As my regulars will know, my mum was a compulsive hoarder. After she died, huge amounts of junk and clutter had to be cleared out of her flat. There were newspapers and bank statements and travel brochures going back years.
When my brother in law tried on one occasion to remove some of he accumulated clutter, my mum was furious and forbad him to remove anything. Even when she was warned that the state of the flat was a fire and safety hazard, she took no notice. I've no idea why she was attached to all this stuff. I can only assume it comforted or reassured her in some way.
Just recently I encountered another hoarder, whose flat was equally full of junk - a lot of it brand-new items that had never been used. She did at least accept that the hoarding was out of control and she needed to have a serious clear-out.
Jenny and I are the opposite. We like neat and tidy surroundings and we discard or recycle as much stuff as we possibly can. We can't imagine the house being so cluttered we'd find it difficult simply to move around or do everyday tasks.
Psychologists struggle to explain the hoarding urge - why people get so emotionally attached to things that they have to keep them, and get so angry when anyone suggests parting with some of them.
Just how does it start? Were their parents hoarders? Did their parents throw away things they treasured? Did their parents encourage spending sprees? Were their parents afraid of discarding something vital by mistake? Whatever the cause, psychologists are still very much in the dark.
Let's leave parents out of the equation. One can't blame all one's shortcomings on our forebears. Before I now launch into a discussion on "free will" I shall stick to the main route.
ReplyDeleteA couple of years ago I was mesmerized by some American reality show depicting horders. By which I mean hording on an industrial scale. Dead cats' carcasses, rats, mice and their droppings, amidst years of accumulated rubbish, you name it. It was so so so awful I was spellbound. There was an old guy (sick) who had to sleep in his car because his wife had filled their "home" top to bottom with STUFF. How the Rescue teams that came to these places (with lorries to take away the debris) coped with the mental fallout of their "clients" and the smell I don't know.
Going back to the psychology: Maybe hoarding is a bit like people stuffing their faces (eating) all the time - even when not hungry. Trying to fill some bottomless void. It's tragic.
Not exactly minimalistic but homely and comfy, yours,
U
Ursula: That programme you watched sounds pretty disgusting. The poor guy who was forced to sleep in his car! Hoarding might be trying to fill a bottomless void? - that sounds plausible.
DeleteI couldn't bear it if I couldn't walk around my bed easily, or if the stairs were impassable because of wayward possessions, but I do have too much stuff.
ReplyDeleteI've been clearing out this year, and it is difficult to throw out sentimental items, but I know that it's for the best.
Sx
Ms Scarlet: Some sort of paralysing emotional attachment seems to be a common feature of hoarding.
DeleteI know that my mother’s issues with hoarding were the result of growing up poor. There was always a fear of ‘running out,’ so she would stock upon anything that she deemed to be a good deal, whether it was paper towels or shoes. She also never threw anything away because she feared she’d need it In the future.
ReplyDeleteMy oldest daughter was an RN case manager in home health for 5 years and witnessed a lot of hoarding. One of her patients was even featured on the reality show, Hoarders. She said that the majority of people had faced a lot of loss in their lives (deaths of children being a major one) so it made it difficult for them to throw anything away, even trash.
Bijoux: The fear of running out is normal enough but taking it to such an extreme is crazy. Hoarding as a reaction to loss (and not wanting to experience more loss) makes a lot of sense.
DeleteI've known 2 massive hoarders, one a very close friend. I cleaned out her place three times. A total waste of time. She stopped having anyone into her house as we were too "judgemental". I can't begin to describe how absolutely awful it was. A tiny pathway into each room. Groceries piled up on either side of it. I'll stop now.
ReplyDeleteAnother went away to visit her son and when she came back her daughter had emptied her cottage of all the rubbish. Guess what? T went to the dump and got it all back. It's a very serious psychological disorder. The two I am citing here were moved around a whole lot as children (my bestie had 11 moves in 16 years) and I think it could be based on uncertainty and putting down roots.
XO
WWW
www: Going to the dump and retrieving all the stuff that was thrown away? That's bonkers! Uncertainty and putting down roots? Not sure about that.
DeleteI think, generally, something traumatic happened to the hoarder and this is their way of now feeling in control.
ReplyDeleteLinda
Linda: Yes, that makes sense.
DeleteAnmonymous Fly here....my husband is not a hoarder to the extent of not being able to walk through the house unimpeded, but nothing gets thrown away as 'it might come in useful'.
ReplyDeleteFly: I must admit I say that sometimes - "you never know, it might come in useful"
DeleteI have a friend who is quite the hoarder, not to the extent of having tiny pathways through the house but there are piles of stuff everywhere, much of it has the potential to be useful but is not actually useful (how many ice cream makers can one single person use? how many wind chimes?)
ReplyDeleteShe's a highly anxious person who had a traumatic childhood and i'm sure it relates to that.
There's no point trying to remove clutter from a hoarder, they'll just accumulate all over again unless the psychological issues are solved.
I'm not what anyone would call a hoarder but I sometimes hold onto things because it would feel wasteful to throw them away. I feel like hoarding is on a continuum and we're all on it somewhere, the big question is when does it change from eccentric or quirky to pathological?
Kylie: Yes, I guess there's usually some kind of trauma in the person's past that sets off the hoarding. Not sure what the trauma would have been in my mum's case. As you say, the psychological issues have to be investigated. And yes, it's a continuum - a continuum that has to be interrupted early on before the hoarding gets out of control.
DeleteI have no idea. I have to clean out my closets every couple of months just to make more space since my apartment is small.
ReplyDeleteMary: Having a small apartment is a great incentive not to buy stuff you really don't need.
DeleteHoarding seems to run in our family. My cousin and I try to keep a check on it. Other family members aren't inclined to hoard and me and my cousin are pretty sure it's genetic.
ReplyDeleteJenny: It could be partly genetic. About 50 per cent of hoarders have a family member who is also a hoarder.
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