Saturday, 25 July 2020

In an ideal world

I wrote once about the faculties I would like to have in an ideal world. Faculties that would overcome all the annoying limitations of our human bodies and make life so much easier. These are the things I came up with:

1) A perfect memory that remembers absolutely everything. Like the plots of books and TV dramas. Like people's names. Like whichever shop it was that had that brilliant potato peeler.

2) Super-fast legs so I can forget the bus and walk the 3½ miles to the city centre in five minutes.

3) A maximum body-weight setting so that however much chocolate cake, trifle and ice cream I eat, I don't gain an ounce.

4) Fluency in several languages so I can read lots of great books that have never been translated into English.

5) A female body for a month so I can wear all those fabulous clothes I can only lust after as a bloke.

6) A totally adjustable body temperature, so I'm always comfortable however hot or cold the climate, and I don't need central heating or air conditioning.

7) Telepathy, so I know when someone is telling the truth or lying non-stop. Or whether they're just pretending to like me.

8) Infinite empathy, so however extreme a person's emotions, I can understand them instantly. I can feel exactly what they're feeling.

9) The gift of the gab, so whoever the person, whatever their situation, I always have something to say, and it's always what they want to hear.

10) A magic wand that will melt all the pain and misery in other people's hearts.

Goodness, wouldn't life be very different if we had the benefit of all those super-faculties? If the technology of human bodies advanced at the same pace as all our machines and gadgets and appliances? The mind boggles.

41 comments:

  1. Yep, I could do with some of those!
    Recently I've been dreaming about having a special power that makes Covid go away and vanish overnight!
    Sx

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    1. Ms Scarlet: That's a special power we could all do with! But Jenny and I went for a restaurant meal on Thursday - our first for over four months.

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  2. Good list. However (point 9), why would you wish to always say what others want to hear? That is terrible. Your notion throws out all intelligent discourse. Neither does it make you more likeable (should that be your aim).

    U

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    1. Oh, I'm extremely likeable, Ursula. No worries there.

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  3. At least theoretically, you could achieve most of these if you become an adept hathayogi. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hatha_yoga

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  4. Ramana: If that was the case, surely everyone would be taking up hatha yoga and we would all be superhuman.

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  5. In an ideal world I would have eye and hand co ordination.

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    1. Fly: That would be handy. And in an ideal world I could effortlessly parallel park and reverse down a narrow drive without demolishing half the flowerbeds.

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  6. Being fluent in a number of languages would be my top choice. Realistic and practical.

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    1. Bijoux: It would be very useful. I know quite a lot of Italian but I'm nothing like fluent.

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  7. It wouldn't matter if I could remember all those things because it would be such a mess I couldn't retrieve any specific thing anyway. :)

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    1. Linda: I don't quite follow. What would be such a mess? Do you mean your memory would be overloaded?

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    2. My brain appears to have stopped being tidy. Things get lost too easily.

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    3. Linda: Indeed they do. My memories are a bit like those things that should be there on the coffee table but have somehow fallen behind the sofa. It takes me a week to find them.

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  8. It would be like having so much stuff you can't find anything.

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    1. Jean: I don't think so. My sister has a photographic memory and can recall specific memories with no trouble.

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    2. I was trying to explain what Linda might mean. But I'm sure you are right.

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    3. I think we can all recall specific memories with no trouble. It is recalling others we wish to recall but can't that are troubling. Like trying to teach a friend how to crochet string bags I made for years without having a pattern in front of me. I never used to need a pattern so why do I need one now?

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    4. Linda: I haven't noticed any long-familiar skills disappearing as yet, but give it time....

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  9. Definitely 3, 6 and 10. You don't have to have a woman's body to wear womens clothes Nick!!

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    1. Polly: In theory maybe, but in practice I think I would attract a lot of undesirable attention if I ventured out in a dress or leggings!

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    2. I often see an older man in my local shopping centre who dresses in very feminine dresses, not in a style grown women ever wear but in the kind of prettiness we sometimes put on little girls. It surprised me the first time but I don't worry now. What is a worry is he is absolutely filthy

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    3. Kylie: A man in a dress I can handle, but filth is always off-putting.

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    4. I've seen a guy in town dressed very much how you described Kylie, I so wanted to advise him on how to look a bit more trendy. He was clean and tidy.

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    5. Polly: Maybe it's a gender stereotype, but I think a guy in a dress who also has a huge beard and copious body hair looks pretty silly. I'd recommend a thorough all-body shave before putting on the dress.

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  10. I recall loving the me that I was when I turned 9!
    what an odd age to remember happiness. but I do. and I was exceedingly happy for some reason! I wonder why.
    maybe I should have added a great memory to the list!

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    1. Tammy: How intriguing. Yes, I wonder what made you so happy at that tender age?

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  11. I dont really want any of these super powers, well maybe a stable weight. I miss my young metabolism

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    1. Kylie: I haven't noticed any significant drop in my energy levels as yet, but no doubt that will creep up on me eventually.

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    2. I have energy but these days I gain weight if I so much as look at a cake

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    3. Kylie: I gain weight very easily too if I eat a little more than usual. Which surprises people who think that because I'm so thin I can stuff myself and stay thin.

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  12. Replies
    1. ???? Is this an internet abbreviation I'm not aware of?

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  13. I would love all of these. I think most people would.

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    1. Mary: I would think so. Especially infinite empathy. It's easy to miss what someone is feeling or get it wrong.

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  14. Dream on! Perhaps one day science will make it possible to fulfill some of them.

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    1. Joared: Given we still understand so little about how the brain works, it will take a very long time before we make any such advances.

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  15. So basically you'd like to be a Super Hero.

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    1. Agent: Yes, sort of! But of course if everyone had those capabilities, it wouldn't be super anything, just normal.

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  16. I'd like to have most of those too.

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    1. Danielle: They would certainly make life a lot easier!

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