Saturday 26 December 2020

How very reassuring

One thing we all learn as we grow up is the art of reass-urance - how to make the totally weird or alarming seem quite normal and manage-able. If we didn't pick up this vital skill, we'd all feel permanently overwhelmed by the horrors and peculiarities of the world around us.

From the government insisting the pandemic will soon be over, to mommy asking little Rebecca why she's crying, we become adept at playing things down, minimising things, insisting nothing's as bad as it seems.

Sometimes it's to reassure other people who're feeling panicky and anxious and powerless. Sometimes it's to reassure ourselves.

Politicians in particular are well versed in playing things down. No no, poverty isn't as widespread as we think. No no, there are plenty of jobs available.

Parents are equally adept at soothing their children's umpteen worries. No of course we're not getting divorced, darling. No of course that dog isn't going to bite you. No of course the planet's not about to explode.

Those reassurances may be total lies, but rather that than leave someone floundering in a state of helpless fright.

Jenny and I are always reassuring each other about something or other. We both know the other is deliberately reassuring us, and we only half believe what we're hearing, but we feel better for hearing it, which is the whole point.

My being a worried-well type, always imagining the slightest physical aberration might be the first sign of something horrible, reassurances from doctors are especially welcome.

Reassurances from politicians on the other hand aren't at all welcome. We all know frequent lying is part of the job description so I'm seldom convinced.

Finally, I can reassure you that this blog post is entirely harmless and reading it will not precipitate skin rashes, blurred vision or any horrid neurological conditions.

27 comments:

  1. I need to move to Europe! LOL! The media here is the exact opposite. Everything is blown out of proportion no matter what the topic.

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    1. Bijoux: Oh, everything here is blown out of proportion as well. The media aren't interested in reassuring anybody, on the contrary they try to scare everybody to death with one looming crisis after another.

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  2. I am reassured that this post is entirely harmless and reading it did not precipitate skin rashes, blurred vision or any horrid neurological conditions. I am deeply grateful.

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    1. Ramana: Every precaution is taken to keep all my visitors 100 per cent safe and healthy at all times.

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  3. I'm sorry but I disagree. I started sneezing as soon as I began the third paragraph of this post. So no, OBVIOUSLY not a harmless post at all.
    Sx

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    1. Ms Scarlet: I do apologise for this unexpected side-effect. As a gesture of goodwill, a Harrods food hamper is on its way to you.

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  4. Politicians in particular are well versed in playing things down. No no, poverty isn't as widespread as we think. No no, there are plenty of jobs available.

    I don't think this is supposed to be reassurance, Nick!! I think it's just lying! But bless you for putting a positive spin on it!
    SX

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    1. Ms Scarlet: They're complete lies. I think they're not meant to be reassuring so much as shedding doubt about what we believe to be the reality i.e. widespread poverty and unemployment.

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  5. Time to worry is when you are not aware of any problems and then someone says to you 'Now, not to worry about this, I'm sure it will be all right, but..''

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    1. Fly: People who stir up problems you never even thought of are infuriating!

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    2. Years ago I worried a lot, but then I made a conscious decision not to spend my life running scared. "Do the work of worrying" is a phrase that resonated with me. If there is something you can do, then do it, otherwise do something else. My version is "The quality of our lives depends on how we focus our energy and our attention." That's powerful.

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    3. Jean: I don't worry that much, and when I do, as you suggest I take some action or I distract myself with something else.

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  6. Actually, when I stare at screens too long, including this one, I get blurred vision. :)

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    1. Linda: Me too. My eyes are getting too old to readjust quickly.

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  7. Thanks Nick for reassuring me that reading this blog post would not result in any discomfort of any sort, unlike the discomfort resulting from listening or watching the news these days.

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    1. Beatrice: This blog post has been certified harm-free by the Blogging Institute. You can feel perfectly safe throughout!

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  8. Thanks, Nick. I am considerably reassured.

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    1. Joanne: Excellent. I wouldn't like my visitors to be worrying unduly.

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  9. Sometimes all we need is reassurance. Even if we know it's not true, it's enough to get us through.

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    1. Liz: Indeed, a few kind words can be enough to give us the strength to soldier on.

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  10. oooohh, I started sneezing as well, can I expect a Harrods hamper as well, or maybe Fortnum & Mason?!!lol. That saying "How can you tell if a politician is lying?" His lips are moving, is very apt. My daughter is very good at giving reassurance whenever I need it.

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    1. Polly: Your Fortnum and Mason hamper is on its way to you this very moment. Enjoy!

      Yes, that joke about politicians is very apt.

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  11. Reassurance sometimes can help when it's not a really big deal we are worried about.

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    1. Mary: Very true. Reassurance is less effective when something's really gnawing at us.

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  12. I miss that partner reassurance Nick. I know what you mean.
    On reading this, I am quite aware I carry a lot of my worries and concerns secretly not wishing to offload on those nearest and dearest.

    XO
    WWW

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    1. www: I do the same. There are some things I don't want to burden Jenny with, so I keep them to myself.

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