Wednesday 13 May 2020

Past and gone

Some people seem to be in love with the past. They look back nostalgically at some supposed "golden age", they wish they could be twenty again, they dwell on blissful memories from fifty years ago, they keep countless momentos of their childhood.

I'm not like that at all. I'm more than happy to leave the past behind and move on into the future. Not because the past was terrible or embarrassing or difficult (though it was just that often enough), but simply because it's all over and done with whereas the future is full of novel and exciting possibilities.

I don't believe in any "golden age". All golden ages had plenty of horrors and calamities along with the delights. I don't want to be twenty again. Life was tough at that age, full of disappointments born of inexperience and naivety. And I suspect most of my blissful memories are by now wild exaggerations that bear little resemblance to the long-gone reality.

No, I much prefer to relish the present and wait expectantly for whatever surprises the future has in store. Even the virus lockdown, frustrating as it is, in a way is exciting precisely because we have little idea of what's going to happen next. The past is all settled, frozen in aspic, while the future is still evolving and mutating.

I possess very few reminders of the past, at least prior to Jenny's appearance. I have only one photo of me and my sister at a tender age, and one or two photos of my parents and grandparents. I haven't kept anything from my schooldays - uniforms or reports or prizes. I don't have any old letters or diaries or notes to the milkman. I have far more memories than tangible momentos.

For me the past is all water under the bridge. But I'm always eager to know what tomorrow will bring.

30 comments:

  1. See? You have done it again.

    U

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  2. I don't want to or need to dwell in my past. I have enough to keep my mind occupied without wandering off on nostalgia or What If trips. Unfortunately, things happen that brings back my past to me regularly about some of which, I blog. Watch out for my post coming up this Friday.

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    1. Ramana: Indeed, you seem to be enjoying the present moment to the full. Long may that continue!

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  3. I regret the passing of the post war settlement, but cannot say that I return to memories of youth with any great fondness.
    I have enough to do to keep up with whatever mania is seizing governments whose actions might influence my current and future income.

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    1. Fly: Me too. You never know what mad obsession governments will come up with. There's talk in the UK now of reducing state pensions to recoup the coronavirus spending.

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  4. Can't say that I'm enjoying the present at the moment!
    Anyhow, I'm a sentimentalist; I still have my first teddy bear; a ton of photos; old school books etc. I like staying in touch with the past, but wouldn't go back without a dead cert racing tip for the 11.40am at Chepstow.
    Sx

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    1. ...circa January 1983!
      Sx

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    2. Ms Scarlet: I think the school books from my boarding school days would only testify to my ongoing idleness and lack of application.

      Racing tips are seldom as "dead cert" as they might appear. Your hard-earned cash would probably end up in the bookie's pocket.

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    3. No, what I meant was that I would look up which horse won the 11.40 at Chepstow on 1st January 1983, before getting in my time machine to travel back to 31st December 1982. I know, I didn't make myself clear :-)
      Sx

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    4. Ms Scarlet: Ah, now I understand! A cunning plan indeed....

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  5. I wouldn't say I dwell in the past, but I'm happy to have a few mementos. There's a great line in my favorite graduation speech turned song (Sunscreen) that says . . . Keep all your old love letters; throw away your bank statements.

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    1. Bijoux: A great line. I've kept all my birthday cards from Jenny since way back. But we never wrote each other love letters.

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  6. We take a lot of pictures that I keep fairly well organized. It's fun to compare what the land looked like then and now. There's quite a difference because of the fire and a great record of regrowth and rebuilding.

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    1. Jean: You're certainly well embedded in the present and looking forward to what the future will bring. Hopefully a great crop of fruit and veg in your new greenhouse, for one thing!

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  7. I have few mementos but I do have many photographs. Dave still has mementos, though. I don't see that his high school year books have value but maybe they are the equivalent of photographs for him.

    I was glad to see "free range" childhood returning before this pandemic hit. I do hope it continues as I think letting kids learn by doing is a good thing. I read about a family living in an RV and enrolling their kids in the Junior Ranger programs at the US national parks as part of their biology lessons--what a fun way to learn! Trip planning is a good way to learn geography, too. School doesn't have to be boring.

