I think it's largely because they're unable (or unwilling) to put themselves in the shoes of the person they hate.
How can you hate immigrants when you know something about the circumstances they're fleeing from (civil war, famine, discrimination, economic failure, dictatorship) and how gruelling was the journey to a more civilised country? What would you have done in the same situation as them? Wouldn't you also decide life could be better somewhere else?
How can you hate a bullying employer who maybe has money problems, has mental health issues, has a crumbling marriage, has difficult children, has a parent with dementia? Would you not have sympathy for a person who's facing so much adversity on so many fronts? There but for the grace of God etc.
How can you hate the unemployed when there may be good reasons why they're unemployed - they have a serious illness, they lack the necessary skills, employers are prejudiced against black people or women or ex-prisoners. But the assumption is that the unemployed must be work-shy layabouts.
Of course hatred can be based on many things. It can also be based on jealousy - resentment against those who seem to be having better lives. It rankles intolerably that other people have more luck, or are especially talented, or just know how to climb the greasy pole. But again, are those people having the fabulous lives you credit them with? Or are their private lives a disaster?
You don't have to hate people. You can still dislike them and you can still be annoyed by them. Isn't that enough?
Pic: a work-shy layabout
Nick, we live actually what hate can bring. We lost our friend Vivian Silver a peace activist killed on october 7th and not forgetting the other innocent persons . Then started what we call the insane revenge bombing of Gaza. Said lost 28 members of his close family and a high number of personal friends. I take special care of him he seems to have suddenly lost all hope in humanity.We are in a disaster on both sides. I am like you and ask myself how persons can hate others. I have no understanding. And Gaza is not the only place where hate reigns.
ReplyDeleteHannah8
Hannah without the 8 of course sorry.
DeleteHannah: Utterly shocking that Said lost 28 members of his close family. I'm not surprised he seems to have lost hope in humanity. There's not much left of my own. He certainly needs special care. The relentless bombing of Gaza is incredible. Yes, Israel has a right to self-defence but what they're doing in Gaza goes way way beyond self-defence into sheer barbarism.
DeleteAnd what will come after all this ? It's just a desperate situation. A high number of Israelis do not agree with Netanyahu's way to act. His government supported by the extremist settlers has nothing to do with a democracy.I imagine how the families of the 3 young hostages shot by the army must feel. It's just horror for everybody.
DeleteHannah
Hannah: The alarming thing is that as yet there's no end to the conflict in sight and Netanyahu says it could go on for many months. So more and more death and destruction. Yes, the killing of the hostages is dreadful.
DeleteIn many cases, it’s not hatred but fear.
ReplyDeleteBijoux: I agree, the hatred is often a cover-up for fear. Fear of what they don't understand.
DeleteAnonymous Fly...no point wasting time on hatred...work out what to do about the situation you dislike, disapprove of, find unjust.
ReplyDeleteFly: Indeed. Hatred is just a lot of extreme emotion that gets you nowhere.
DeleteMy mother was one of the few whites who didn't hate blacks when I was a child so I was astonished when she moved to Colorado and mentioned her hatred of Mexicans. I suspect she was competing with Mexican for jobs but still it felt very unlike her.
ReplyDeleteLinda
Linda: As you say, she was probably competing with Mexicans for jobs and that caused some resentment.
DeleteI had a boss who bullied me to the point of physical illness. hating her would take too much energy but she thoroughly deserved to be hated forever. No amount of personal adversity excuses deliberate cruelty.
ReplyDeletePeople mostly hate what they are afraid of and fear is a normal emotion but i agree, hate is a waste of energy
Kylie: True, adversity doesn't justify cruelty. But with some people that's the only response they know and they just lash out.
DeleteI feel hatred of cruelty, but it bothers me to feel hatred at all because it's actually a cruel feeling too. Best avoided but often not as simple as it seems I think
ReplyDeleteJenny: I'm not prone to hatred, but I couldn't help hating my father and also one of my bosses. I couldn't summon up any sympathy for them.
DeleteHating other people just makes no sense.
ReplyDeleteMary: It makes no sense at all, but hatred is what some people have picked up at a very early age.
DeletePass me a sainthood now: I have never hated anyone in all my life, and that includes ...; don't ask. Only two people in my life know that, once upon a time, I cried over someone when the world cheered at his final humiliation. All I saw was the human being - as despicable as his actions had been.
ReplyDeleteA bit like "I love ...", I do believe "I hate x/y/z" is bandied about too freely. OTT - over the top.
As you say, in your last paragraph, you can dislike someone (possibly even irrationally so), you can condemn someone for their (in)action, but HATE? Here is another option: How about disdain? When I feel nothing but disdain for someone or despise someone then it's serious. Hate? No.
Interesting subject you brought up, Nick, considering this is the season of peace and goodwill to all of mankind. For all I know Jesus Christ would let himself, willingly, be crucified again. Poor guy. Didn't make much of a difference to how (some) humans conduct themselves the first time round.
U
Ursula: Yes, disdain is a good alternative option. As for the season of peace and goodwill, there's not a lot of that around at the moment (the Gaza war, hostility towards immigrants, hospital patients languishing on trolleys etc). And yes, the word hate is over-used to mean something lighter such as dislike or intolerance.
DeleteYou are so right, empathy is the cure for hatred.
ReplyDeleteColette: Yes, and empathy is in short supply these days.
DeleteSo much hate around the Gaza situation. A surgeon on air last night called it a war on children. He had to leave as all the operating rooms were blown into smithereens and there were zero medical supplies. He was traumatized by all the babies massacred or left to die. I am beyond rage and despair right now. this genocide has to stop and I hate Netanyahu with the fire of a thousand hells and I hope he is charged with genocide and war crimes of the highest order.
ReplyDeleteXO
WWW
www: Yes, the sooner Netanyahu goes the better. He seems to be indifferent to the monumental death and destruction he is causing. And as you say, many of the victims are children.
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