Now it's more complicated. There are online dating services that invite you to contact total strangers, people you've never met in your life and know absolutely nothing about.
You can only go by what information they put online, which may be heavily embellished or completely fabricated. They may have assumed an entirely fictitious identity, with a fake photo they've stolen from someone else. How do you judge whether what they're telling you is true or not?
At least when I was dating someone in the flesh, someone I probably knew quite well, I knew what I was getting. I knew they were the person they said they were, I knew what they looked like, I knew they weren't artificially enhanced.
They might have put on a bit of a false front or hidden a few bad habits, but they were basically what they appeared to be.
But that's not the only change. Anyone trying online dating also has other hazards to contend with - like scamming and stalking. Apparently they're now so rife on dating sites that customers are deserting them in droves.
Some 52 per cent of online daters said they had come across someone they thought was trying to scam them; 57 per cent of women said online dating is not too or not at all safe; and 85 per cent said someone continued to contact them after they said they weren't interested.
All in all, dating seems to have become a minefield. I'm glad all that's behind me.
Not surprising that people, especially women, are abandoning online dating. It makes deception far too easy, and the sheer number of people on display to choose from discourages taking the time to properly evaluate any one of them. Getting to know people in real life is better from every viewpoint, even if it seems more difficult. It's not as easy as meeting people online, but unlike online, you truly can get to know them if you're willing to invest the time.
ReplyDeleteInfidel: "Getting to know people in real life is better from every viewpoint." Indeed. Online friends can hide their true identities - and intentions - so easily.
DeleteI've read that people are swearing off dating sites and are preferring to meet people in real life.
ReplyDeleteMaybe there will be a resurgence of dating agencies where potential mates are vetted for suitability - makes sense to do it through an agent if you're serious.
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Ms Scarlet: Even if you vet people for their suitability, I'm sure they can still fool you with a pack of lies.
DeleteIt would be a nightmare, but if you were able to get a real name, at least the internet is helpful in vetting people.
ReplyDeleteBijoux: That works if people use their real name but not if they invent one.
DeleteAs you get older and I don't mean senior, it is more difficult to meet people than when in the 20s. I have younger friends who use these sites and it has never worked out. Not yet anyway.
ReplyDeleteSandra: True, meeting compatible people isn't so easy as you get older. And it's interesting that your younger friends haven't had much success with dating sites.
DeleteDo people not meet these days? Fellow students, colleagues, regulars in the pub after work, sports matches, clubs?
ReplyDeleteFly: Yes, you would think they'd meet lots of people. So I'm a bit puzzled as to why they need to try dating sites.
DeleteI think people do meet organically but it's not like it was.
DeleteSeveral times I have enrolled in a course or gone to an event looking forward to meeting people as a side benefit to the real reason I'm there but the people are too involved with their phones to interact. They bury their heads in their laptop to get some work done or they rush off to phone someone at home or they can't stand to be around people so they go for a walk.
Honestly, it's painful.
Kylie: Frustrating experiences. You'd think that like you people would be keen to chat to the other attendees and maybe make a few new friends, but not a bit of it.
DeleteI've never been on a dating site and don't plan on ever dating again so this is definitely not for me.
ReplyDeleteMary: In which case you've avoided an awful lot of fuss and bother!
DeleteI have put a dating app on my phone and swiped through the options but I have never
ReplyDeleteSome of them are barely literate and put odd photos on so you know those ones aren't making an effort.
I hesitate to contact anyone who is all about the outdoors and travel given that those two things are quite difficult for me (and that counts out 80% of the users) and very occasionally I see someone who appears to have similar values to me but they are atheists. And I don't have an issue with them being an atheist but I know for sure they wont have any understanding of my life.
Bumble used to do a speed chat tytpe of thing one night a week and i joined that a few times but the men I felt I might have had the best chat with consistently blocked me.
Maybe one day i'll meet somebody organically but I won't be using the apps
That first line should have said I never took it further
DeleteKylie: You've obviously had a disappointing time with dating apps. A shame about the ones who seem compatible except for their atheism. I wonder why those Bumble men kept blocking you??
DeleteKylie - Try an arts based activity, or creative writing - people are far more likely to interact and not look at their phones when they physically have to be engaged with something visual - even photography might work.
ReplyDeleteLife drawing loosens people up!
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