Saturday 16 January 2021

Puttering along

 

I'm grateful for the fact that Jenny and I have weathered the pandemic and the various lockdowns so successfully. There haven't been any big psychological or emotional traumas, and we've just puttered along comfortably.

That's not the case for many others who've found the pandemic hard to cope with and have been driven to unexpected extremes. They've divorced, or had affairs (or discovered them), or developed mental problems like anxiety or depression, or had violent arguments over housework or shopping - or just different attitudes to fighting the virus.

Of course it helps that Jenny and I are such a long-standing couple and have had plenty of time to adjust to each other's personalities and quirks and weaknesses. The pandemic is just another crisis we've adjusted to together. Therapists have noticed that long-standing couples are coping better with the pandemic than short-term couples.

Sometimes I miss the old freedoms we took for granted - going wherever we wanted, going to the cinema or art galleries or literary events, jetting off to some exciting destination - but most of the time I'm happy to hunker down with a good book or a glass of wine. After all, I've been retired for almost three years, so I'm used to amusing myself.

I'm also glad all this has happened now, when I can share the crisis with a partner in a big, warm house. If it had happened in the seventies, when I was living on my own in a bleak, freezing bedsit, I would probably have been very miserable. For a start, I wouldn't have had the internet to entertain me.

The only thing that worries me right now is, will I get my usual slap-up birthday meal at our favourite local restaurant, or will it still be closed? Will I have to make do with a mushroom pizza and a few swigs of pinot grigio? Time will tell.

31 comments:

  1. We've managed to weather the storm here, too. We miss a lot of what we used to do, but that gives a lot to look forward to. Puttering around with our individual projects and interests fills up the time and most of the video watching for me is when I am on the treadmill. In a few weeks, it will be 49 years since we met and, shortly after that, married. I can't imagine going it alone through this last year.

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    1. Mike: I can't imagine going it alone either. It would be a dismal experience.

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  2. Andy and I haven't been affected much by the COVID changes. The big wrench for us would/will be when one of us shuffles off and the survivor has a big hole in their life and heart.

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    1. Jean: Same here. We're so used to sharing our thoughts and experiences with each other.

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  3. I think friendships are also being tested. The majority of my friends are still gathering indoors with each other. The few of us that won’t do that are irritated about it. It has become a divisive issue like politics.

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    1. Bijoux: Indoor gatherings seem to be one of the big factors in the now sky-high infection rates in the UK. It's just asking for trouble.

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  4. Life hasn't changed very much for us....except for having friends over for a meal, which I miss very much, not just for the chance to talk, but the chance to cook for more than two which can be decidedly limiting, day in, day out...

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    1. Fly: Luckily Jenny likes cooking for just the two of us. I'm not sure what we would do if neither of us enjoyed cooking!

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  5. I can barely imagine how we would have done all this pre-internet. The timing really couldn't have been better, even ten years ago we probably would have struggled a lot more

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    1. Kylie: Absolutely. With nothing but a phone and a few books and newspapers, we'd have been tearing our hair out.

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  6. other than the tragedy of people losing those that they love... I am actually finding it oddly cozy and simple.
    I've pretty much lived a cloistered but happy life anyway for many years now. but like Kylie said... I would hate to be enduring all of this without the internet or my kindle! friends at my fingertips as it were! :D xo ... and God Bless creative people! like you and others with their blogs!

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    1. Tammy: The UK death toll of 102,000, one of the highest death rates in the world, is totally shocking. It makes me and Jenny appreciate just how lucky we are not to have caught it.

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  7. My husband and I have been much the same as you and Jenny. Content at home and in each other's company, with life seeming pretty normal for the most part. I do miss my friends, and being able to go out and do normal things like shop, see a movie, browse at the bookstore, etc but hopefully this year will bring widespread vaccination and life can slowly return to some kind of normal. I'm counting on it!

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    1. Jennifer: I know, I just want to go out and do normal things! I should be vaccinated in the next few weeks, though of course it won't give me total immunity and I'll still need to take precautions.

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  8. I hope your birthday is not imminent.

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    1. Joanne: No, it's on March 20 - another two months so the lockdown might be eased by then.

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    2. Mine is March 31st, and I have no expectations.

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    3. Joanne: That's a day after me and Jenny's anniversary of first meeting. Our Meetaversary!

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  9. Many of us do live alone and it's quite alright and I only speak for myself.
    I guess I'm used to my own vibrations and I do enjoy my own company.

    XO
    WWW

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    1. www: A good way of putting it - used to your own vibrations. I guess that's how I feel as well.

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  10. I have a hunch that generally long term bloggers had already learnt to hunker down, and we already had the necessary social connections to keep us entertained.
    Sx

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    1. Ms Scarlet: That's true - we bloggers have plenty of social connections to make up for the temporary loss of our outside-world connections.

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  11. You will see from my latest blog post that I ventured out for a long drive and chore yesterday and am very happy with the experience. It has given me the confidence to venture out more in the future and perhaps even to the extent of pre lockdown days.

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    1. Ramana: Glad to hear that. I think the most important thing is just to keep well away from other people. If someone gets too close to me, I hold my breath until I'm past them.

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  12. Like you and Jenny we also have been content with staying home, cooking more and unfortunately enjoying that food, perhaps too much. We miss the excitement of seeing friends, visiting family, taking a road trip, and even dining out, which we do very sparingly now. Thankfully, we each have our own interests as well as some shared ones and each of us is used to being content alone, but comfortable knowing there is someone else nearby. It seems like you also have the same attitude.

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    1. Beatrice: Living with a partner but each of you being content alone is the ideal situation. And yes, Jenny and I are much the same.

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  13. I'm glad things are alright for you. I stay home most of the time so being made to stay here really changes nothing for me. We're not locked down though even though new cases have skyrocketed here.

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    1. Mary: I'm amazed you're not under a lockdown! The infection and death rates in the States are incredible. Those in the UK aren't much better.

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  14. There’s much to be said for “puttering along comfortably” together. I had to become adjusted to living alone after my husband died so I have pretty much adapted to that situation. Helps to just live in the moment and not lament what isn’t.

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    1. Joared: Living in the moment is a good principle. Why waste time regretting the past or worrying about the future? Though I confess to worrying about the future sometimes - especially whether I'll have an easy death or a long and painful one.

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