I’m amazed at how many men still expect their wives or
girlfriends to take care of all their personal chores, especially around
clothing. Women are still expected to buy their men’s clothes, wash them, iron
them, darn them.
That assumption went without question in my parents’
generation, and my mother took care of my father’s clothes. No doubt cursing
his casual opt-out but doing what was expected of her anyway.
I’ve always bought, washed, ironed and darned my own clothes
and I never thought of it as women’s work (Jenny and I wash our clothes jointly
in the washing machine).
My attitude partly arises from being on my own in a bedsit
for 7½ years. If I didn’t deal with all my clothing chores, nobody else would.
I’d just end up with piles of filthy, nasty-smelling clothes. So I bit the
bullet and did what I had to.
It seems there’s not much women can do about this forced labour,
except to refuse to do any of it. But then you’d end up with more filthy,
nasty-smelling clothes and the men would still refuse to change their ways. And
fail to detect women’s simmering resentment.
My father never did any of the household chores, but then his role was that of the "breadwinner" since he was self-employed and went to work daily. My mother who did work before marriage afterwards had an at-home job of laundry, cooking, shopping and child tending. The same was true of my aunts and uncles. It was a generational thing back then and while modern times have changed, i am certain that it is still the same in many areas and cultures.
ReplyDeleteBeatrice: If the man is a full-time breadwinner then I guess he should be excused some of the household chores. And yes, I imagine the woman as housekeeper stereotype is unfortunately still very much alive and well.
DeleteNope. Andy does his own laundry, has for over 60 years. We established that pattern in the beginning.
ReplyDeleteCheerful Monk
DeleteI'm lucky in that Dave's mother taught all her kids to cook, clean, shop, sew, and do laundry. He does most of that for both of us now. Although getting him to buy new shirts is still a challenge so I tend to pick out some online from which he chooses which to buy.
ReplyDeleteLinda
Dave's mother had the right idea. All parents should be teaching their sons to do the domestic jobs as a routine thing.
DeleteI've never bought my husband any clothes and I wouldn't want him to buy me any. We are both too picky, I suppose. Our chores are divided and I do the laundry and ironing. He does everything outdoors now because I just don't like it. I will say he is much better at ironing than me! But he's terrible at cleaning (and I admit, I'm a bit of a white glove cleaning snob).
ReplyDeleteBijoux: We couldn't possibly buy clothes for each other, like you we're far too picky. That's funny that he's better at ironing than you!
DeleteMy mother was a housewife with six kids, and she did all the inside work. The couch always had a load of clothes on it. I was in cadets so I ironed my own shirts; mother taught me how, as she had been taught by a tailor. Dad worked shift work so he was tired. He read newspapers but never books, never watched TV, except for hockey games.
ReplyDeleteSean: I taught myself how to iron and darn, my mother never taught me. Six kids must have been hard work!
DeleteMy life looks traditional. I do all the standard 'woman's work'. Mark was 30 when we married so he knew how to care for himself but I have a controlling streak when it comes to my environment, which means I took over the household. And the yard. And the house painting. And the horses! Now I'm too unsteady for ladders and handling the horses, but I still control my kitchen!
ReplyDeleteThat reminded me of the time Dave said, "I can't do it your way," so I had to learn to let him do things his way. I still struggle with that sometimes after being married nearly 60 years.
DeleteLinda
Sandra: Jenny has a bit of a controlling streak too. There are certain things she just won't entrust to me because I wouldn't do them the way she wants.
DeleteLinda: Jenny has very specific ideas about how to do certain things so she insists on doing them herself.
DeleteKen and I always did half the chores. He always helped around the house but did most of the outside stuff since he better at it. I cooked because I was better at that. But we both cleaned ect.
ReplyDeleteMary: Looks like you've arranged all your household chores very amicably.
DeleteI'm still chuckling at how a young woman told me, that her mother told her, to have the new husband cook the first meal.
ReplyDeleteI suppose, in these affluent times, she could afford two mops, and then hand him one as they mopped the floor together.
Sean: I wanted to do my share of cooking after Jenny and I moved in together, but my meals were so inedible she decided to take over the cooking. In return I do all the washing up.
DeleteThe most important clothes that need to look ironed are shirts, for both men and women. So buy only non-iron shirts and when one needs washing, wash it in your shower at night and hang it up on a coat hanger.
ReplyDeleteHels
Art and Architecture, mainly
Hels: Good advice. I don't mind ironing my shirts, but I never iron anything else.
DeleteMy husband hated the way I ironed so decided to do his own.
ReplyDeleteMy son hated the way I hung his laundry so decided to do his own.
My girls started doing their own laundry when they were wearing two or three sets of clothes per day and I couldn't get it all done fast enough for their liking.
I think my generation is the last where the woman takes care of all the clothes. Hooray for that change!
Kylie: So between the four of them they lightened your load a bit! Yes, hopefully more men now see clothing chores as their responsibility and not just women's.
Delete