Indecent snow

People's hangups about sex never cease to amaze me. To certain eyes the most innocent things become symbols of wanton depravity. And if the depravity is particularly vile, there's nothing for it but to summon the police to quench the raging fires of lasciviousness.

In Rahway, New Jersey, Elisa Gonzalez and her family spent hours crafting a nude sculpture in the front garden of their home - their version of the celebrated Greek statue Venus de Milo. And very accomplished it was, so much so that several neighbours admired it.

But another neighbour was not so keen. The bare breasts and visible pubic area were too much for delicate sensibilities and a complaint was made to the local police about the "naked snow woman".

The police officer who paid a visit thought the snow lady and her assets were very impressive. But rather apologetically he insisted she would have to be covered up for the sake of public decency.

So she was given a green bikini top and some blue fabric to conceal the offending parts and restore the dignity of the neighbourhood.

Whether this achieved the desired aim is debatable. As Mrs Gonzalez said "I thought she looked more objectified and sexualised after I put the bikini on."

I assume that all snowmen will now be required to wear Y fronts to avoid similar complaints about their shameful lewdness. The fact is, people have got away with these obscene displays for too long. They have to stop.