I keep thinking people will become more relaxed about what is perfectly harmless behaviour, but that doesn't seem to be the case.
What am I talking about? A long list of things. Breastfeeding in public. Kissing in public. Skimpy female clothing. Visible cleavage. Bra-less breasts. Naked male chests. Nudity on TV. The word vagina. Politicians having affairs. Older people's sex lives. Photos of women with stretch marks, scars or mastectomies.
There's still a huge tacit understanding about what is and what isn't allowed, and one step over the boundary can unleash a barely-concealed puritanism.
What the complaints usually amount to is a supposed flouting of "decency" (or sometimes public decency). But decency is such a vague concept it's almost meaningless.
Given my enthusiasm for kissing and hugging in public, I'm surprised nobody has ticked me off. But we in Northern Ireland are very keen to show public affection, even to people we've only just met. It's a delightful custom.
So long as these activities are harmless, then all well and good. I'd never force my breasts on anyone though.
ReplyDeleteSx
Ms Scarlet: But would breastfeeding in public count as forcing your breasts on someone?
DeleteNo, that's not what I meant 😊
DeleteSx
Ms Scarlet: I wasn't sure what you meant.
DeleteI think you might mean women who deliberately flaunt their breasts.
DeleteMy only issue is if the purpose behind it is to garner attention. Then it just irritates me.
ReplyDeleteBijoux: I guess most sex/nudity complaints are designed to get attention. Otherwise why bother to make a big fuss about something harmless?
DeleteActually, I meant if the people involved in the things you mentioned were doing it for attention (wearing skimpy clothing, going braless, etc.). That's what I don't like.
DeleteBijoux: I see what you mean.
DeleteMuch of this is directed at women. There was a time a pregnant woman was not to be seen in public. Probably because it is a visible sign of what happened to clear the pregnancy. I think people are far more tolerant of a shirtless male than of a women showing cleavage, never mind breast feeding in public. Oh, the disgrace!
ReplyDeleteSandra: As you say, a lot of these complaints are aimed at women. Men aren't so much the targets. And sadly it's often women criticising women.
DeleteI find most bras to be as uncomfortable as high heels. Fortunately, I did find one style I wear when going out in public but I take it off as soon as I get home. Who decided women should be uncomfortable in order to not offend others?
ReplyDeleteLinda
Linda: I remember a period - maybe in the seventies - when a lot of feminists stopped wearing bras. Unfortunately they had to go back to them because of the predictable unwanted male attention. And yes, why should women have to wear uncomfortable and impractical clothes just to please others (usually men). One brave London woman campaigned for a ban on high heels in the workplace, but she didn't get enough support.
DeleteTell me about it, I’ve just repeated an old post from 7 years ago which featured a Vagina …bloody hell the up roar
ReplyDeleteJohn: I've just read your post, and like you I can't understand why it should cause any fuss. Vaginas and rubber vaginas are a fact of life, why should they be a problem?
DeleteNick,
ReplyDeletea naked male chest in town and often with a big belly make me change the direction .
I hate it . Breastfeeding is ok but not in a restaurant. We once had a breastfeeding woman at the next table, the baby making such a noise , the mother feeding on both breasts, really it was annoying. I think breastfeeding is such an intimate connection between .mother and child and would be more convenient in a quiet place.
Hannah
Adults eat in restaurants, why wouldn't babies?
DeleteHannah: What Kylie says. Though if a baby is making a lot of noise and disturbing other diners, I guess the mother should be quietening the baby down or taking it home.
DeleteI find it fascinating that where a man's bare chest was once acceptable, it seems less so now. My daughters are always horrified by a shirtless man but to me it's normal.
ReplyDeleteSo, I think we can say it's becoming a more even set of expectations.
Kylie: Is that an Australian thing? I don't hear any objections to bare male chests over here. Not that there's much opportunity for bare chests in the Northern Ireland rain and cold.
Delete