Wednesday, 31 January 2024

Letting rip

If you're desperate for a pee but you're in the middle of nowhere, is it okay to find some hidden spot and let rip? Or should you try to hold it in until you find a public toilet?

Dacorum Borough Council in Hertfordshire clearly think you should hold it in. They fined two men £88 each for peeing in a layby. The men objected, the council stood firm, but eventually the council relented and their fines were rescinded.

A layby is a bit public and not a sensible place to pee, but what if they were in the midst of a wood and totally invisible? Is it really a good use of council funds to track them down and penalise them?

I've often had a pee when I'm walking in the Mourne Mountains. As long as there's nobody else around, what's the harm? It's either that or have an embarrassing accident.

Peeing in a public street is a different matter. It's vulgar and selfish. Usually the culprits are men who've had far too much to drink and suddenly need to pee on the way home. They're oblivious to the mess they make and other people's reactions.

Theoretically you can be fined £40 for peeing in a public street, which counts as indecent behaviour. But how often do you hear of someone being fined?

Of course there should be more public toilets, but they can't be everywhere, and your chances of being near one when you need to pee are pretty low.

Just be careful what you do in a layby.

26 comments:

  1. Anonymous Fly. That council could make a fortune in France.

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    1. Fly: Really? Is random peeing a big thing in France?

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    2. Probably counts as a world heritage occupation. Park in a huge layby to eat your sandwiches...give it a minute and car will pull up right in front of you, the driver will emerge and perform his traditional rites before your very eyes. Mark you, I've seen more impressive specimens in saucers on a shellfish stall....
      Go to a vide grenier...a car boot sale...and there'll be men peeing behind the stalls...
      No alleyway is safe...I saw a butcher's shop in Normandy with a no peeing sign on the front of the shop...and a multi storey carpark is just an invitation...
      There was a basic public loo in the village square where we lived, and men would prefer to pee against the trees on the edge of the square rather than walk two of three yards to use it.

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    3. Anon (Fly?): Sounds like you have a serious problem with random peeing in France. I hadn't thought of multi storey car parks, they have plenty of dark corners, don't they?

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  2. When you need to pee you need to pee. Ask a baby. I don't know why people are so squeamish about bodily functions. Shit happens. At importune times.

    Possibly one of the funniest I remember was when we were in Vienna, and the Apple of my Eye, aged about 3 needed to go. We were in a park. Now the thing with males, even when age three, appears to be that they need to pee against something. Be it a tree or a war memorial, don't ask - long story - the city I live in was outraged when some drunk hapless guy did just that. Putting it into perspective, I am sure those very dead soldiers peed in the bushes, trenches and on the beaches whenever nature called. Wars can't be won a full bladder.

    Yes, anyway, the little Angel needed to relieve himself urgently. He chose to go behind a stature of Mozart [remember, we are in Vienna and in a park]. I thought it hilarious. However, when I related this little anecdote to both my father and my son's father they were outraged. MOZART! Well, I told them that Mozart would have been the first one to laugh with joy - indeed be honored that he was preferred over some bush.

    Dear dog in heaven, Nick. Come to think of it. You [men] don't know how good you have it. Try and pee as a woman - in public; or even in the wilderness.

    U

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    1. Ursula: I wouldn't be outraged by that, though it's a bit disrespectful. Not that Mozart would say anything as he's long gone. Indeed, peeing as a woman isn't so simple as it is for men. But don't get me started on the shortage of female toilets....

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  3. I had to look up layby and I'm still unsure what it is: side of the road or a rest stop? Rest stops here have restrooms, thus the name. Side of the road would be a bad place to urinate, as cars are whizzing by, pun intended.

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    1. Bijoux: A layby is just a parking area beside a road, as in the photo. Apparently the American term is a turnout or a pullout.

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  4. On the very long highways here (900k to one of the ferries) I had to come up with a way to pee without wandering on to someone's land/farm/garden. I just open the two doors on the highway side as a privacy screen and just go on the side of the highway. Some really useful urine assist for women has not been invented yet - I've tried a few. Men have it easy. Only they love to show off their range. If they kept it subtle they wouldn't be caught.
    XO
    WWW

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    1. www: I don't know how these two were caught, but yes, you need to be subtle about it. Very true, men have it easier when it comes to discreet peeing (and peeing generally).

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  5. If the pee falls in a forest and no one is there to hear, does it make a sound?

    If the place where you do it is public / frequented enough that someone can see you doing it, then that's probably not an appropriate place. If it's remote or concealed enough that nobody notices to report it, it's probably OK. Private property, of course, should remain unwhizzed upon except with the explicit permission of the property owner.

    Of course the UK is notorious for its dense thickets of CCTV cameras in public places, which perhaps provide a sort of passive enforcement mechanism. A special "can you identify this tinkler" YouTube channel, with video of those unknowingly filmed in the act, would entertain the public and deter miscreants through humiliation, without council officials having to piss away their valuable time on such matters.

    Now if we can just do something about dogs engaging in the same behavior around our long-suffering fire hydrants.....

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  6. Ha, I like the idea of an "identify the tinkler" channel. That would produce plenty of red faces! And don't get me started on canine waste....

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  7. I think it's OK to pee in public if you're discreet. I'd insist on a natural surface where it can soak in or the rain will wash it away

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    1. Kylie: I agree. At least pee somewhere that will absorb the pee and not leave a big puddle.

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  8. I spent many years on the road and improvised as did WWW. Discretely.

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    1. Joanne: You must have offended the authorities many times over. But what else could you do?

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  9. In California a person who is caught urinating in a public place could be charged with

    public nuisance,
    public intoxication or
    indecent exposure.

    No peeing in public here!

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    1. I must say when we were in San Francisco (many years ago now) I never noticed anybody peeing in public. Plenty of rough sleepers though!

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  10. As someone else said if you get caught here it's an indecent exposure charge and a Urinating in public sometimes too. If you're out in the woods where no one can see you, they are less likely to care.

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    1. Mary: Sounds like Las Vegas is pretty strict about public peeing.

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  11. I have a smaller than usual bladder. When I used to spend a lot of time downtown, I soon learned where to find every public bathroom. When traveling my favorite is McDonald's because they are nearly everywhere in the US and are decently clean. I even found one in the Netherlands on a day trip while there.
    Linda

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    1. Linda: Using McDonalds is a good standby. And presumably other big chains like Starbucks.

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  12. I've taken a squat in places outside, I think should Nature Call and you're trying very hard to be discreet and unseen, it is better than having an accident. So many places on this side of the Pond now lock their Restrooms and only allow 'Customers' to use them... so good Luck finding out you could dash into and use.

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    1. Hi Bohemian. Visiting from the Arizona Desert, wow! There's a trend here in Belfast too to keep restrooms locked and customer-only. I suspect it's due to problems with druggies. But as you say, better a discreet pee than an accident.

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  13. Quite a good post subject, Nick, and my husband will attest to the fact that you gotta go, you go. of course, he does it as discretely as possible if we are walking in a wooded area, for example, by going farther in off any trail. Thankfully, my urgent needs are usually far less but as someone commented previously, men do have it so much easier than women.

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    1. Beatrice: Like him I try to go well into a wooded area to have a pee. Too true, men have it easier than women in that situation.

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