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    1. Linda: Yes, that's a great way to learn biology and geography. Much more interesting, I'm sure, than the teacher writing stuff on a blackboard.

      I'm glad I had a "free range" childhood myself, rambling around without my parents being terrified I'd get into trouble.

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  8. I don't live in the past, but I do appreciate my memories from those years beginning with my earliest, probably about age 3. I didn't always have pleasant experiences but I did learn something from them all I appreciated more and more as I became older. I can even affectionately laugh at some of my naive errors, embarrassments, empathize with my then youthful inexperienced insecurities. I treasure what remembrances, photos and mementos reminding me of the journey I took to become the person I've been along the way to where I am now. This makes me even more appreciative of living each day now and keenly aware that the future is to be anticipated but excitingly unpredictable. I'm also reassured I'm capable of coping with whatever comes next as those memories reveal to me.

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    1. Joared: I've never really thought of my life as a journey towards a mature identity, but I guess that's what it is. I'm amazed at how naive and ignorant I was as a youngster. Hopefully I'm a bit more wised-up now!

      And like you I get more confident of dealing with the unpredictable as I get older and I've dealt successfully with many previous crises.

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  9. love the pictures you always choose for your posts.
    they say as much about how you believe and your humour than anything! and they always seem to be spot on.
    I am trying in my later years to let go of the past as much as possible. I think life is happier in a way if I can just do that. not to say letting go of the wonderful things that may have happened. but by and large just living in today's world is better for me I think. it comes with its own angst without dragging the past's with me. and heaven knows... there's enough angst right now to last one a lifetime! XO

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    1. Tammy: You're the first person to applaud the pictures - thanks! You're right, dragging the past along with you is an unnecessary burden, except of course for the nice bits....

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  10. I don't think I'd choose to repeat the past either. There are moments in time I wouldn't mind experiencing again, but overall, I like my life now (well pre-COVID) much more than I liked it 15 or more years ago. I'd really like to fast forward through COVID, though, and get back to normal.

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    1. Danielle: Me too, if only I could slip into my time machine, by-pass the Covid crisis and re-emerge sometime next year!

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  11. I keep pictures from the past but that's about it.

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    1. Mary: That's much the same as me. Apart from anything else, I'm a minimalist, so I wouldn't want all that historic baggage cluttering up the place!

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  12. H'm. I guess having children makes a difference, the old photos, the bits and pieces of the happier part of my childhood, treasured little mementoes from dear friends, many now dead, nothing too excessive, pictures of my art, of my family of origin.

    More sentimental than you, I guess :)

    XO
    WWW

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    1. www: True, I'm not very sentimental, except where Jenny's concerned! And yes, having children, and maybe grandchildren, must make you especially savour the past.

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  13. there is so much i miss from the past, my prettiness and that youthful sense of possibility before life disappoints us. I miss my youthful energy and ability and i think of a dog i had and loved and wish i had allowed him on the couch. Things like that.
    On balance though, I dont live in the past. I have seen a meme (and we know that all of the world's wisdom is contained in memes) that says something to the effect that living too much in the future produces anxiety and too much in the past produces depression. I think there is some truth to that. All we have is now, looking back too much takes our focus from our present

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    1. Kylie: There's very little I miss from the past. I was never especially handsome (or pretty), I never had any huge sense of possibility, and I don't think I ever had that much youthful energy and ability. I just pottered on from day to day, the same as I do now.

      I think there's truth in that meme too. Certainly we shouldn't live too much in the future, with all the strange fears and uncertainties that can breed. Oddly enough, the unpredictability of the coronavirus isn't making me anxious at all, I just assume I'm highly unlikely to catch it and sooner or later it'll burn itself out.

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  14. I don't wallow in the past, but I am sentimental enough to treasure the memories and a selected set of memorabilia/photos. And of course, with grown children I do think fondly of their past a lot.

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    1. Agent: Oh, I'm sentimental enough to treasure my memories, I just don't have a pile of tangible reminders of everything. Of course I can understand that it's different if you have children.

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