The idea is that people who want some social contact can head for these chat areas and strike up conversation with others in the same boat.
Alexandra Hoskyn was 33 when she started the Chatty Café Scheme three years ago. Her son, Henry, was four months old and she felt isolated and deprived of adult company. So she encouraged coffee shops to set up chat areas where lonely people could meet and talk.
Now more than 1,000 cafés, hospitals, council offices, supermarkets and other venues have set up chat tables and the trend is catching on.
It seems like a great idea to me. You can chat to someone knowing they also want to chat, instead of risking a brush-off or just keeping yourself to yourself.
I don't know of any such "chat areas" in Northern Ireland, although Costa Coffee and Sainsbury's have introduced them elsewhere. Mind you, the Northern Irish are naturally chatty and will natter away to anyone anywhere. Sit next to someone on the bus and you could very well hear their entire life story by the end of the journey.
Loneliness has been linked to many medical conditions such as dementia, obesity, high blood pressure and mental disorders, so it seems a no-brainer that anything that makes it easier to link up with other people can only be a good thing.
I'd like to give it a try. Just as long as I'm not landed with some gung-ho political nerd who wants to discuss the finer details of Brexit for at least half an hour....
I think it's a nice idea, as well. Especially when you are on a long train ride and boredom has set in. For me, there's only so much reading or crossword puzzles I can do. It would seem unnecessary in a coffee shop, as many people only go there with the intention to meet up with someone they know, but I guess there are those who just want to get out of the house and have no one to socialize with.
ReplyDeleteBijoux: I guess a lot of people don't go to coffee shops precisely because other people are usually with a friend and they feel uncomfortable on their own. Chat areas would maybe tempt them in.
ReplyDeleteWhen visiting mymother I found Southampton very chatty...it was very pleasant.
ReplyDeletePeople here in Costa Rica are pretty chatty too, well, older people who do notr have their noses in their 'phones.
I think it a super initiative, though....
I live in a place where stranger chats happen all the time spontaneously. I can't imagine designating structured spots for such interaction but whatever floats the old boat. I would be slightly nervous of CBs (Crashing Bores) frequenting such spots broadcasting their pomposity to their captive victims. Or predators for that matter.
ReplyDeleteThere are many communities with common interests set up for loneliness. I'm thinking book clubs and choirs and bridge and foodies, etc.
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Helen: Indeed, those people with noses always stuck in their phones would be a hard nut to crack. Likewise the ones who're busy working on their laptops.
ReplyDeletewww: There are plenty of community activities round here, but mostly they don't appeal to me. I am in the local book club though. And yes, crashing bores and predators would rather spoil the idea.
The community we live in now is full of friendly folk always looking to meet new people. Yet the restaurant on site has a community table to facilitate those singles who prefer not to eat alone to be comfortable sharing space. Some people who have met there have branched off to their own group table to make way for other newcomers. It's not for me but I think it's a lovely idea.
ReplyDeleteOn Amtrak trains in the USA the dining car steward fills up each table so you meet all kinds of people also traveling by train. We've even run into people we met on the train after we reach our destination. There's a kind of connection there that extends into new spaces where you might not know anyone else.
I think it’s a great idea. And we’re like Linda, it’s fun to meet new people in the Amtrak dining car. :)
ReplyDeleteI don't go to coffee shops because I don't particularly like coffee!
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, I've read about this chat thing, and I think it's an interesting idea, though I can't imagine morning commuters to London joining in - but maybe things have changed!
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Linda: A community table sounds good. I've only been on an Amtrak train once (New York to Boston) and we didn't use the dining car. We're taking the (Canadian) train from Halifax to Montreal in the autumn. Maybe we'll make a few new friends?
ReplyDeleteJean: See my reply to Linda.
Ms Scarlet: That surprises me, I had you down as a keen coffee-drinker! No, I can't see much participation from those morning commuters who're doggedly indifferent to all the other passengers.
ReplyDeleteThis has not become a problem yet though there are signs that urban high pressure living is resulting in loneliness for some people. The problem here is more of too much chat, particularly with modern social media applications like WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram etc. I know of people who do not get time to read because they get so many WhatsApp and Twitter messages throughout the day.
ReplyDeleteCoffee/tea shop chats take place all the time everywhere here even, in small towns and villages particularly around bus stands and railway stations.
Ramana: Goodness, Jenny and I devour books like crazy, even though we're both on Facebook and social media generally. How come people get so many messages? And are those coffee/tea shop chats mainly between people who are already friends, or do complete strangers get together?
ReplyDeleteInteresting, and think this sounds like a good idea. Twenty years or so ago I periodically stopped in a coffee shop on my way to or from somewhere and rather than be seated at a booth sat down at the counter. There was a mix of people with a nucleus of the same ones returning much as I was doing. We formed friendships of a sort since they mostly were people who lived in our community. Now that group has gradually changed with some moving away, and have learned some subsequently died. My life changed a bit and I had stopped going. Wife, now widow, of one of our group — she seldom ever came — I’ve since had contact with. She told me about another group in our downtown area that is much larger and gathers much the same way. I went a few times. Enjoyed the people I met, but prefer sleeping in since I retired so haven’t gotten into going there so early as my life style preferences have altered since becoming a night owl.
ReplyDeleteJoared: I've never been a night owl, even now I'm retired. I go to bed early and get up early.
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of a sort of "counter group", of people who always sit at the counter. A shame they gradually disappeared for one reason or another.
I recently suggested to my kids that people should wear badges saying they are up for a chat. My kids thought I was a lunatic but I actually think it would be ok.
ReplyDeleteIt also has an advantage over a chat Cafe because it opens the possibility of a connection where ever you are.
Having said that, not everyone would want to wear a badge and whatever people are happy to use is going to be the most therapeutic
Kylie: I've heard of the badge idea before. As you say, the advantage is that you can connect with people wherever you are. But I wouldn't want to wear one all the time, especially in a public street, because who knows what screwballs might accost you?
ReplyDeleteUsually friends but, total strangers meeting in such places can and do develop long lasting friendships.
ReplyDeleteRamana: Sounds good!
ReplyDeleteIt does indeed sound like a good idea unless you are painfully shy like me LOL.
ReplyDeleteChuck: I'm pretty shy as well, but I think if I was actually being invited to have a chat, I could manage that all right.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like a great idea. It can be so awkward trying to strike up a conversation with a stranger, but knowing they want to talk would make it a lot easier.
ReplyDeletenutters will acost anyone, badge or not!
ReplyDeleteDanielle: That's it, if you know they want to talk, there's nothing to stop you making contact.
ReplyDeleteKylie: True enough. I've been accosted by plenty in my time!