Smooth and hairless

We aren’t supposed to talk about body hair. Either you have it or you haven’t and that’s that. You might have problems with it but nobody wants to know about that.
 
Fair enough for blokes because we’re allowed to have as much body hair as we want, including beards and moustaches. Some men would even say the hairier the better. But other men like to remove their body hair and that’s fine as well.
 
Very different for women, who’re expected to have no body hair whatever and keep themselves permanently smooth and hairless. So they have to spend time waxing and shaving and plucking and electrolysing until they’re as smooth as a baby’s bottom.
 
But I’ve known several women who complained frequently that they had prolific body hair and it drove them mad trying to get rid of it all. They would wear clothes that completely covered their body and hid the offending hair.
 
Why can’t we just decide for ourselves what to do with our body hair? Either leave it as it is or remove it all, as we wish?
 
Personally I have very little body hair so it doesn’t bother me. But if I was one of those heavily hirsute males I’d definitely want to get rid of it all. It might be hugely laborious but the truth is I would want to be as smooth as a baby’s bottom.

Grooming fever

Apparently men's grooming is booming. Male beauty products are more and more popular, along with visits to beauty salons. Things like moisturisers are now seen as essentials rather than luxuries, and men are primping and preening like never before. Or so we're told.

Well, I wouldn't know if it's true or not. The men of my acquaintance aren't in the habit of confiding their beautifying regimes, if they have any. I have no idea if they merely rinse their face and comb their hair or if they spend hours moisturising, waxing, concealing their eye-bags or changing their hair-colour.

I suspect younger men are keener on grooming and looking good than older men, who're more likely to say, What the hell, people should accept me the way I am, and if they don't like it, tough. Older men with beer bellies, hairy nostrils and comb-overs are still all too common. But who knows in what unexpected places this sudden focus on personal appearance is taking root?

Personally I've always been a minimal groomer. I wash and I shower and I try to look presentable and that's about it. Oh, and I moisturise my inflammation-prone forehead. And I had some laser treatment to reduce my facial hair as I didn't like the permanent five o'clock shadow.

I've never been tempted to do anything else. I'm not bothered by my eye-bags, I still have plenty of hair (which isn't yet grey), I'm too lazy to purge any of my body hair, I don't care for perfume, and there's nothing else that needs moisturising. So I'm a bit of a dead loss to the beauty industry. I prefer to spend my cash on books, music, wine and good food.

So you won't find me semi-naked on a beauty salon couch any time soon. I'm more likely to be scanning the shelves at Waterstones for some tantalising prose.