Surprise surprise

Do you like surprises or do you find them awkward and embarrassing?

How do you feel about surprise workplace leaving dos, surprise birthday parties, surprise outings, surprise promotions - or surprise anything else?

For me it rather depends on the particular surprise. When I left my last workplace, there was a surprise farewell, with people saying I'd done a good job and handing me a generous gift voucher. I was very embarrassed, didn't know quite how to respond, and stumbled through a clumsy thank-you.

I've never had a surprise birthday party, but I imagine I would be equally embarrassed if I walked into one. So much fuss over such a prosaic event!

I'm okay with surprise outings - as long as it's not to a boxing match or a battery chicken plant. And I'm all in favour of surprise promotions - not that I ever received one!

But in general I don't like things being sprung on me, especially when I had other plans that I have to abandon. I like to know what's coming, which maybe sounds a bit rigid but that's the way I am.

I guess my upbringing has something to do with it. There were seldom any big surprises in my family, as none of us was keen on them.

I guess the biggest surprise in my life was meeting Jenny and finding we got on like a house on fire. That was one surprise I was very happy with. The covid epidemic was another big surprise, one I could have done without.

What other surprises are waiting in the wings, I wonder?

Not a doctor

There's some uneasiness in the UK over the role of physician associates (there are some 80 in Northern Ireland). Patients who have never come across them before may think they're doctors or even surgeons. And some physician associates have made fatal mistakes because of inadequate training or supervision.

They have much less training than doctors (a two year course) and can only carry out a limited range of procedures, like physical examinations and taking medical histories from patients.

Patients who don't know they're physician associates may assume they have a level of knowledge and competence they don't actually have.

The husband of Susan Pollitt, who died in Oldham after a drain was wrongly left for too long in her body, said earlier this month that he didn't know the person treating her in hospital wasn't a doctor.

Emily Chesterton died after a physician associate at a GP surgery in north London - who she thought was a doctor - twice wrongly diagnosed the pain in her calf as due to a strain rather than a blood clot.

The Health Minister has now announced a review of physician associates and their role amid growing alarm in the medical profession over patient safety.

I must say I would be a bit wary of a physician associate attending to me (if I even knew that's what they were). They should at least have badges stating their role.

And surely they're not qualified to make diagnoses, which is a very advanced skill that even doctors can easily get wrong.

Yes, time for taking stock, I think.

Pic: So who do we have here? Physician associates? Doctors? Surgeons?

Thoroughly lovely

In 2013, as a counter-balance to all my undesirable qualities (psychological hang-ups, poor memory, inattentiveness etc) I listed some of my (hopefully) more attractive qualities. For the benefit of more recent blog friends, I thought I would give them another airing.*

At the risk of seeming smug, patronising, supercilious, self-righteous, priggish and holier-than-thou, here are all my thoroughly lovely qualities.

• I don't harbour malicious thoughts about family, friends or loved ones
• I don't make anonymous attacks on Twitter/X
• I'm not interested in porn
• I'm not misogynistic, homophobic or transphobic (so he claims)
• I'm deeply disturbed by all the poverty, violence, misery and oppression in the world
• I've never had an extra-marital affair
• I like fluffy kittens and cupcakes
• I mind my own business and try not to judge other people's lives
• I don't gossip, and I'm good at keeping secrets
• I don't annoy the neighbours with loud music or all-night parties
• I deplore machismo and male posturing
• I do my share of the housework
• I'm a good listener
• I don't hide my emotions
• I'm not easily offended
• I'm not the jealous type
• I like teddy bears and ice cream
• I'm not an angry or bad-tempered person
• I readily apologise when I've done something wrong
• I've never bullied anyone

 *slightly amended

Not enough empathy

"The death of human empathy is one of the earliest and most telling signs of a culture about to fall into barbarism." - Hannah Arendt

There's a lot of truth in that. If you can't appreciate what other people are going through, their particular ordeals and disappointments and horrors, then there's nothing to stop you treating people cruelly and ruthlessly.

There seems to be a distinct lack of empathy right now. Politicians condemn the "work-shy" and the "not really sick" and those whose poverty is a "lifestyle choice". Trans activists condemn those who don't share their beliefs as bigots and fascists. Nameless individuals on social media attack anyone who is seen as offensive, elitist or politically incorrect. Newspapers pour hatred at criminals and politicians and public officials. Many ordinary individuals don't trust politicians and believe they're all feathering their nests.

