Mealy mouthed

Apparently the English are renowned abroad for not saying what they really mean and coming up with something that hides their true feelings. I love those charts that explain what foreigners think we mean as opposed to what we actually mean. For example:

• "I was disappointed" (I was absolutely furious)
• "I hear what you say" (I totally disagree)
• "With the greatest respect (You're an idiot)
• "That's an interesting proposal" (It can't possibly work)
• "I'll bear it in mind" (But do nothing about it)
• "You must come to dinner sometime" (It would be a nightmare)
• "It's fine" (It can't possibly get any worse)
• "There's a slight problem" (This is a disaster)
• "It really doesn't matter" (That was incredibly offensive)
• "It's not ideal" (It's totally inappropriate)

Well, you get the idea. I gather Americans are more direct, and more likely to say exactly what they think, whatever the reaction might be. They don't understand all this English subterfuge.

I must admit to falling into this trap myself. I'm not brave enough to say to someone "That was a really boring evening and I'm not going to repeat it." I'm more likely to say "That was fun. We must do that again sometime", meaning the exact opposite.

The English custom is to be elaborately polite even in the most dire circumstances, and never to say anything blatantly rude. One must avoid confrontation at all costs and keep the atmosphere calm and comfortable.

I admit to finding any sort of confrontation quite agonising, and I go to extreme lengths to avoid it. I wouldn't have been much good as a police officer or a politician or a debt collector.

But maybe the English have the right idea. Maybe skirting round a delicate issue is better than picking a fight.