Thursday 7 November 2019

Addiction free

I may have 101 idiotic neuroses, from dislike of darkness to social anxiety and imposter syndrome, but one thing I'm thankful for is not having an addictive personality. Something I've inherited I guess, as I can't think of any other family member who has (or had) any addictions. Well, apart from my father's 10-a-day fag habit (which he gave up instantly after having a stroke at the age of 55). And apart from my mother's persistent hoarding.

It's simple enough to get addicted to something, after all. Casual enjoyment can very quickly turn into a raging compulsion. And goodness knows, there are plenty of addictions to choose from - tobacco, alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, shopping, the internet, OCD, fast food, chocolate, sugary drinks, hoarding, the list is endless.

I've always found it easy to stop doing something when it gets to the threshold of addiction. I just tell myself "Okay, that's enough" and I stop. I have two glasses of wine and that's it. I shop for the clothes I need and that's it. I eat a chocolate or two and that's it.

It's not that I'm terrified of getting addicted. It's not that I've had to deal with someone's chronic addiction. I just know when to stop before something enjoyable becomes something compulsive, an urge I can't resist. Maybe I have a strong sense of self-preservation that stops me doing something obviously self-destructive. Whatever.

I just don't understand addiction, because I've never been addicted. My mother was a relentless hoarder, and I despaired at the mountains of junk in her flat. But I hadn't a clue why she felt the need to hoard. I know lots of people who drink far too much and I don't understand that either. Though I can imagine the pain and distress of knowing you're addicted to something and desperately wanting to get it under control.

"Just say no" isn't as simple as it seems.

28 comments:

  1. I was addicted to smoking for 55 years and though I quit five years ago, I am paying the price for quitting too late with COPD. I also enjoyed my alcohol every day till twenty years ago when I quit to pursue matters spiritual of a different type. I am now addicted to my crossword puzzles, WhatsApp and Twitter.

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    1. Ramana: I don't think those present-day addictions will cause you any harm!

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  2. I feel fortunate that I have impulse control and no addiction issues that I'm aware of in extended family. Even benign things, like having a bag of Halloween candy in the house doesn't tempt me to open it.

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    1. Bijoux: Me too. Even if there's a huge box of chocolates in the house, I never have more than a couple. That's quite enough to satisfy me.

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  3. I am addictec to reading...I really feel anxious if I don't have a book to hand. Goodness only knows where that came from...

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    1. Fly: I'm not addicted to reading, but I always like to have a book on the go. If I don't have another book ready and waiting, I do get a bit anxious!

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    2. Me. too. I think it's because reading takes me away from whatever feels uncomfortable to me. A safe way of sublimating our feelings than most addictive behaviors.

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    3. Linda: That's true, reading distracts us from things that are uncomfortable, and harmlessly diverts our emotions.

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  4. I am addicted to everything just about. Except gambling for some odd reason. I don't have any brakes like others seem to have. Some have faded because of age but I observe it in myself as I madly knit socks now to the detriment of other parts of my life like paid editing jobs. Understanding the nature of the beast doesn't cure it but being with other addicts helps immeasurably.

    And only other addicts understand this: I am glad I is one.

    XO
    WWW

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    1. www: It doesn't sound like you're addicted to sock-knitting, just that you can get a bit carried away and continue for longer than you intended.

      "I am glad I is one"? No, I don't understand!

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    2. I'm glad I'm an addict.

      XO
      WWW

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  5. OCD is an addiction? That's news to me. I'm a lifelong sufferer of it, myself.

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    1. Jennifer: It seems to me that it's an addiction, because it's something you keep doing even though you know its irrational and life-disrupting. But maybe I'm missing something?

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    2. It's an anxiety disorder related to brain chemical imbalances. It also has a strong genetic component...I inherited it from my father. It's not an addiction.

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    3. Jennifer: Fair enough, I'll go along with that.

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  6. I had/have 3 close family members who had the alcoholic addiction gene. Only one is still alive, and her life is sad and filled with anger and resentments. I'm very thankful I didn't get that genetic propensity, and I am sorry they did.

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    1. Colette: I'm sorry to hear that, three alcoholics in one family is tragic. You were lucky not to go the same way.

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  7. You are very lucky
    I am the son of an alcoholic
    Not fun

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    1. John: I once had a bedsit and the upstairs tenant was a long-time alcoholic. She was always irascible and brusque and I did my best to avoid her. I certainly didn't have the expertise necessary to try and help her.

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  8. I'm so glad I have never succumbed to addiction. I used to smoke but was never addicted to it and easily gave it up. I can take or leave alcohol, and decades ago I smoked small amounts of marijuana. The one thing I could not give up is chocolate, I adore it but I eat it in moderation. I don't know if that qualifies as addiction.

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    1. Polly: Sounds like you're similar to me, you can always stop doing something at the danger point. I also love chocolate, but in small doses.

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  9. Hoarding is something that often comes with age. I think it is inherited and runs in my family. I have to keep reminding myself not to do it, because it really is rather depressing. Time for a clear out - that's reminded me! ☺

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    1. Jenny: A lot of my mum's hoarding stemmed from impulse buying. She would go into a charity shop, come out with a bit of clothing she fancied, then stuff it in her wardrobe and forget all about it.

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  10. People addicted think it is not a problem, or they can stop if it becomes a problem. But it is a problem and they cannot stop, and that is the sad truth of addiction. Addiction runs in my family, and is sad to watch.

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    1. Joanne: I'm sorry to hear addiction runs in the family. As you say, a lot of people think they can stop whenever they want, only to discover too late that they can't.

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  11. you sound very much like my brother Nick. if you read the Peanut I always called him The Marine. he is amazing. he has such discipline! I mean about everything. it's a good thing I don't seem to have an addictive personality because my self discipline is NIL! actually I am addictive to salt. YES! salty crisps and popcorn and whatever. if I go many days without it I crave it. "you can't eat just one" (potato chip!) did you all have that ad years ago?
    and funny... my husband's addiction was cigarettes. he just loved to smoke. until they told him he was dying of cancer. he quit and never smoked another. too little too late! they always think it won't get them.

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    1. Tammy: I looked up "you can't eat just one". It was a slogan used by Lay's potato chips in the US. We don't have Lay's in the UK, but we do have Pringles.

      That's sad about your husband and his cigarette addiction. Yes, as you say, people tend to think they'll be the lucky ones who get away with it.

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  12. Some of those things on your list aren't actually addictions. OCD definitely isn't. Or hoarding. They are problematic, but not addictions. Addiction certainly runs in my family, on both sides, so I stay mindful of that risk. But I think I'm wired to have a fairly easy time staying moderate about most things.

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