But what exactly does pretentious mean? I would say any or all of the following:
- Name dropping ("As Ian McEwan once said to Zadie Smith....")
- Claiming to know all about some obscure topic ("Of course marine biology has a lot to say about coral reefs")
- Claiming to have met lots of famous people ("As I was saying to Greta Thunberg....")
- Posing as a connoisseur of wine ("A delicious merlot. Strong alpine notes with overtones of pampas grass")
- Claiming to have read every significant book ("I absolutely adore Ulysses. Molly Bloom is quite unforgettable")
- Purporting to be generally better educated, more discerning, more sophisticated ("Anyone with half a brain can see the economy is about to collapse")
- Slavishly following the latest fashions ("My dear, bootleg jeans are so last year")
- Maintaining that difficult, laborious novels are superior to ones that are readable and uncomplicated ("The reader should have to do a bit of work")
- Concocting ridiculous explanations of art works ("James is interested in the interface between spatial awareness and partial enclosure")
- Liking restaurants that offer tiny meals with strange ingredients rather than a good plateful of something with chips ("This chef is so wonderfully experimental")
- Peppering your conversation with foreign phrases ("It was a coup de theatre, a performance sans pareil")
PS: Jean thinks I'm being pretentious myself by acting superior to people who're pretentious. Could she be right?
I have had my share of brushes with pretentious specimens but, thankfully, haven't had to in quite a long time as I am now retired and associate only with people that I am comfortable with.
ReplyDeleteRamana: Indeed, like us, now you're retired you can keep away from pretentious individuals. Every workplace has several of them.
DeleteLol, yes pretentious folks can be a bit much. However, I don't think people should pretend not to know things or act as though they aren't well read, traveled, etc. I think there's a way to have an intelligent conversation without being a know-it-all or putting down someone who isn't as familiar as you are with wine, etc.
ReplyDeleteBijoux: I agree. Of course women have always been advised to hide their intelligence so as not to embarrass insecure men. Phooey, I say. And yes, it's possible to be knowledgeable but to wear your knowledge lightly.
DeleteAnd then there is humblebragging....some of the expats here blasting off about their contributions to the foodbanks set up to ensure people in out of the way places have a stock of the basics...for goodness' sake, they have donated a bag of rice while out shopping!
ReplyDeleteFly: Donating a bag of rice - big deal. And maybe they also clap the health workers once a week? I don't think poorly-protected nurses in covid wards would be impressed.
DeleteI've been trying to think of something terribly witty/intelligent/pretentious to say - but I can't. Bijoux's comment is very good .
ReplyDeletePolly: Yes, Bijoux made a good point about not pretending not to know things. There's nothing wrong with being knowledgeable, as long as you don't use your knowledge to belittle other people.
Delete"So I'm fond of describing other people as pretentious." Doesn't that mean you think you are superior to them? And isn't one definition of pretentious, "Showing or betraying an attitude of superiority." I figure we're all a bunch of nuts, so why should I or them be exceptions? I try to interact with people that I can connect with, that are good matches. It's fun when it happens.
ReplyDeleteJean: Good question. But I don't think I'm acting superior to them, I just think they're being a bit fake. However, I shall mull over what you've said!
DeleteBut don't you feel superior to them? And aren't you showing it by blogging about it? We humans do like to compare ourselves with others.
DeleteJean: I just feel I'm being a bit more genuine than other people. I don't think that means I feel superior to them. Someone may talk a lot of piffle about wine, but they may be very appealing in other ways.
DeleteIn both her comments Cheerful Monk made excellent points.
DeleteAs to, by way of one of your examples, "talk a lot of piffle about wine". How do you know it's a lot of "piffle"? Maybe he (the finer points of wine usually a man's domain) DOES know a lot about wine. You don't. So how do you know it's "piffle"? Or, maybe, you too know a lot about it but the finer detail bores you. Fine difference.
I don't want to overspill, Nick, and I know I do live on borrowed time but you sure do stretch your own pretensions at times. One definition (the one Jean gives) namely "showing or betraying an attitude of superiority" applies to virtually all your blog posts. I wouldn't call you pretentious but you sure do come across as someone who feels superior to a lot of people. If justifiably so nothing wrong with letting it all hang out.
Mwah, mwah,
U
Ursula: I don't generally regard myself as superior to others, except maybe the sort of complete lunatic who believes that coronavirus is caused by the 5G mobile network. In fact I believe most people are superior to me in all kinds of ways - more intelligent, more practical, more resilient, better informed etc etc.
DeleteHow do I know people talk piffle about wine? Because Jenny and I can enjoy a £6 bottle of wine without someone "explaining" it to us. Have a look at this: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/jun/23/wine-tasting-junk-science-analysis
No, I'm still trying to better myself and I'm proud to say, it seems to be working. I'm forgetting more things every day..
ReplyDeleteS&S: Me too. My memory gets more and more dysfunctional. I can barely remember a conversation I had yesterday, let alone five years ago. Now where did I put my house keys?
DeleteI really enjoy in a weird way the unconsciously pretentious who damn with faint praise. I witnessed recently with an acquaintance who visited a friend who through many trials and heartbreaks rented his first apartment in the city.
ReplyDelete"Oh my," he told me she said,"How quaint." And then the slam dunk: "your whole apartment would fit in my bedroom closet!"
And I know for a fact that is so untrue.
XO
WWW
www: The friend must have been thoroughly deflated by such a tactless remark. People so often don't think before they speak.
DeleteOh I'm definitely not pretentious then. I like easy to read books, homemade meals that have good size portions and art that my daughter paints. lol
ReplyDeleteMary: Good for you! I've never had you down as in any way pretentious. You seem to be a very down-to-earth person.
DeleteI enjoy knowledgable or well-read/well-travelled people IF they don't seem to think that makes them superior to you. And boy, that can happen in just about any domain. I was on-line trying to find out exactly how to tell the difference between poison ivy and young boxelder, and found a blog where someone was asking that very question. One of the commenters said, "once again we are back to botany for beginners. Maples such as Boxelder have opposite leaf arrangement whereas the genus Rhus which includes sumac & p. ivy has alternate leaf arrangement. Now look at your plant and give us the answer." I mean really, that's a dick move right there. Why not just say, "Box elder leaves are on the stem directly across from each other on the same node, and poison ivy leaves come off the stem on either side at different places." Or something like that, instead of the cutting remark about botany for beginners and instructions to relook at the plant and report back. THAT'S pretentious!
ReplyDeleteAgent: Exactly. Remarks like that are totally patronising and unnecessary. A male presumably, just wanting to make people feel stupid.
DeleteAlways interesting to think about why people behave as they do — what they're trying to achieve. Such people as you describe do seem to be trying to impress someone. Cheerful Monk does have a point.
ReplyDeleteJoared: They're certainly trying to impress people. In fact "trying to impress people" would be a good definition of pretentiousness.
DeleteI think sometimes it's possible for people to throw around jargon or phrases about something they're very involved in or very passionate about without being pretentious. But it has to come from a place of excitement rather than one-upping for me to think it's passion or involvement. I'm fine with something like "I read about this really cool ingredient and bought it and tried it in this recipe, and it was good/bad/weird/, and this is what I'd change next time." I'm not okay with something like "I can't believe you'd eat that, it's too boring/plain/cheap." I guess for me it comes down to whether or not I feel like you're telling me something because you're just so excited about it and you have to tell someone, or if it feels like you're telling me about something because you want to prove you're the smartest, most sophisticated, or cultured person in the room.
ReplyDelete