It's funny how awkward it still is to ask someone why they don't have children. I always imagine, rightly or wrongly, that they're going to be offended, or sheepish, or distressed. I assume there might be very sensitive personal issues they don't want to reveal.I don't mind people asking about my own childless state, in fact I explained it in detail in a very early post, but other people aren't necessarily so ready to blurt out their reasons in a society that still places such a high value on childrearing.
I know quite a few childless people but I have no idea why they're childless and I've never dared to ask. I could easily be opening a huge can of worms that would have been better not opened.
Couples may have had serious quarrels about the subject. One may be keen on a large family while the other has no wish for children whatever. One may be sterile and incapable of creating a child, causing resentment and frustration in the other. Or they may have been trying artificial insemination without success.
Someone may have had such a dreadful childhood (abuse, neglect, bullying) that they fear reproducing the same behaviour with their own children. Maybe they don't want to bring a child into what they see as a rotten and corrupt world. Maybe they just have no confidence in their parenting skills.
Whatever the reason, it's often something people feel inadequate about and they want to keep it to themselves rather than divulge it to others. They don't want to risk censorious and thoughtless comments by those secure in their own child-endowed existence and parenting abilities.
So I tread very warily on the absence of tiny feet. I don't want to wade into what might be longstanding personal anguish or disappointment. It's no concern of mine anyway why people don't have children, it's entirely their own business. I would only be enquiring out of idle curiosity. It's better to stay silent.
