Swept away

It really annoys me when people look down their noses at someone who's got into some horrible mess and declare that it's all their own fault and they should have known better.

They stubbornly believe that the reason they've never stumbled into the same sort of mess themselves is their own superior character - their innate common sense, self-discipline, intelligence, or whatever.

They're too blinkered and obtuse to realise that we're all capable of screwing up our lives if the circumstances allow it, and that what brings it about isn't wilful irresponsibility but some personal weakness we're simply unable to resist.

If they haven't succumbed to such a weakness, it's not because they're inherently superior but because they've just been lucky enough not to land up in a situation that exposes that weakness and triggers it off.

People who have disastrous affairs, or go broke, or get themselves sacked, or are caught shoplifting, aren't merely "lacking in self-control". They've been so smoothly tempted or charmed or beguiled or persuaded into something risky that they're simply helpless to resist, despite their better judgment, despite their gut-feelings, despite everything. They just find themselves swept away and powerless to do anything about it.

Whatever we may think, we could all find ourselves on that slippery slope. There are plenty of stories of people who thought their lives were going fine, that they were sitting pretty, and a few months later everything's in ruins.

The sight of people crowing and gloating over other people's unexpected misfortunes is something I find quite sickening.

Lucking out

As I get older, I'm constantly amazed and relieved at all the disasters and misfortunes I've somehow managed to avoid, despite all my personal failings and extreme scattiness.

While others have been plagued by huge debts, nasty illnesses, homelessness or chronic addictions, I've been lucky enough to get through life without any serious burdens dragging me down.

I'm not an addictive personality, so I've never succumbed to over-indulgence in drugs, alcohol, pornography, gambling or dieting. I'm naturally inclined to moderation in all things, some would say excessively so to the extent that I'm too guarded and never let go enough.

I've always had a horror of debt, so I keep a close eye on what I'm spending. I'm convinced that I only have to be in hock to the tune of a few hundred pounds and this'll trigger off a breakneck slippage to the sort of eye-watering debts you read about in the papers.

I've managed to hold on to my home, even when jobless or earning a pittance. Of course in my younger days I made do with seedy bedsits hardly big enough to swing a cat and the rents were correspondingly modest. And it helps if you have someone else to chip in with a hefty mortgage.

Grisly illnesses have so far passed me by, despite my sister having MND and my father having a stroke at 55. Being a vegetarian with a fairly healthy lifestyle must reduce the risk but only up to a point. I've never been in a serious car crash or done a hazardous job. I missed the Kings Cross station inferno in 1987 by a matter of minutes.

How come I'm not labouring under some colossal mishap? How come I'm not in jail or in a street doorway or in a rehab centre? It could easily have happened if my life had taken a different route. There but for the grace of God go I.