There are often complaints that they're expected to spend way more than they spent on their own wedding, especially if the wedding takes place not locally but in some distant location, requiring flights and hotels.
Expenses can include the wedding gift, maybe a bridesmaid dress, bridal shower gift, and hair and make-up.
"Why are we normalising this behaviour?" said one bridesmaid. "I'm so happy to celebrate my friend's special day, but it's getting out of hand. What happened to just getting together a few days before the wedding to celebrate?"
As most of you will know, Jenny and I had the exact opposite of a grand wedding. We married in the local registry office with just two witnesses, and then the four of us went out for a celebratory meal. We would never have expected our friends to lash out huge sums to attend an over-the-top wedding.
I would have thought that with the escalating cost of living, people would spend as little as they could on their wedding and save as much cash as possible for future expenses like buying a house. But no, they want to get hitched in style.
And do those fancy weddings work or do they end in tears? In a survey of 4,000 married couples, more than 50% said they'd felt regret at some point in their marriage. They thought they'd married the wrong person, or the love was never mutual, or their partner's personality changed.
Personally I've never had any regrets. Luckily Jenny and I clicked right from the start.
My first marriage was a formal wedding, but nothing like they have become. Mark and I were married in the Hennepin County courthouse by a judge. We had two witnesses and my 7 year old son. Weddings have certainly gone over the top.
ReplyDeleteSandra: Marriage is a simple legal procedure. There's no need for all the bells and whistles that some people go in for.
DeleteWe have been invited to two destination weddings, both out of the country. We declined both.
ReplyDeleteBijoux: Very sensible. What's wrong with a local venue?
DeleteSome weddings are crazy now. We went to one in Kefalonia - tied in with a holiday - but turned down a Boxing day wedding in Cyprus.
ReplyDeleteLiz: A Boxing Day wedding in Cyprus? What's the point of getting married 2000 miles from Wales (if they lived in Wales).
DeleteMy daughter let me know last week she feels like the girl in 27 dresses. Her boyfriend and her have been together many years and they'll probably elope. She said she's seen the behind the scenes too many times to justify the costs
ReplyDeleteDumpster: I had to google 27 Dresses - a movie about a girl who's a wedding junkie. I'm intrigued by the behind-the-scenes. Something unpleasant or embarrassing, I guess.
DeleteWe had a simple wedding in the small chapel at our large church. Yes, I had a white, velvet dress but all the guys wore their Army uniforms. I had one maid of honor, my cousin, who wore a dress suitable to keep for her senior prom. It was right after Christmas so the chapel was already decorated. In total we had 75 people and only my father-in-law's boss and a handful of school friends were not related to one of us by blood or marriage. Most of them lived close enough to drive to the ceremony. Only my maid of honor and her mother flew to join us and they stayed at my mother's place.
ReplyDeleteLinda
Linda: Very unusual here to have a maid of honour. I had to google what a maid of honour actually does! 75 people seems quite a big wedding numbers-wise. All those army uniforms must have been impressive.
DeleteQuiet civil ceremony.....whatever gets into people to want to make such an exhibition of themselves.
ReplyDeleteAnon: Indeed. And these grand weddings must cause a huge level of stress and anxiety.
DeleteNick, sorry but I have no opinion on this subject. People are free to do what they wish to organise and if complaining after well it's bad luck . Saïd and I had a big, big wedding , about 250 guests and we never had any regrets . It was just wonderful. We got no gifts because if people wanted to make one we wished to donate money to Médecins sans Frontières, what they all did. Just great.
ReplyDeleteHannah
Hannah: If a big wedding was the right choice for you, fair enough. 250 guests is quite something! I like your decision to ask for donations to MSF rather than getting gifts.
DeleteNick, we loved and still love to be surrounded by people. For us it is a plus to our personal life , eating, exchanging , laughing together and helping each other if necessary is an important thing for us. When we married we were young invited whoever wished to come . We love people.Why be on earth when isolated in the "four walls" of your home. It's our way of life.
ReplyDeleteHannah
Hannah: Oddly enough, I like being surrounded by people as well, but I don't know that many people to be surrounded by! I do think extroversion is the natural tendency, but it's hard to overcome my habitual introversion.
DeleteWe had a simple wedding - registry office; meal with close relatives; home made cake; big party; and dress from Miss Selfridge.
ReplyDeleteSx
Ms Scarlet: Sounds ideal. I imagine you in a gorgeous dress, dancing the night away.
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