Which surprised me (apart from the extraordinary rudeness), because I've always seen myself as an empathetic person. And because nobody else has ever accused me of the same thing.
Maybe I'm fooling myself. Maybe I am indeed short of empathy but I fondly imagine the opposite.
Empathy is harder if someone is going through some experience I've never had, like pregnancy or a terminal illness, but that doesn't mean I lack empathy.
In some ways I think I have too much empathy (if such a thing is possible). I really feel for all those people around the world who're living in desperate circumstances - victims of poverty, disease, genocide, civil war, and so many other horrific situations. There's no way I can just shut it all out and focus on my comfortable everyday life.
I empathise easily with those who're victims in some way, who've been badly treated and exploited by others. How could anyone not empathise with them?
It may be that I empathise quite easily but I find it hard to express that empathy, so people think I'm a bit cold. I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing so I say nothing.
But people do have some very odd opinions about me.
Nick a very hard and rude judgment. The most we are able to analyse our own emotions , the most we can be empathetic and imagine how others feel. For me empathy goes together with helpfulness. To be horrified by a situation is one thing, to help another. Not to ignore poor people in the street or just help in other situations can be little steps to show empathy. Maybe in your childhood you didn't have the possibilty to show your emotions or needed to hide them which can explain that today you feel much empathy and maybe cannot express it.
ReplyDeleteHannah
Hannah: I think empathy and helpfulness are different things. You can empathise with someone's situation without necessarily helping them. They may not even want to be helped, they may just want to be heard and understood.
DeleteYes, my emotions were definitely squashed when I was a child, both by my parents and by my boarding school.
Nick, my parents education principle was empathy the first step , helpfulness the next, so for sure I was influenced by that as well as by our special family history. But of course each individual will choose his own way.
DeleteHannah .
Hannah: Your special family history? Are you thinking of political persecution?
DeleteNick, yes of course . A great number of our Jewish family was murdered in concentration camps during the Nazi regime. My parents educated me not to hate because hate produces hate and only to stay human can help us to overcome the horrors. I'm admiring so much Saïd who always believes in the good side of human beings.
DeleteHannah
Hannah: I can scarcely imagine what life must have been like under the Nazis. Yes, hate just produces more hate. I also admire those who always look for the good side of human beings.
DeleteNobody can tell you what you feel. I'm sure you do your best to be kind and thoughtful towards those who cross your path.
ReplyDeleteSx
Ms Scarlet: I do indeed. It's very rare for me to be rude or abusive to other people.
DeleteWell, that sounds judgmental which is the opposite of empathy? Maybe that person should put themselves in your shoes! 🤓
ReplyDeleteBijoux: My own thought exactly! But rudeness seems to be all the rage nowadays.
DeleteI understand. I am not emotive, but that does not mean I am not empathetic. As has been said, that person seems to lack empathy.
ReplyDeleteSandra: Exactly. You can be empathetic without having to gush with emotion or make dramatic gestures.
DeleteRule #2 of the 7 rules of life: What others think of you is none of your business.
ReplyDeleteI struggle with that one but I think I agree with it.
Linda
Linda: Very true. But this particular dismissal was hard to take.
DeleteHalf the people in this country are in short supply of this piece of grace.
ReplyDeleteJoanne: That's the impression I've been getting for quite a while.
DeleteYou know yourself better than anyone else. She's wrong, of course.
ReplyDeleteColette: Thank you! How she ever got the idea that I lacked empathy is a mystery to me.
DeleteJust because someone seems less emotional or doesn't show their emotions as much as someone else doesn't mean they lack empathy. You know what you are feeling.
ReplyDeleteMary: Exactly. Just because you don't blurt out your every emotion doesn't mean you have no emotions and no empathy.
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