Apparently increasing numbers of men neurotic about their appearance are clamouring for secret shapewear to give them a trimmer, sharper figure.In particular they want something to flatten their expanding bellies so they don't have to keep sucking them in to impress the ladies.
Quite a few companies already offer special flab-controlling garments for men and now even Spanx is introducing a range of male shapewear - including a high-power T shirt that can shrink your waist and belly by several inches.
Men who've tried them seem surprisingly matter-of-fact about submitting to the same squeeze and squash regime women have been putting up with for centuries.
What's up with these guys? Are they really so alarmingly vain, so mortified by a few unwanted inches that they're prepared to join their womenfolk and spend all day in flesh-constricting garments?
If their increasing girth really disgusts them so much, wouldn't eating and boozing less be more natural than elasticated discomfort?
I can't see their partners being too keen either. If there's anything guaranteed to kill sexual passion stone dead, it's the sight of heavy-duty, keep-it-all-hidden underwear.
I'm glad my own belly is small enough that I don't have to consider such drastic options. I don't need to wrestle with anything trickier than a pair of knickers.
At this rate women will soon be as confused as men when it comes to the real-or-fake question. Is that belly genuinely flat? Is that bum genuinely compact? What exactly will be revealed as Mr Slimline sheds his outer layers? A lot of women could be as disappointed as men when the Wonderbra is slipped off.
So no devious shapewear for me. What you see is what you get.
Spanx? No thanks.
