Friday 25 September 2020

Body blow

I should be used to it by now, but I'm always surprised by how many people dislike their body image and how few are happy with the way they look. Apparently the lockdown made many people even more critical of their physical appearance.

A parliamentary report found that 61 per cent of adults and 66 per cent of children feel negative about themselves most of the time. And the vast majority felt worse since the lockdown.

The women who felt worse blamed diet culture, post-natal pressures, the lack of older women in the media, and being bombarded with images of photoshopped, edited and sexualised women.

Men said body image concerns for them are also common but discussing them is still taboo, with pressure to "gain muscle mass" and look masculine.

What surprises me is that instead of regarding their physical appearance as their own business, and no one else's, so many people are striving after the fashionable "look", as displayed by highly untypical botox and surgery enhanced supermodels.

I feel like some kind of freak for actually being happy with my body as it is and not wanting to make it more "desirable". I don't want to be bulging with muscles, purged of body hair, a stone lighter, wrinkle-free or a bit bigger "down there". If people dislike the way I look, too bad. My only consideration is whether I'm physically healthy or not.

I have no wish to pour hundreds of pounds into the bank accounts of the beauty industry moguls who want me to buy perfume, moisturiser, body lotion, make-up, hair removal products, nail polish and all the other more and more numerous "must have" beauty aids.

If anyone thinks my nose is the wrong shape or my bum's too big, that's their problem, not mine.

35 comments:

  1. Actually, I am fine with my body image - and I do have what some might consider to be less than perfect attributes! I went down the route of accepting what couldn't be changed [such as my sticky out ears, and my lack of height]. I had bob hope and no hope of being a supermodel and so I just got over myself.
    I know some people who beat themselves up for not looking how they really want to look - and I wish I could help them on the road to acceptance.
    Sx

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    1. Ms Scarlet: Indeed, "get over yourself" is the best advice. Why waste so much time and money wanting to look different? Oh, and I also have sticky out ears.

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  2. What's the problem, Nick? If your body image doesn't bother you, indeed your projections of what OTHER people may think about your nose and crooked teeth, why do you dedicate a whole blog post to it?

    U

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    1. Ursula: If you think my post is pointless, you don't have to read it. Or comment on it.

      I also have crooked teeth.

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    2. Thanks for your recommendations. May I point out that without reading your post it'd be hard to find it "pointless". Anyway, I didn't say it was. I asked you a simple question, namely, why waste time on something (looks) that is of no interest to you? Which, incidentally, and I raise you one, I do not believe for one moment. If it were true you'd not give your nose, your teeth, your ears and whatever else sets you apart from Adonis a second thought.

      U

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  3. It indeed is their problem and not mine. I have never bothered about how I look except during my working life when I had to observe some dress codes but, once off the business world I would revert to my favourite Indian native dresses which are more comfortable and very easy to choose as, it is all white.

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    1. Ramana: I'm sure you're now much more comfortable in local dress than in those wretched suits and ties!

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  4. An easy solution is to disengage from social media.

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    1. Bijoux: Not so simple. Social media is hard to totally disengage from. And women's magazines with their stick-thin models and diet tips are heavily displayed in shops/ hairdressers/ airports etc.

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    2. That's the advantage of being a nerd/geek. There are a lot more fun things to do with our time...that's one reason I married Andy, he would never get suckered into things like that.

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    3. Jean: Indeed, why waste time on tinkering with our physical appearance when we could be doing something much more interesting?

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  5. I was neat and tidy for work, observed the dress codes - out of courtesy to the client if nothing more - and having always been a plain jane did not bother with all the nonsense.
    I was amused by a comment reported to me, made by a woman whose attempts to dominate local society don't fly with me. Apparently I have crooked teeth...well, I do, but it doesn't bother me. When I see all these mouthfuls of teeth, super white and regular as tombstones, which have enriched dentists over the years I wonder why people wasted their money.

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    1. Fly: When I see all those mouthfuls of perfect teeth in the middle-aged and elderly, I always assume they're fake - either dentures or implants. Which is a shame for those whose teeth really are natural (like my own).

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  6. Generally, I'm satisfied. Unfortunately, in one aspect, my perception of by image differs from reality, but it's something I can change, and that's my weight... and I'm doing it.

