Monday 1 August 2022

There were benefits

Up to now I've always looked back on my boarding school years in a very negative way. I was bullied constantly, the quality of teaching was poor, emotions were suspect, I had to play rugby and cricket though I had no interest in sport, there was a big emphasis on religion though I was an atheist and so on.

But the school did have its benefits, some of which have greatly improved my life, and I need to acknowledge those benefits.

Alcohol was forbidden, smoking was forbidden, and drugs weren't available since the rest of the town was "out of bounds". There was no gambling. So there was no chance of becoming any kind of addict. Sex and dating were forbidden, so there was no risk of getting a girl pregnant or having under-age sex. Or for that matter becoming a sex addict. And being cut off from the town, there was little chance of committing crimes like shoplifting or vandalism.

On the other hand, we could listen to whatever music we fancied, so I heard every possible variety of rock music as every boy had his own favourite singer or band. And the only albums I had to pay for were for my own favourite singer of the time, Cliff Richard (Yes, believe it or not, Cliff Richard. Thankfully my musical tastes have changed for the better).

So I emerged from my adolescence as a clean-living, almost strait-laced young man, free of any addictions or psychological hang-ups, and able to get on with my life in a straightforward, uncomplicated way.

I've continued to be a clean-living individual, not in thrall to alcohol, drugs, tobacco, sexual promiscuity or any other unhelpful habits. Which to some people may sound horribly boring, but it's a lifestyle that suits me just fine.

So at my ripe old age, my memories of boarding school have finally mellowed.

20 comments:

  1. Ramana Rajgopaul1 August 2022 at 12:51

    I did not go to a boarding school though, my son did for three years. It was however a school and hostel set up for children of the company where I was employed and so the atmosphere was different. He came out of it like any normal teen ager, not quite strait laced!

    I on the other hand had a much more colourful teen age time as I had started to work at the age of 16 and was not strait laced or anywhere near it. I grew out of that phase by mid twenties and I flatter myself that I have had a good life!

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    1. Ramana: Glad to know you were never strait-laced!

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  2. I truly believe an addictive nature is inherent and often unexplainable. It has nothing to do with schooling or otherwise. Some, definitely, are more cautious than others. Some are "chancers" and can get trapped by addictions. Nature rather than nurture having been "in the field" so to speak and observed. And listened.
    XO
    WWW

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    1. www: You may be right, but at the very least a boarding school regime that bans addictive substances should mean you're addiction-free until you leave the school.

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  3. Joanne's comment didn't appear on my post. She said: "The genes for addiction are known, but only recently. My father, born in 1907, realized he came from a family of alcoholics, and chose not to drink so as to not be an alcoholic."

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    1. Joanne: I went in for some heavy drinking with a few course-mates when I was doing a college course in 1970, but that stopped when I had one awful hangover too many.

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  4. My brother-in-law never stopped smoking even after having a cancerous piece of his tongue removed.
    Linda

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    1. Linda: It's hard to break a long-established habit. My grandma was smoking right until her death, despite having had a heart attack.

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  5. it does sound like it was good in that way.

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    1. Mary: It's odd that I'd never looked at my boarding school years in a more positive light.

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  6. Beatrice's comment didn't appear on the post. She said: "I went to a parochial school for 12 years and many of the things you mentioned as being no-nos were applicable as well. I have never smoked to this day, but have been known to enjoy a glass of wine every now and then.

    It seems with the passage of time, things we once considered as forgettable have a way of seeming better with age."

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    1. Beatrice: I enjoy the odd glass of wine but I haven't been tempted to over-indulge since I was a teenager. For me it just wasn't worth the hangovers.

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  7. Ms Scarlet: "We're all going on a summer holiday, flights delayed for a week or two...."

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  8. Glad you have been able to recognize some benefits from your boarding school years. Hopefully, they out weigh the negatives. I think it helps our mental health when we can find positive aspects. Often seem to be pluses and minuses to many of our experiences and it’s up to us what we make of them.

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    1. Joared: I wouldn't say the positives outweigh the negatives, but they certainly create a more balanced picture after years of one-sided complaining.

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  9. I’m most surprised that the quality of the education was poor and that you didn’t make any life long friends.

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    1. Bijoux: Maybe I didn't apply myself enough, but the fact is I only got one A level when I was hoping to get two. I did have some good friends at school but somehow after I left I lost touch with them. Again, maybe some laziness on my part.

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  10. I do think it takes off a lot of stress if things are forbidden, and teenagers can be very happily occupied trying to find a way to assert themselves by smoking cigarettes without anyone seeing, in a way drugs weren't necessary. I have often thought permissiveness just pushed the boundaries back, but I think it makes for a boring lifestyle to be stopped from doing everything. Lots of people don't regret their wild youths and indeed look back on them fondly!

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    1. Jenny: I didn't let my hair down at boarding school, but I did so after I left. I went a bit wild during the late 1960s, fascinated by all the ideas that were part of the "alternative culture".

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