Saturday 7 December 2013

Off trend

I couldn't be pretentious to save my life. I do what I want to do, and if it isn't trendy or cultured or flashy enough, that's too bad.

I see other people with their Armani jeans and iPads and Lady Gaga tickets and the Morrissey book and I think, well, that's fine, whatever turns you on, but I'm not going to rush out and buy all the latest fashionable bits and bobs just to prove I'm a cutting-edge sophisticate who knows where it's at. Whatever It may be. And wherever It may be lurking.

I insist on buying cheap chain-store jeans, tickets for old-timers like K T Tunstall, books by obscure authors nobody's ever heard of, and comfort food scarcely mentioned by all the celebrity chefs. I know practically everything I do or say is thoroughly off-message, and I don't give a damn.

The few times I've actually tried to be up-to-the-minute, style-conscious and so-hip-it-hurts, it's been a dismal failure and whispered put-downs and stifled giggles are the order of the day. I just somehow lose the plot and look like a pathetic wannabe trailing hopelessly behind the smug pace-setters.

When I was at boarding school, I tried desperately to be as smoothly masculine and rugged as the other boys, but of course it didn't work. However hard I tried, I still ended up as the effeminate wimp who simpered when I should be growling, and let my hair flop everywhere instead of slicking it back like Elvis.

As a teenage dater, I sometimes tried to be the cool, monosyllabic guy with the perfect social poise, but inevitably I reverted to type and remained the bashful, stuttering greenhorn terrified that any intelligent woman would laugh hysterically at my mumbled request for a second date.

No, I leave the pretentious posing and posturing to others, and continue to go my own way, gazing curiously at the breathless trend-setters scurrying along several miles ahead.

Don't mind me. I'm quite happy where I am.

17 comments:

  1. I think I've always walked to the beat of a different drummer. Some have said I set a certain style but that is not the intent at all. I go with what's comfortable and where my curiosity and passion lead me.
    I am clear on my preferences, yes I enjoy living alone, and don't have TV and OMG read by the fire and knit.
    And work on myself.
    XO
    WWW

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  2. www: "I go with what's comfortable and where my curiosity and passion lead me." That's a very good principle, I'd go along with that.
    Read by the fire and knit, goodness, whatever next?

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  3. What other people think of me is their business and not mine. The important thing is that I am happy in my own skin. I am.

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  4. I wouldn't necessarily dismiss anyone who has an object that is considered trendy. Just because something is fashionable, doesn't mean it isn't' right for that person. The key, I think, is whether you own something because it suits your purposes or because you feel pressured to have it to fit in.

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  5. Grannymar: Well, I've never noticed you doing anything the least bit pretentious. Good for you.

    Agent: Oh, absolutely. I'm not saying nobody should watch Lady Gaga or read about Morrissey's life. Whatever gets you through the day, as they say. They were only examples, and I was simply saying that I don't rush out and buy something just because it's the latest fashionable must-have.

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  6. I don't think I am pretentious
    But I think I can be
    Oh shit

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  7. John: I know, it sneaks up on you, doesn't it? I may not think I'm pretentious, but there are probably little streaks of it I'm unaware of....

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  8. Okay, I'm sure you're all dying to tell me the ways in which I'm as pretentious as hell....

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  9. Since you ask, Nick: If one wasn't well disposed towards you one might say that your very post is a little pretentious in its own right, reminding me of 'inverted snobbery'.

    U

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  10. It's sad to live in a culture where kids think they have to spend mega-bucks to fit in.

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  11. Ursula: Inverted snobbery? Maybe. But I don't think I have a snobbish attitude towards trend-followers. I'm just saying I tend to ignore the trends and go my own way.

    Bijoux: True. Some of these fashionable gadgets and clothes don't come cheap. Goodness knows where their parents get the money from.

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  12. I'm with you. Style is not a word that people associate with me. :)

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  13. I once wrote a post entitled "Stylish? Not so much." http://stresstopower.com/blog/2011/02/18/stylish-not-so-much-2/

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  14. I pressed the publish button too fast!

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  15. Jean: Me neither. But the whole neighbourhood is pretty much style-free, so I fit in perfectly.

    Re your post, my funny bone is easily tickled too. It gets me into trouble because people assume a frivolous remark about something means I don't take the subject seriously. I do, I do, I just see the light and dark sides together.

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  16. Sometimes we just get stuck in some ancient rites that would appear to someone else as being pretentious. Let me give you one example. I would not wear a shirt unless I had a tie on and would wear a safari shirt if I had to be without a tie. Most people around me thought that I was being a WOG whereas it was just one of those things that I was taught as a young starting our salesman that one never left a shirt open at the neck. I got over it and now wear shirts with open collars.

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  17. Ramana: I think a lot of Northern Ireland guys are like that. They would feel undressed without a tie. But I was really referring to present-day trends rather than long-standing traditions.

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