Well, they might be observed a bit more if anyone could agree what "family values" actually are. The phrase is so vague that everyone gives it a different meaning. The dictionary definition refers to high moral standards and discipline, but other things might be mentioned like decency, loyalty, stability, clean living, and care and affection.
It was understood in the past that "family values" referred to a heterosexual couple, and didn't include gay couples, childless couples or single-parent households, who were beyond the pale. All possible family arrangements are now included in the term, and presumably are deemed capable of family values, whatever they might be.
Perhaps we should forget about "family values", however they're defined, and emphasise something more specific like "parenting values", which people might understand more easily. Or we could call for "civilised values", a term that would include everyone, whether or not they count as a family.
Unfortunately the term "family values" is flung about quite hypocritically by politicians and others. How often some politician who goes banging on about family values turns out to have a mistress, a drug habit, a sexual fetish or something that gives the lie to his (and it's usually his) sanctimonious public utterances. It happens so frequently that whenever a politician mentions family values nowadays, I instantly wonder what he's trying to hide.
"Family values" is just another phrase that's used as a handy smear, to suggest that your political opponents have no such values and are hedonistic rabble lacking moral standards or civilised behaviour.
Certainly Jenny and I never mention family values, which to my mind definitely implies children. But we still aspire to high moral standards.
High moral standards, discipline, decency, loyalty, stability, and clean living could equally be well be found in an individual or in any group of people, and thus are not exclusive to families specifically (care and affection are arguably more relevant to families). "Family values" is basically politician gobbledygook to sound virtuous without getting into specifics that might offend somebody.
ReplyDeleteIn the US, "family values" has long been understood as politician code for "anti-gay" specifically. This is so widely recognized that the phrase "family values" is actually hardly used here any more.
Infidel: Very true that those values could be found in anyone, not necessarily families. Interesting that in the States "family values" means anti-gay. And maybe also anti-single parents?
DeleteAnonymous Fly...in my book family values means taking responsibility for yourself and your children to give the latter the best chance in life.
ReplyDeleteFly: That's a good definition.
DeleteI like your concept of "civilized values". If we would all simply be more civil to one another the world would be a better place. You know: Do unto others...
ReplyDeleteLinda
Linda: "Civilised values" would also be an improvement on masculine values and all the associated violence.
DeleteFamily values are tossed about by the other political half to denegrate the other political half.
ReplyDeleteJoanne: Absolutely. Just another way of smearing the other side.
DeleteI'm pretty sure that "family values" is just code for "we will exclude and demonise anyone who isn't "saving themselves" or married, heterosexual, cis-gender et al
ReplyDeleteKylie: I'm sure a lot of people still think the only "real" family is a heterosexual one, even though other types of family are supposedly now welcomed.
DeleteWise Web Woman says "No idea what they mean and never did. I assumed it was a drenching in appalling imaginary sky gods condemning one's sexual bits.
ReplyDeleteThe most valuable word of all to me is "kindness" which can apply to everyone in their interactions. I frankly don't see much of it these days.
Happy New Year Nick 2024. I haven't been on line much due to over-familied season and no me-time."
XO
WWW
www: Yes, there's a big shortage of kindness these days, swamped by all the online vitriol and hatred. What they get out of all this persecution (quite often of people they've never even met) I can't imagine.
DeleteMaybe it should be changed to values. High moral standards, discipline, decency, loyalty, stability, and clean living as mentioned by earlier commenter. No need to include family since not everyone has one.
ReplyDeleteHi Paula. Yes, no need to mention families. As you say, not everyone has one. And it suggests that anyone without a family is somehow inferior.
DeleteMary says "Happy New Year."
ReplyDeleteMary: And a happy and exciting 2024 to you too.
DeleteFirst, a belated Welcome to 2024 which I hope will be a good one for you and Jenny (and all of us).
ReplyDeleteYou have raised a good point here, Nick, as always, and like yourself it seemed years ago to apply mainly to heterosexual couples and possibly still does with many folks. My personal opinion is that if a coupole (no matter what sexes) are happy together and raising a family (or not) then it is no one else's concern.