But Kylie might like to. Or Baino. Or e. Or Grannymar.

Candid camera

I really don't understand the widespread fuss about CCTV cameras. The claim that they are invading our privacy and creating a Big Brother society seems to me rather hysterical and over-the-top.

So what if a camera at the top of a building somewhere can see me blowing my nose or watching an attractive woman or wrestling with an over-stuffed sandwich? Where's the threat?

Critics say the ubiquitous CCTV cameras (the UK has one of the highest concentrations in the world) are intimidating us and putting us all under suspicion. They are the sign of an authoritarian society that wants to monitor its citizens' every movement.

I think that's farfetched nonsense. I don't feel in the least intimidated by the odd camera. No one's going to see anything particularly revealing or illicit, unless I'm fixing a drugs deal or handing over a bribe. And who in their right mind would do that in full public view anyway?

We don't mind hundreds of other passers-by watching our movements so why are we so worried about cameras seeing exactly the same thing?

They're only in public places after all, where we're expected to behave ourselves. It's not as if they're in our living rooms or bedrooms recording our private vices and eccentricities.

What's more, CCTV has caught quite a number of genuine criminals red-handed and led to convictions that wouldn't have happened without them. And that includes rapists* and muggers who seriously jeopardise street safety. If we can catch a few more of them, CCTV's just fine by me.

* An estimated 47,000 women are raped every year in Britain.
.................................................................................

Oh dear! The ever-popular Grandad, usually brilliantly funny, has done a spectacularly unfunny post condemning political correctness. He says we should be free to call people anything we like, no matter how offensive, and stop being so over-sensitive. Micks, Paddies, golliwogs, what does it matter? Sorry, grandad, I couldn't agree less. The point of so-called political correctness is simply to have respect for other people. Of course it can be overdone but so can anything. And most of the extremist scare stories are tabloid inventions in any case. Is it so hard to call black people blacks and not niggers?

NB: In the interests of fairness, please also read Grandad's reply in Comments.