I'll let you in on a secret. Although, as you know, I'm a conspicuous oddball guaranteed to have quirky opinions on just about everything, there's a little part of me that hankers to be 100 per cent normal and conventional.I'm quite used to being different. I've been out on a limb my entire life. I've never fitted easily into any familiar category - the tough guy or the doting father or the sex maniac or the sports fan. I have a natural tendency to veer off down a side street, leaving everyone else behind.
But I'm never entirely comfortable with my maverick mind, partly because I come from an extremely conservative family where unorthodox opinions were always regarded with suspicion and bemusement. I still sometimes wonder if my opinions are genuinely held or whether I assume them just to be the fly in the ointment or the devil's advocate.
So there are times when I think life would be a lot smoother, and my relationships with other people a lot easier, if I were as normal as fish and chips and as easy to understand as Mr Average. Or even Ms Average.
I wouldn't have to exhaust myself trying to explain why I'm a vegetarian or a socialist or a Buddhist or why I'm masculinity-phobic. I could happily trot out my mainstream, run-of-the-mill opinions and people's eyes would light up with eager recognition.
Of course I know it's not as simple as that. I know that in reality there's no such thing as Mr Average or a "normal" opinion and that other people can feel out on a limb as often as I do, even if they seem utterly conventional. But it doesn't stop me, in moments of desperation, trying on the clothes of Mr Regular Guy. And thinking they might even fit.
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Eeek! Jenny is still stuck at York trying to get back to Belfast, grounded for a fourth day by the volcanic ash from Iceland. Her trip to Barcelona has been cancelled. The ferries are now booked solid. How will she get home? Watch for the next gripping instalment....
