I'm just putting the finishing touches on the best blog post ever, the post that'll go down in history. It will feature the following:1) identical twins
2) an unexplained murder
3) a stunning transsexual
4) jokes so funny you'll wet yourself
5) endearing furry animals
(Sobs uncontrollably) 6) chocolate cakes
7) a strange ticking noise
Oh, fuckity fuck, I've just pressed Delete by mistake. The entire post has gone down the swanee. I can't believe it. I'm devastated.8) a missed appointment
9) an unopened letter
You may think that you've read this post already, that you know exactly what happens to the identical twins and why they had to leave their rented flat so hastily on the night of March 20th. You may imagine you can easily explain the padlocked cellar door in the shy transsexual's suburban semi, and why she has a horror of artichokes. But you'd be wrong. This is a brand-new post, fresh as the morning dew, fresh as fairy dust. Never before has such....10) a bottle of perfume
But there are a few loose ends that need to be tied up first. Did the heroine miss the appointment because of the unopened letter? Why was there a bottle of perfume in the corpse's hand? Will the furry animals need feeding? Why are the identical twins both called Sheila? What is the meaning of life?
Once I've sorted out those little details, we'll be up and running.
