Hair talk

Hair. Something that spawns a hundred opinions. Compli-mentary, censorious, shocked, delighted. People are seldom emotionally neutral about a hairstyle, either their own or someone else's.

So let me share some of my own opinions about hair:

• I've only had three hairstyles in 72 years. As a kid I had a parting, as a twenty something I had a long hair and a beard, and now the parting (and the beard) is long gone.
• A lot of people with curly hair would prefer straight hair (my own is straight), but I love curly hair. Especially wild Jewish and Afro hair. I'm baffled by the prejudice against natural Afro hair.
• I'm also baffled by the prejudice against ginger hair. I love it.
• I love dreadlocks and corn rows.
• I like dyed hair, but I also like natural grey hair.
• I love short haired women. And short hair is so much easier to look after.
• Some people have hairstyles that totally don't suit them. But you can't say so.
• Hair that droops over someone's eyes is rather ridiculous.
• I'd hate to be bald. But I don't fancy a wig.
• Comb-overs are absurd. You'll never catch me with one.
• Why is the simplest woman's haircut twice the price of a man's?
• Men's hairstyles are odd right now. Undercut, Caesar cut, buzz cut, Mohawk. Strange mixtures of long hair and short hair.
• I'm wary of men with buzz cuts. Are they drug dealers or paramilitaries? Or both?
• I don't have any fancy shampoos. I just buy the cheapest I can find.
• I tried not washing my hair for a while, as supposedly hair is self-cleaning. I just ended up with stinky hair.

Basically I prefer women's hairstyles to men's. They're more imaginative and they don't look like a prison cut. And they're nicer to fondle. But jeez they're a lot more fuss and bother.