My natural tendency is to withdraw from competitive situations and let other people (usually male) slug it out to the bitter end. I just watch the manoeuvrings with a detached amusement, with no desire whatever to join in.
When I was working, I never competed with my workmates to get promotion or a higher salary or some prestigious assignment, simply to trounce someone else. I wasn't looking for grand job titles, impressive offices or company cars. I just did my job and enjoyed it.
In just about every political meeting I've been to, there have been a bunch of males yakking away, out to prove they're right and the rest of us are sadly mistaken. I never take part. I'm happy to have opinions without them having to be publicly applauded.
I've never sought the grandest house, the flashiest car, the fattest salary, the most glamorous wife, or any of those clichéd status symbols that other people run after, just to dazzle their friends and neighbours. I was quite happy with my 16 year old Clio, which got me reliably from A to B.
I remember one day at boarding school when I was competing in a long distance running race. About half way through I was trailing badly behind the leaders. I could have either forced myself into a winning spurt, or admitted defeat and dropped out. I dropped out, and never regretted it.
Apart from anything else, competing endlessly with other people must be exhausting. I prefer a more leisurely existence. I've no need to drink someone else under the table, just to prove something or other.
I was very competitive, mainly to earn a more equal income in a world that was then set against any woman trying to get ahead and get herself and children out of poverty. It was exhausting.
ReplyDeleteI guess that's what formed me career wise. I have never been envious of others though. I think both things are quite different.
I don't give a shyte about your status or your car or your Nigel. Or your opinions. I have my own and if you ask then we can have a good chinwag.
XO
WWW
www: I can imagine in those circumstances you would be competitive. And I'm sure it was exhausting. Yes, envy might give rise to competitiveness but it's something quite different.
DeleteI wasn't competitive either. I just happened to be in the right places at the right times with the right people and things happened to me. I simply floated along and am now a contented man.
ReplyDeleteRamana: That's my story too, being in the right places at the right times. I drifted into one thing after another and enjoyed myself immensely.
DeleteI've never been competative either.
ReplyDeleteMary: I kind of guessed you wouldn't be!
DeleteWell, I do like to win at Scrabble!
ReplyDeleteBijoux: I'm not even competitive at Scrabble. When Jenny wins, she expects me to be down in the dumps, but I don't mind at all. Scrabble's mostly luck anyway - whether you get good or bad sets of letters.
DeleteLike you more often than not when the testosterone surfaces I back off
ReplyDeleteJohn: It's not just testosterone. Men are encouraged from an early age to hold forth and pontificate. Luckily I never succumbed to that particular trait.
DeleteWhen sitting down to play a game with friends I once said I enjoyed the game enough that I didn't care if we kept score. One friend then wondered, "How do you know who won?" I have since realized I did because I had more fun without the stress of needing to win.
ReplyDeleteLinda: As far as Scrabble is concerned, I get my fun from always trying to raise my score. I'm chuffed if I get anything over 300. I guess I just like to better my previous showing.
DeleteI've always been motivated and proactive, but not interested in chasing after other people's goals. It's been a fun, rewarding trip.
ReplyDeleteJean: Yes, I think you've always had your own personal goals which you pursue in your own way.
DeleteI'm not very bothered about other people's agendas...unless they cross mine.
ReplyDeleteFly: Other people's agendas may suit them, but they don't necessarily suit me.
DeleteI don't like competition either. and in the latest decades it seems to have reached a fevered pitch. no thanks! "just leave me alone and win all you want to!"
ReplyDeleteyup. agree completely Nick. :D xo
Tammy: I agree, people seem to be more competitive than ever. Especially on social media where everyone and their donkey has to be right!
DeleteOn the whole, I ignore everyone else and simply carry on.
ReplyDeleteJoanne: Very wise. You always strike me as a staunchly independent person, totally uninterested in trend-following.
DeleteWant a medal?
ReplyDeleteU
Ursula: Ooh, yes please. But what for exactly? For longstanding service to the non-competitive community?
DeleteI don't know, Nick. I am not particularly competitive either. Though maybe in a different way to you. I fucking let people WIN. On purpose. Though not children. Children know when you cheat. What sort of victory is that when someone lets you win? Adults? Adults don't care about ethics, morals. They want to win in the eyes of the world. Regardless. I can't tell you the number of times I have let one of my sisters be the first (when, by rights, she wasn't). Letting her have the prize, indeed the praise, was worth my effort not having to suffer her sulking for the rest of the day.
DeleteU
Ursula: "Adults don't care about ethics, morals. They want to win in the eyes of the world." Very true. The current government is a splendid example.
DeleteJenny and I don't need to fake losing, as we're pretty evenly matched (I'm referring to chess and Scrabble).
I'd like to think I don't either - but I do. Just watch me at a game of Articulate or trivia. But if I lose I don't care.
ReplyDeleteLiz: Good that you don't care if you lose. It's only a game after all, it's not an audition.
DeleteIt would be nice if more people were like that. I was just thinking that the desire to outdo other people is one of the worst things for our planet - let alone anything else!
ReplyDeleteJenny: You're right. That's one reason why people buy more than they need and produce so much waste.
DeleteWe used to have a rescued racing greyhound named Jack. We got his race records and the last two races it showed that he'd refused to finish. I so admired that. Like you, I'm just not a competitive person. I'm content to be good enough.
ReplyDeleteAgent: Jack had the right idea! Yes, "good enough" is fine by me. I'll leave others to race after perfection.
DeleteIndeed, sometimes it's a win to let the other person win rather than face the hassle, sulking etc, if they lose.
ReplyDeleteSx