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    1. Mike: I'm lucky enough to be thin, but I know extra weight is very hard to shift once it's well established. Good luck with the shifting!

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  7. At the moment I'm missing one of my four front teeth and just got back from the dentist getting an impression for the replacement. She asked me if I wanted a temporary and I said no, that's the great thing about having to wear masks nowadays. The replacement is supposed to get here in a week so why take up our time.

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    1. Jean: I can't imagine you ever being lured into all that narcissistic nonsense. And yes, face masks are handy for covering up all sorts of embarrassments!

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    1. Joanne: Me neither. I wasn't exactly a matinee idol when I was young either.

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  9. In 2008 I did a face plant that broke my nose. In the ER they told me the x-ray showed it was indeed broken but not displaced. Still they referred me to an ENT doctor. He said he didn't know what it looked like before the swelling; what would I want it to look like in the future? When I realized he was offering plastic surgery I said it wasn't displaced and it suited my face just as it was. He really wanted me to let him break it again then reset it so I'd need to wear a cast on my face in July! No, thanks.

    But, I have been diligently working at losing weight--70 pounds so far yet more to go to decrease the demands on my body that I should not be asking of it.

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    1. Linda: I had to google "face plant" as we don't have that term here! I did something similar a few months ago - I collided with a glass panel next to a revolving door and my nose took a bashing. I think I may have fractured a bone but like you I didn't think any further action was needed.

      Losing 70 pounds is quite something. Good luck on shedding a bit more!

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  10. ditto Nick. and AMEN.
    life is so much nicer not worrying about the outside of us. if we all worked as hard on the inside maybe there would be less judging and more love. we can only hope.

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    1. Tammy: Absolutely. Perhaps people could work on their own engrained prejudices and aversions and stop judging other people's appearance.

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    2. Along those lines, I like the saying, "When you point a finger at someone, there are four fingers pointing back at you."

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    3. Linda: I've never heard that one. It's good! And of course the old favourite - people in glass houses....

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  11. I wouldn't ever have plastic surgery done even though I have a 3 inch scar on my left cheek. It's just a part of me and I'm keeping it.

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    1. Mary: Good decision. And people forget that plastic surgery can go wrong or can lead to complications.

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  12. Sadly I am still a victim of trying to look as I think I should. Every now and again I decide I'm healthy and I'm happy but quite soon I get attacked by the 'have to look good' virus. I was going to write 'bug' there but bug seems quite friendly; nasty virus that leaves me feeling rotten is much more appropriate.

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    1. Liz: I think it's hard to shake off the "have to look good" syndrome once it's taken root. Does it go back to your childhood or is it a more recent thing?

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  13. I'm not sure, Nick. I always felt like the ugly duckling in the family so maybe it's based on that.

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    1. Liz: So was that just your feeling or is it what other family members led you to believe? (or am I just asking too many questions?)

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  14. Like the old adage says: "it's not what you're eating, it what's eating you" which applies to many weaned on the perfect bodies in magazines and now media. You are lucky to have escaped that. I didn't. And had eating disorders, often to starving myself.

    So being self-congratulatory on not being a victim to such pressure (and often too, from parents and friends) is not sympathetic to those who were.

    XO
    WWW

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    1. www: I'm not being self-congratulatory. It was probably more luck than judgment that I was always immune to such pressures. My parents never suggested to me or my sister that we should meet some physical ideal.

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  15. I was always aware my looks and body didn't fit the ideal one of my time. I was proud of my red hair but didn't like to smile with my teeth showing because the two upper front ones didn't meet in front. Then I was surprised my high school senior year to receive some recognition from my classmates with a full page head photo of me in our school annual with my mouth open and laughing -- my teeth showing in all their gaping glory. I don't know how they got that photo as I didn't recall posing for it, but I didn't stress out over it. As the years went by I ceased to think much about those teeth positions but did not escape noting when articles were written about various celebrities in modeling and broadcasting who were pointed out as having that same kind of dental gap.

    I, too, have found much of the so-called "beauty business" a waste of time and money. Most of the products are made for very little money and sold for many multiples more.

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    1. Joared: At a time when there's so much emphasis on having shiny-white, perfect teeth, it's easy to see your own teeth as embarrassingly imperfect. I have some overlapping front teeth but luckily I've never been much bothered about them.

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