Monday 31 July 2023

Blissful ignorance

When I was young I seldom gave any thought to the possibility of old age and all it implied. I lived in a self-absorbed juvenile bubble, aware only of my youthful vitality and my still coalescing personality.

When we visited my mother's parents, all I took in was that they were old. I thought very little about what that entailed. I was aware that granny had a bad back and some arthritis but that was about it. Most of her life was a complete mystery to me, likewise grandpa's.

Of course one reason I thought so little about old age was that for most people in those days old age didn't last very long. The generally-observed retirement age was 65 and most people only lived for a few years after retiring. Because of that they were less likely to develop the multitude of medical problems that afflict so many of today's oldies. So if I ever thought about old people's health, I assumed they were physically fit rather than frail and decrepit.

I think it's also the case that youngsters, if they think of old age at all, simply don't want to know that one day they might be old and enfeebled, so they try not to think about what's coming down the line. They tell themselves that they'll never get old, or they'll die before they reach old age, or that all the infirmities of old age might happen to others but not themselves.

I was convinced at one time that I wouldn't live very long and would thus avoid old age altogether. In my twenties, I was quite sure I wouldn't reach 30, and was rather surprised when I did. I also thought I might die at 70, as my father did, but that never happened either.

23 comments:

  1. When I was a teenager old age seemed so distant - and I think that's how it should be. Young people are probably better off dealing with the here and now rather than worrying about being old and decrepit as they already have so much to deal with. Plus, as you say, they are still forming their personalities and learning how to deal with the world.
    It's hard work being human, isn't it?!!
    Sx

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    1. Ms Scarlet: It's very hard work being human, especially when life is getting more and more complicated. You might have a point that youngsters are better off dealing with the here and now, though it might be wise to think about pensions and occupations that pay well.

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  2. When I was young it seemed like I would never grow old. There was so much time.

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    1. Colette: Yes, old age seemed so far off, didn't it? Then suddenly you're old and you think how did that happen?

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  3. I am finding more and more than the young 'uns have no idea how aging affects life in so many different ways. And I really don't want to witter on about my challenges. As the eldest of my own family I find there is literally no comprehension from my younger siblings. And I, in my time, hadn't a thought for the challenges of my elders.
    C'est la vie.
    XO
    WWW

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    1. www: You'd think the youngsters might be more curious about old age and what involves, but they're strangely uninterested. They live in that juvenile bubble I mentioned.

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  4. As a child, I was aware that all my grandparents were old....but they were all active too, into their nineties, so I had little idea of the ills of old age..... until acquiring some of them.

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    1. Fly: My grandparents were pretty active too, so like you I knew little about the ills of old age.

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  5. Nick, you may be surprised but as a young person I already loved to look in an old face. I had not the happiness to have grandparents ,who died very young . My mothers father when she was 9 , her mother when she was 19, the same for my father . So I always considered old age as something extraordinary. Looking in an old face was like travelling in the past and had long conversation when I was only 7 with the "oldies " in our neighbourhood..My mother died at the age of nearly 96 , still beautiful and interested in world's life. In our western culture to get older is considered in a negative way. You have to stay without wrinkles ( which shows us so horrible faces , not able to smile anymore, with smollen lips etc.) Have a look at the photographs of Thorsten Thormaelen who made all over the world photos of people of the age over 100. Amazing.
    Hannah

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    1. Hannah: Unusual that you were so keen to understand the oldies - especially at the age of seven. My mother also died at 96, but unfortunately she had lost interest in other people and the outside world by then. Yes, people who've had a lot of plastic surgery can look really weird - like Madonna.

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  6. Sorry the first name of the photographer is Karsten.
    Hannah

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    1. Hannah: Yes, his photos are amazing, aren't they? He really captures their individuality.

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  7. My grandmothers only lived to be 78 & 79 and they seemed ancient to me for as long as I knew them. They both had dentures and were short and stout and didn’t walk well. Nothing like many in their 70’s today.

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    1. Bijoux: Well, I know people of my age who have serious medical conditions. Unhealthy lifestyles can lay people low at any age.

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  8. I was the oldest grandchild, and my entire life had one living grandparent. As did all the subsequent grandchildren. Today most children have four (or more) living grandparents and other relatives.

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    1. Joanne: True, people can now live to a very old age. People are surviving things that would have killed them a few decades ago, like heart attacks.

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  9. Mary: Old age kind of creeps up on you, doesn't it? And then suddenly you're a fully-fledged oldie.

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  10. I try to tell the younger members of my family about how things were when I was young, and am still surprised when they are not very interested. I have an idea that I might have been interested when I was young in the stories of peoples' childhoods, but perhaps I merely remembered them, and only find them interesting now!

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    1. Jenny: I'm also surprised they aren't more interested - a strange lack of curiosity.

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  11. my mum was adamant she wouldn't make it past 78 but she's almost 81 now.
    I have to say , Nick: when people died soon after retirement it wasn't that they didn't develop the diseases of aging, it was that those diseases killed them quickly. These days we are good at extending the dying process

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    1. Kylie: Good point about people being killed by illnesses that nowadays aren't necessarily fatal. We are indeed extending the dying process - and I'm not sure that's a good thing if we're all hobbling and tottering around for another 20 years.

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  12. Nick, my late mother always cautioned me to "never grow old" as if that were only possible. However, she lived to the age of 96 and her father was also long-lived to his 90s. I sincerely hope that their heredity will give me more time to enjoy life. While I don't know your age, I suspect it is closer to my own in the low 70s.

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    1. Beatrice: My mother also lived to 96, but she had lost interest in life some years before. Yes, if only one could never grow old! I'm 76 by the way.

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