While some people remember the bad things very clearly and nurse extreme grudges for years on end, I seldom remember the bad things for long enough for a grudge to take root.
I'm sure there are many occasions on which people have insulted me or rejected me or belittled me or done me out of something, but they rapidly vanish from my memory and are mere water under the bridge.
I'll remember the enjoyable parts of a holiday, but the negative things - the disappointing hotel rooms or the flight delays or the dreadful weather - just fade away as if they never happened.
I only remember the bad things if they're especially bad and especially memorable, like the mattress in our San Francisco hotel that was the creakiest mattress we've ever encountered, or the food poisoning I had on a flight to Australia.
It means I can look back on my life and think it has generally gone well, because I forget all the things that would make me think otherwise.
The flaming row I had with my boss in 2015? What flaming row? I thought we got on rather well....
You are lucky! Then again, my memory is blunter than it was, so maybe the past has a tendency to grow rosier as time goes by.
ReplyDeleteSx
Ms Scarlet: Yes, I do find that my memories grow rosier as the years go by.
DeleteThat is a good trait to have!
ReplyDeleteBijoux: It's a big advantage.
DeleteYou are fortunate, nick. I remember the wrongs I have done more than was done to me, but I do remember those at times as well.
ReplyDeleteSandra: I don't think I've done many wrongs to people, but others might disagree.
DeleteNick, the bad things are saved in a drawer in your brain. It's a protection, but nothing disappears. I remember as well bad and
ReplyDelete.good things , it's not a problem because when remembering bad things , I appreciste much more the good things.
Bad things can be part of our personal evolution and we can learn to reflect situations.
Hannah
Hannah: Yes, I'm sure the bad memories are hidden away somewhere in the depths of my brain. And yes, Jenny made the same point that bad things can make you appreciate the good things.
DeleteForgive me for pointing out that you pointing out that you forget the bad means you don't.
ReplyDeleteAnd anyway, why forget the bad? The not so good is part of the tapestry of life. Teaching us something.
My mother who is in her early nineties is a master of rose tinting everything. Good on her. What she doesn't comprehend that her dismissal of certain story lines is neither good or helpful. Little is worse than a parent denying your memories.
Don't deny yours.
U
Ursula: Well, as I say, the bad memories are probably stashed away in my brain somewhere, I just don't or can't retrieve them. And I don't see anything wrong with having mainly good memories. They don't have to be rose tinted, just pleasurable.
DeleteIt's good to remember more good than bad.
ReplyDeleteMary: That's what I think too.
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