The eggs have it

On Thursday in a rare referendum, UK voters will be asked if they want to change the existing voting system for MPs. The resounding NO that's being currently predicted is doubtless due to a serious image problem.

The choice is between First Past The Post (FPTP) and the Alternative Vote (AV). Unfortunately these conjure up very different pictures.

First Past The Post suggests an amusingly amateurish egg and spoon race, in which the gorgeous Tessa, 17½, crosses the finishing line first amid cries of "Hip Hip Hooray, it's Tessa's Day!" There's a smile on everyone's face as they congratulate Tessa and tuck into jam scones and a nice cup of tea.

AV on the other hand suggests a horrible disease, linked to some grim industrial compound, involving a long lingering death in which appalling pain is unrelieved by massive cocktails of powerful drugs, and the victim dies in agony cursing human existence, God and voting systems.

Those valiant souls trying desperately to sell AV to a suspicious public are up against this unappetising image and are having an uphill struggle to convert people from the status quo. They're quite happy with the egg and spoon race and the glorious Tessa, so why would they want a nasty disease instead?

Sad really, because AV makes a lot of sense. If the first count doesn't produce a winner with a majority of the total votes cast, people's second preferences are added in until someone gets a majority.

Under First Past The Post, you can win straight off with a minority of the vote, even if a majority of voters would prefer someone else. How can that be fair?

Wheels within wheels

As a dyed-in-the wool socialist, I'm dismayed by the new Tory government and even more dismayed that the Lib Dems have jumped into bed with them.

The last Tory government, dominated by Margaret Thatcher, led to massive unemployment, the rapid decline of manufacturing industry, the fettering of trade unions, a worsening of working conditions, a growing split between rich and poor, and crumbling public services.

Unfortunately the Labour government, which came to power pledging to reverse all those trends, ended up continuing them and in some cases accelerating them. They also brought social mobility to a halt. This is the main reason why Labour did so badly in the election, despite widespread distrust of the Tories.

But the Lib Dems' gung-ho love-in with the supposedly new-look Conservatives and supposedly egalitarian David Cameron is really extraordinary. This is the party that painted itself as well to the left of Labour and wanting a clean break from the two "old parties" stuck in out-of-date thinking. And now here they are hand-in-hand strolling to the altar as if this is a marriage made in heaven and a new age of enlightenment is upon us.

Are they more perceptive than we realise, or are they hopelessly naive about the cosmetically-enhanced Tories who've just been hiding all their elitist diehards while they pile up the votes? I suspect the latter, and I also suspect the Lib Dems will get a nasty shock when the Tories start stealthily reverting to their old attitudes, kicking the Lib Dems out of the way, and ignoring the poor and vulnerable just as they were doing 13 years ago.

This is an excellent analysis of the prospects for the coalition

Voting fraud

There is serious concern that some of Thursday's election results could be affected by voting fraud. Police are investigat-ing over 50 complaints of irregularities including many suspicious postal votes.

In two highly marginal East London seats, thousands of requests for postal votes arrived too late to check if they are genuine or not.

In some cases, amazingly high numbers of voters are supposedly living in tiny flats only suitable for a small family. An Independent journalist looking into the fraud claims was viciously beaten up by local teenagers in Bow, East London. Police have questioned three Labour candidates about the claims.

There were numerous fraud inquiries in the previous general election, some of which led to convictions.

Postal votes are especially vulnerable to abuse as it's difficult to check both the voter's identity and the validity of the vote cast.

There have been many instances of postal votes being sent via political parties which can register a phoney vote for their own party. There are also cases of confused elderly people being tricked into voting for a party they don't support.

The whole postal vote system needs a thorough overhaul to prevent wholesale deception, particularly when the sudden popularity of the Liberal Democrats means that in this election many more seats are likely to change hands.

I predict a big increase in fraud investigations after the election, as candidates up and down the country cheated of victory query the results and suspect something fishy. A once highly-respected voting system is unfortunately being corrupted and not enough is being done to prevent the corruption.
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And today's poser: What are rumbledethumps? (a) a small Australian shrub (b) a poor-sighted American rodent (c) a Scottish delicacy

Asking the voters

I do sometimes wonder about the intelligence levels of the Great British Public, especially during an election campaign*. Asked for their opinion on the different offerings, the best they can come up with is "Well, they're all the same really, aren't they?" or "I like that Mr Clegg, he's got an honest face."

Of course if someone's jumped on in the street by a journo as they're off to the supermarket, they don't have time to think carefully about the questions they're asked. Even so, you assume they'd have some considered views about how the country's governed and how the politicians deal with such basic things as poverty and unemployment.

I'm always waiting for someone to say "Well, anyone earning under £10,000 shouldn't have to pay tax" or "If everyone worked part-time, there'd be more jobs." Or something that actually amounts to an interesting idea rather than a vacuous comment.

But no, it's like trying to get blood out of a stone. An alarming number of people give the impression their political awareness goes no farther than whether their wheelie bin's been emptied. No wonder the MPs managed to get away with such rampant expenses-fiddling for so long.

It may be that in private people are more intelligent than they seem in public. Maybe in their own houses they wax eloquent on the finer points of asylum-seeking or maternity benefits or medical treatment, but outside they keep their trenchant views to themselves.

Mind you, when so many politicians are habitually evasive and dishonest about their intentions, and seldom tell you the truth about anything, whether it's the cost of nuclear missiles or their receding hairlines, it's not surprising if people are too sickened to take more interest in politics and form mature opinions about the issues.

Sometimes I have to sympathise with those who can't switch off the party political broadcasts fast enough in favour of something more life-enhancing like a box of chocolates or a blast of Lady Gaga.

*The UK general election is on May 6. The three biggest parties are Labour, Conservative and Liberal Democrat. Right now they are equally popular and the result could be a hung parliament. One or two Green MPs may be elected for the first time.