Wednesday 26 February 2020

A bit of company

Loneliness isn't just a problem for older people, as commonly assumed. In fact studies suggest young people are more likely to feel lonely than the old. The image of young people as forever clubbing and surrounded by bosom pals is a bit of a myth.

A new apartment block in Helsingborg in Sweden aims to reduce loneliness in several ways. Firstly around half the tenants are young people under 25, while the rest are pensioners. Secondly all new residents have to sign a contract requiring them to spend at least two hours a week with the other residents. And thirdly individual flats are fairly small while the communal areas are spacious and cosy.

You might think some residents would object to such enforced socialising and retreat to their own flats, but on the contrary the scheme seems to be working well.

With (apparently) no pressure at all from the block's managers, residents are happily getting to know each other and saying how much better they feel as a result.

I think I'd be quite happy there myself (assuming no Jenny of course). Two hours a week of socialising is hardly onerous, and I'm sure I would benefit from a bit of company. It would be fun to talk to a few young people and get their take on life, and it would be good to talk to other oldies and see how they're dealing with old age.

You'd have to be careful how you selected people for the scheme though. You wouldn't want persistent moaners or political obsessives or crashing bores. If there were people you had to avoid, that would defeat the whole idea.

My mum complained constantly of loneliness in her last few years, and being in a scheme like this would have greatly improved her life.

Loneliness is too often seen as "one of those things" you just have to cope with. This scheme shows that doesn't have to be the case.

Pic: residents Fia Stegroth (20) and Gunnel Ericsson (86)

24 comments:

  1. The residents couldn't be vetted as you suggest, that would take away some of the diversity which is crucial to the success of such a scheme. And who's to say who would work or not in the environment.

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    1. Kylie: You may be right. I suppose one alternative would be a procedure for dealing with "troublesome" residents before they became a permanent problem.

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  2. It's an interesting idea, though I wonder how it works over time. If the young people want to start families and move to bigger places, that's fine, otherwise the only way of being sure of getting young ones in is to wait for the oldies to die or to have a strict age policy; over 25 and you're out. Which may be illegal in this country. In fact, I don't think you can legally force people to spend time together in this country. Sounds fun, though.

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    1. Z: The scheme hasn't been going for long, so as you say it remains to be seen how it works long-term. I imagine a strict age policy here would be tricky, unless there's some legal exemption for special circumstances. Presumably it's up to the would-be resident whether they accept the contractual term of required socialising or not.

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  3. That scheme is worth emulating all over the world.

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    1. Ramana: It is. I seem to remember a story about a similar scheme where young and old didn't live in the same building, but the youngsters lived nearby and were encouraged to befriend the oldies.

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  4. I think it's a nice idea, but your comment about selection reminds me of one of my favorite episodes of Everbody Loves Raymond. The grandparents move to a retirement community and then get kicked out because they are so annoying. It's hilarious.

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    1. Bijoux: I don't think that series was ever aired here. But I can imagine the situation very well!

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  5. H'm not too sure about this, thinking of the young people moving on and leaving the elders more lonely perhaps? There is quite a lot of socializing in my building (gorgeous community areas, libraries, events) but the gripers tend to hold forth on how goodlife used to be and are crashing bores. So I avoid. But then I'm not lonely. Now, I always say because things can change as we all know.

    XO
    WWW

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    1. www: Yes, I wonder what happens when the youngsters reach 25? Do they just get kicked out?

      Wherever you go, there are always the relentless gripers. Usually they seem okay for a while, then they revert to type and it's whinges all the way.

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  6. I think that's a great idea. I like to be alone but I know there are others that like to talk to their neighbors. My mom made friends with so many of her neighbors when she was alive.

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    1. Mary: I like to be alone, but I'll chat to neighbours and people I know while I'm out. We get on well with several of our neighbours.

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  7. Andy and I visited the local assisted living facility a few months ago, and they have regular social activities for the residents who want to partake. The local senior center also has lunches (suggested price $5 for seniors) every weekday, and a lot of seniors go there regularly. They also have other activities for seniors, and they have a van available for people who don't drive. So our community seems to be doing quite well for our seniors.

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    1. Jean: That all sounds very positive. Some care homes have a lot of social activities for residents, some have hardly any.

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  8. One of the reasons we chose to move to this complex is all the activities available for socializing. Yet, I do none of them. I rarely leave our apartment. It seems Dave is all the company I need. But, if I ever lose him I suspect I'll have to go be sociable because I really don't do well completely alone.

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    1. Linda: Jenny is all the company I need. But like you, I think if she was gone I would have to get serious about socialising a bit more. I wouldn't want to be totally alone.

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  9. Interesting
    I'm lonely when I'm tired after a long day

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    1. John: I can imagine. That's just when you want someone around to pamper you a bit and lift your spirits. Of course you've got all your furry friends....

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  10. Interesting that involvement can be made to happen. It certainly is not spontaneous ordinarily, and I do not know how to make it happen. I've said before, here, more old people die every day of loneliness than any other cause.

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    1. Joanne: It's shocking that anyone at all should die of loneliness, never mind thousands. This is the dark side of our so-called civilised societies.

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  11. I like the idea of knowing some of the people who live near me, also I like interacting with a variety of ages. Not sure I would like the idea of a written socialization contract requirement, but regular opportunities to gather voluntarily would be more appealing. Maybe they don’t rigidly enforce it.

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  12. Joared: A lot of care homes organise social activities but the residents don't necessarily take part. My mum was always a bit sniffy about organised activities, I could never work out why exactly.

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    1. Observing many social activities offered in a variety of quality facilities through the years and getting to know some residents, I think I can appreciate your Mom’s perspective. Even now as I recall the activities, I would be less than enthusiastic spending my time in many of them — depends, too, on the other attendees functional levels, and other factors.

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    2. Joared: I can imagine some of the activities are pretty elementary and not appealing to anyone seeking something seriously engaging. My mum never properly explained why she found the activities so off-putting.

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