There are plenty of things going on that could be described as barbaric. People who're jailed for minor offences. The deep hostility to immigrants. Poor people struggling to survive on inadequate welfare benefits. People who mistreat animals. Innocent people who're beaten up by the police. People who laugh at the disabled. Domestic violence and sexual assaults.

A lot of these things wouldn't be happening if there was more empathy towards the victims, a greater ability to identify with them, more outrage at the way some people are treated. But people are rather too adept at avoiding empathy and pretending hideous things aren't really going on - or aren't as bad as they seem.

One thing preventing empathy is that people who're in trouble are often seen as the author of their own misfortunes, suffering through their own fecklessness or stupidity. This is seldom the case and this callous blame-the-victim syndrome has to end.

Wanderlust

A constant desire to travel used to be called wanderlust, which was seen as something a bit abnormal. But now wanderlust is the norm and hordes of people are forever travelling the world as if it's the obvious thing to do.

A couple of times recently someone has asked me about my holiday plans, and when I say we're probably going somewhere in Britain, there seems to be a slight sense that this is strange, that we should be going somewhere more exciting and impressive, like  Machu Picchu or Angkor Wat.

But this wanderlust tendency isn't limited to an occasional thrilling holiday. Lots of people, it seems are travelling more or less permanently, with only the odd pause to catch up with domestic needs. Jenny's brother and his partner (both retired) are always either on holiday or planning the next one.

Some cruise enthusiasts go from one cruise to another, and are away from home for months on end. And then there's Anderson Dias, who visited all 195 countries in 2019.

Unfortunately the increasing and apparently insatiable desire to travel is what's causing over-tourism in lots of popular destinations and greatly upsetting the locals, whose daily lives have been disrupted by a huge influx of inconsiderate and demanding visitors.

Personally I'm not gripped by wanderlust. I've been to several countries that interested me and that's enough. I've no restless desire to tick off more and more places on the global map, no burning curiosity to see what this or that country "is really like".

Machu Picchu will just have to get by without me.

Meatlessness

Next year I will have been a vegetarian for 50 years. Right through my childhood and most of my twenties I happily ate meat, and then overnight I rejected it.

What happened was that I stayed for a week with a couple of gay friends in their Welsh cottage. I discovered they were both vegetarians and I thought it would be absurd for me to insist on making meat dishes for myself. So I decided to eschew (what a lovely word!) meat for the week.

When I returned home I realised I hadn't missed meat for a second and as vegetarianism was supposedly a healthier diet - and meant not killing animals - I thought I might as well continue to avoid meat.

When I met Jenny, who was a meat eater, and told her I was a vegetarian, she decided to join me. And the rest, as they say, is history. We were (and are) both fit and healthy and never saw any reason for going back to meat.

I'm glad to say I've never faced any active hostility from meat-eaters. In general people accept my meatlessness quite matter-of-factly. The only person who seemed totally bemused by it was my mother. I had to keep reminding her I was a vegetarian as she kept "forgetting". No, mum, I don't eat pork sausages.

So I have Ron and Paul to thank for my conversion 49 years ago.

PS: Researchers at Loma Linda University in the States have shown vegetarian men live on average 10 years longer than non-vegetarian men - 83 years compared to 73 years. For women, being vegetarian added an extra 6 years to their lives, reaching 85 years on average.

Wonky teeth

For a long time the British have been known for their dreadful teeth - not very white, not very straight, sometimes just gaps instead of teeth.

It seems that things are changing. One survey said that 53 per cent of under-35s have had cosmetic dental work. And many celebrities sport pristine rows of shiny white teeth that ironically look entirely artificial.

Personally I find slightly wonky teeth much more attractive than the visually perfect variety that are now so ubiquitous. David Bowie's less than perfect teeth were part of his appeal, and I was disappointed when he finally took against them and went for some better ones.

My own teeth are not very white, and two of my front teeth overlap, but it's never bothered me - or Jenny. Nobody's going to avoid me because they dislike my teeth. I certainly don't want to spend thousands of pounds remaking my teeth to fit some fashionable aesthetic image.

We're encouraged to buy all sorts of special accessories to clean our teeth more thoroughly - floss, inter-dental brushes, electric toothbrushes etc - but do they really make much difference? I just use a standard toothbrush and that works for me. I still have all 26 teeth, though some of them are well-filled (six teeth were extracted when I was a boy as my jaws were too small to accommodate all 32).

My teeth are just fine as they are. As the saying goes, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.