The cliché (and the research) has it that people mellow as they get older, but I haven’t seen much evidence of it. I can think of many older people who if anything have become more acerbic.
Politicians especially can get less mellow and double down on their entrenched opinions rather than modify them. But lots of public figures are equally hard-line, not to mention one’s own elderly relatives who often become more vituperative rather than less.
Certainly my father got less mellow rather than more. He
would fume and rage for days over all sorts of things. My mother on the other
hand tended to be naturally mellow and take everything in her stride.
I think I’ve got mellower as I’ve aged. I don’t get so
worked up over global events or neighbourhood disputes or difficult individuals
as I used to. I tend to shrug my shoulders and leave others to make a fuss.
But I’ve always been somewhat mellow. Even when I was at
school I never aligned myself with the boys who enjoyed making fun of their
schoolmates or taunting the masters. I always felt for the victims and stayed
well out of it.
The world could certainly do with a lot more mellowness and
a lot less belligerence.
Dave's mother was very judgmental. Until she developed Alzheimer's. Then she became amazingly loving. I'm still astonished at the change in her even many years after she died.
ReplyDeleteLinda
Linda: I gather it's common for people's personalities to change dramatically under the influence of Alzheimer's.
DeleteI've mellowed. Not sure that that's a good thing in my case. Being a bit cross used to fuel creativity - I've been a lot less creative over the past few years.
ReplyDeleteSx
Ms Scarlet: I look forward to revived creativity and a brand-new blog post!
DeleteI had a famously sharp uncle who mellowed considerably but yes, there's a reason for the cliche of the bitter old person. People lose inhibitions and say the things they probably always thought
ReplyDeleteKylie: Yes, I think that loss of inhibition is quite common. It certainly was in my father's case.
DeleteI have mellowed. I was a very intense person for most of my adult life. I still am to an extent, but much less so. My mother lost her filter as she aged, which allowed the meanness to spill out openly. I have found it common for the filter to drop as people age.
ReplyDeleteSandra: I hope I don't drop my filter and become a mean old curmudgeon.
DeleteMy father mellowed too. I was glad of it too
ReplyDeleteJohn: It must have been a relief when he became a bit more sanguine.
DeleteNow I want to hear Donovan singing "Mellow Yellow!"
ReplyDeleteColette: I'm just mad about Saffron....
DeleteSome people are just very angry as they get older. One of my brothers is like that. Some like myself, I think I have mellowed with age and don't get upset from all the drama. I just remove myself from the drama to keep my peace.
ReplyDeleteMary: About half the population seems to be in a steaming rage these days. I wish everyone would calm down a bit. I also tend to remove myself from unnecessary drama.
DeleteI think I've grown more mellow, but probably because I've realized you can't change people. Live and let live!
ReplyDeleteBijoux: Good point. It took me a while to realise that on the whole I couldn't change people's opinions.
DeleteNick, I am and also was very mellow person except for political opinions and statements. I can battle without any limit. Most of the time Saïd bursts out in laughter when I start to argue. Some friends see it as a performance. It's quite
ReplyDeletefunny.
Hannah
Hannah: I avoid political battles because people don't usually change their minds, they're firmly entrenched in their opinions and unwilling to give them up.
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