Certain memories I can rely on because there's physical evidence of them. I know I went to a certain prep school because the school's still there. Ditto my boarding school, my various workplaces, the houses and flats I've lived in, the cities I've visited, the famous people I've met. And so on.
But when it comes to entirely subjective memories, ones stored only inside my own head, after all this time can I really be sure they happened? Or that they happened in the way I seem to remember?
Was I really almost crushed by a falling chimney? Did I really almost drown at Southend beach? Was I really almost run over by a speeding car? Was I really bullied at boarding school as much as I make out? Did I really lock myself out of a hotel bedroom in Paris? Or are these memories greatly embroidered, or even totally fabricated? Am I confusing my own memories with something I read somewhere? There's no one to confirm that yes, my memories are accurate and not just a tangle of distortions and make-believe.
We all know that if we ask a dozen people for their recollections of an event, their accounts will probably differ wildly and the objective truth may be hard to find. In which case my own memories may be equally unreliable.
Unlike some celebs, I've never been tempted to re-invent my childhood to make it look more dramatic or exciting or extraordinary. My memory is so poor that a week later I would have forgotten what I invented.
I have an overactive imagination, so sometimes I have to check in with family members to make sure I'm remembering the past correctly.
ReplyDeleteColette: My imagination is quite fertile too, so it might very well have influenced a few memories.
DeleteI have noticed that even in our own nuclear family, we all remember events differently.
ReplyDeleteBijoux: In my family too. My mother and sister have both had memories that differ from my own.
DeleteIt helps to keep a diary! I don’t write everything down, but they serve as a good reminder of what I believe happened at the time. I can also tell when I’ve over, or under, exaggerated something via what I’ve written.
ReplyDeleteTo be fair my diaries are pretty dull!
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Ms Scarlet: Jenny kept a diary for many years but I could never be bothered. That might have been a handy aide de memoire!
DeleteYou need to be reassured by Bishop Berkeley who held that reality consists solely of minds and their ideas/
ReplyDeleteFly: I can't say I agree with Bishop Berkeley.
DeleteI remember well. My sister remembers everyone's memories as her own. She at least remembers it may not be her memory.
ReplyDeleteJoanne: My sister has a photographic memory, and so did my father. Unfortunately I take after my mum, who had a terrible memory.
DeleteYou are not alone, Nick, as I find my memory of childhood events is very hazy, yet my brother who is 3 years younger seems to have total recall of these events. That said, I can remember what I was doing yesterday, thank goodness.
ReplyDeleteBeatrice: It looks like your brother has a photographic memory. I wish I had one.
DeleteMary says: "Really old memories can be unreliable at times I think. I've asked my brother what he remembers about certain things because we are only 2 years apart and if he remembers it the same way I do without giving him much of my own thoughts then I know that what I remember is right.
ReplyDeleteMary: I don't have much contact with my sister but as she has a photographic memory she could probably tell me if my memories are reliable or not.
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