Because such things weren't talked about much when I was young, I was actually middle-aged before I realised that pregnancy was quite a complicated and perilous business.
For a long time I thought it was all very simple - you got pregnant and then nine months later out popped the baby. What was all the fuss about? Why were mothers always congratulated for doing something so routine?
It gradually dawned on me that pregnancy was in fact quite a trial. Every stage can be problematic. You can fail to conceive, fail to remain pregnant, fail to have a healthy diet or a healthy lifestyle. The baby can be premature, or defective, or harmed by medical mistakes, or suffer a cot death.
So if you manage to overcome all those hazards, congratulations are very much in order. Hardly a case of "out pops the baby". More a case of surviving a tough obstacle course against all the odds.
So I welcome the increasing trend to be more candid about pregnancy and all its difficulties. It means I'm much more aware of the ordeal women may be privately going through, however straightforward it may all seem from the outside.
I'm amazed that after all the problems of pregnancy, women don't always say "that was dreadful - never again" but are often willing to go through it several times to satisfy their burning desire for children. I can only admire their unflagging determination.
I'm very glad pregnancy is something that only happens to other people.
I wouldn't call it complicated and perilous. I mean, yes there are perils and complications but it's not universally that way.
ReplyDeleteHave you read the stories of women who didnt know they were pregnant until they were having a baby? It would be a shock but my point is that pregnancy and the majority of a labour can pass without drama....and funnily enough, those babies always seem to be born without the dramatic and life threatening complications everyone fears
Kylie: Yes, I've read about the women who didn't know they were pregnant. As you say, clearly no problems there. As usual, the media tend to emphasis the problematic births rather than the simple ones - like all the maternity failings at the Royal Shrewsbury Hospital.
DeleteMy late wife, her family and mine were all ecstatic when she discovered that she was pregnant. I saw her go through the whole experience with ease and even joy with all the attention that she was getting. The delivery went off well too and she became a hero all over again for having given two families a grand son. Her experience changed me and my relationship with her too.
ReplyDeleteRamana: Glad to hear everything went smoothly and that her child was so well received!
DeleteI had a beautiful pregnancy, but a "complicated labor and delivery." I only had the one child. I never wanted to go through that again. I've been judged harshly for speaking my truth and having an only child, but people will judge, won't they?
ReplyDeleteColette: Very understandable that after that experience you didn't want to go through it again. And why shouldn't you speak the truth, if that's how you feel?
Deletemy brother once spoke of a woman in a field in Viet Nam.
ReplyDeleteshe was working... using a hoe or something. suddenly she just squatted down and had a baby. she cleaned it off with a cloth she'd been wearing. she wrapped it up and arranged it so it was on her back! I didn't believe this but he swore that it was true. he said she went on hoeing in the field! he didn't talk a lot about the war. but I think that even shocked that young marine!
Tammy: Yes, I've heard quite a few times of women who just squat down in a field, have their baby and then carry on as if nothing much happened.
DeleteI have one kid for a reason. lol it was dreadful and I never did it again.
ReplyDeleteMary: Very sensible of you! I'm amazed that women who've had terrible experiences of childbirth are prepared to go through it all again.
DeleteIt’s a wonder any of us are here! Lol, I remember my mom’s horror stories and the crazy thing was, they knocked women out back then. I had all mine via natural childbirth and didn’t think it was that bad.
ReplyDeleteBijoux: That sounds like the "twilight sleep" custom that Kylie refers to - knocking women out so they don't have any memory of giving birth. Glad to hear your natural births went well.
DeleteMy first baby was easy peasy. Anyone can do that, I thought, and signed on for another. It was an awful pregnancy, delivery. The end.
ReplyDeleteJoanne: Sorry to hear that. But yes, pregnancies are unpredictable. They can be a doddle or they can be a miserable ordeal.
DeleteThat expression about popping a baby out drives me nuts. Childbirth was the most physically grueling thing I've ever done. But definitely worth the pain and difficulty. I happily signed on for a second and then ended up having an emergency C-section. Still worth it!
ReplyDeleteAgent: Long time no see! You must have been very keen for a second child to go through that ordeal a second time.
DeleteNever having gone through the experience even once, it would b difficult to comment on either the joy or hardship. Thankfully, for all of us posting and commenting here, our mothers went through the birthing experience.
ReplyDeleteBeatrice: Indeed they did. It's odd to think I might never have existed if my parents had never met.
DeleteMy first birthing was an endurance test for me because it was induced, then I learned that was because the Dr. was going on vacation. The second birthing I wanted to be natural if all was going well. Despite a slight wrinkle with ny needing to briefly delay it was a wonderful experience. In both instances I had no screaming and hollering as I heard coming from another room from some woman and often seen in movie portrayals. No doubt other women may have a different experience than my own so I’m not making a critical judgement.
ReplyDeleteJoared: Looks like you had a quite positive experience with your two births. Glad to hear there was no screaming and hollering!
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