Festive fork-out

Is it outrageous to charge your family members for their Christmas meal? Or is it fair that you shouldn't have to bear the full cost yourself and the other diners should pay for their share?

Last year Carla Bellucci charged her guests £150 each for their Christmas meal. This year she's charging £200 ($252). She justifies the £50 increase as covering the rising cost of food and utilities. She says "Paying up is the least they can do for all the time and effort I'm putting in." *

Only adults and teenagers over 16 are required to pay, while younger children dine for free. She says anyone unwilling to pay is welcome to decline the invitation.

Not surprisingly she has received a torrent of online abuse, including death and rape threats. But a lot of people agree with her that the cost should be shared.

It's a valid point that expecting one person to foot the whole cost of the Christmas meal is rather unfair, on top of all the other Christmas expenses. But I suspect that many of the guests quietly slip the host a tenner or two towards the cost.

But £200 a head is a pretty hefty charge, especially since she expects the guests to bring their own alcohol and drinks. Are they being served caviar and oysters? Are the choicest ingredients being flown in from across the world?

Jenny and I are dodging the whole controversy. It'll be just the two of us for our Christmas meal. And it certainly won't cost us £400.

* Maybe she's also charging for the time and effort?

Over the top

It seems that elaborate weddings aren't going out of favour but are more popular than ever, and many attendees are complaining about how much money they're expected to fork out.

There are often complaints that they're expected to spend way more than they spent on their own wedding, especially if the wedding takes place not locally but in some distant location, requiring flights and hotels.

Expenses can include the wedding gift, maybe a bridesmaid dress, bridal shower gift, and hair and make-up.

"Why are we normalising this behaviour?" said one bridesmaid. "I'm so happy to celebrate my friend's special day, but it's getting out of hand. What happened to just getting together a few days before the wedding to celebrate?"

As most of you will know, Jenny and I had the exact opposite of a grand wedding. We married in the local registry office with just two witnesses, and then the four of us went out for a celebratory meal. We would never have expected our friends to lash out huge sums to attend an over-the-top wedding.

I would have thought that with the escalating cost of living, people would spend as little as they could on their wedding and save as much cash as possible for future expenses like buying a house. But no, they want to get hitched in style.

And do those fancy weddings work or do they end in tears? In a survey of 4,000 married couples, more than 50% said they'd felt regret at some point in their marriage. They thought they'd married the wrong person, or the love was never mutual, or their partner's personality changed.

Personally I've never had any regrets. Luckily Jenny and I clicked right from the start.

The cost of Christmas

A Cardiff woman, Caroline Duddridge, who regularly hosts Christmas dinner for her 11-strong family, was finding the cost quite a financial strain. So she hit on a novel solution - charging them for the meal.

They were asked to pay between £2.50 and £15 according to their ability to pay, which raised about £180. That didn't cover the whole cost but covered quite a lot of it.

She explained that after the death of her husband in 2015, her income was halved and Christmas dinner wasn't so easily afforded. Also, why should the host bear the full financial burden of a slap-up meal?

She says some people have accused her of being a Scrooge, but her friends thought it was a good idea.

I'm a bit divided about this. Yes, she shouldn't have to bear the entire cost of Christmas dinner, especially when there are additional costs for Christmas decorations, Christmas presents, and no doubt plenty of alcohol.

A lot of people get themselves into heavy debt to pay for Christmas, so maybe asking for some help towards the cost is simply sensible.

On the other hand, isn't there a more informal way of covering the cost? Couldn't she just have a quiet word with the attendees and say a contribution to the expense would be much appreciated?

And why is she always the host? Couldn't some other family members host the Christmas dinner?

Apparently quite a few families already make a charge for Christmas dinner. With more and more people facing the rocketing cost of living and finding the price of even everyday meals quite challenging, never mind Christmas, this may be an idea whose time has come.

How else to make ends meet?

Pic: Caroline Duddridge

Who needs presents?

 

Journalist Allison Pearson says she's lost count of the number of people who have told her they're not buying or expecting presents for Christmas. Gifts for the children, yes, but not for adult relatives or friends.

When so many people are watching the pennies because of the cost of living crisis, having to exchange Christmas presents is an expense they could do without. And how many people even appreciate the pricy gifts they're presented with?

I think she's right. Yes, children expect presents and will be sorely disappointed if they don't get any. But adults don't need presents. Allison would rather people brought a bit of food and drink, or simply loaded the dishwasher. That would be warmly welcomed.

Jenny and I decided some time ago not to give each other presents for Christmas or birthdays. We were always racking our brains for something suitable and drawing a blank. We realised that all we really wanted at Christmas was just some tasty food, a glass or two of wine, something entertaining on the telly, and a few games of Scrabble. Presents weren't necessary.

Lots of people get into huge debts at Christmas because they feel obliged to give presents to all and sundry but simply can't afford it. Then they spend months trying to pay off the debts and maybe failing to do so. But media images of Christmas, with vast piles of presents under a Christmas tree, perpetuate the idea that it's normal to give presents and not giving any is unthinkable.

Well, perhaps we would start thinking the unthinkable.