Over to you

We at Nickhereandnow are proud to unveil our new personalised blog post service. From now on, there's no need to plough through whatever nonsense we foist on you. You can design your own post, perfectly suited to your tastes and preferences, knowing that full satisfaction is guaranteed! Simply select your requirements from the choices listed:

Subject: (a) Nick's neuroses (b) fluffy kittens (c) other people's weird habits (d) a domestic catastrophe (e) other

Emotional flavour: (a) anger (b) disappointment (c) sadness (d) horror (e) other

Conclusion: (a) there are so many idiots out there (b) I could have kicked myself (c) no wonder I hate beetroot (d) the insects are taking over (e) other

With a brief mention of: (a) beekeeping (b) guacamole (c) bicycle clips (d) eyebag concealer (e) other

And no mention at all of: (a) celebs (b) chefs (c) people whose plastic surgery went horribly wrong (d) people who misuse apostrophe's (e) other

Optional extras: (a) several politically incorrect jokes (b) links to fabulous handbags (c) a list of funny place-names (d) ten dating no-nos to avoid at all costs (e) other

What could go wrong? The choice is yours. Enjoy!

Best wishes from Nick, Samantha, Elise, Hajika, Binario, Sebastian and the whole team at Nickhereandnow

[NB: Please allow up to 3 hours for your personalised blog post to be delivered. Some preferences may be temporarily unavailable. We accept no liability for inadvertently offensive material or consequent psychological distress]