Unless your only concern is whether you love each other, how compatible you are, and how likely you are to stay together, and you absolutely refuse to think about such practical issues as bricks and mortar, then housing is bound to come up sooner or later.
Does your date own a flat or house? Are they planning to? Do they have enough funds to do so? Or are they easily affording a hefty flat rental?
Such considerations weren't so pressing when I was young and dating. If you gave the matter any thought at all, you assumed your date was happily housed somewhere and able to afford whatever it cost.
I hardly gave a moment's thought to housing when I was dating, and neither did my parents, even though parents generally were often very curious about a prospective mate's financial status and future prospects.
When I met Jenny we were both working in bookshops. Although our salaries were low, we assumed we wouldn't have any trouble renting and subsequently buying a flat or house. At that time this was such a reasonable assumption that we barely discussed it. Since then of course both rents and property prices have sky-rocketed and salaries have declined.
So it's not surprising that the practicalities of where you and your loved one might live, and whether you can possibly afford it, often comes up.
Not very romantic but hard to avoid.
I was paticularly lucky in the housing market when I look back but today the kids don't have a hope in hell unless they're waiting for a wealthy parent to die.
ReplyDeleteInflation and lower salaries are the killer for most young 'uns.
XO
WWW
www: Inflation is still about 8% in the UK, and food inflation is about 17%. But salaries are only rising by about 5%.
DeleteCo-housing seems to been the rise in the USA. Our nephew and his wife have three kids yet they recently sold half their house to a childless couple. They all share the main floor, the couple has the next floor up and the family has the top floor.
ReplyDeleteLinda
Linda: That sounds like a beneficial arrangement. There's a co-housing network in the UK which lists 19 co-housing developments and another 60 on the way.
DeleteIt never entered my head that I would have to worry about housing.....until meeting the building society reps who semed to think that, as a woman, one's only design was to grab a mortgage from them and promptly become pregnant! I did ask one if I should obtain a certificate that I had been sterilised and he reared up in horror at my improper remark! I did get a mortgage eventually....but it needed a broker.
ReplyDeleteFly: Building societies in the UK used to be very unhelpful to women wanting mortgages, seeing them as a man's prerogative. Thankfully they've changed their tune.
DeleteThe housing crisis is part of the thinking of young people who decide to live together and not marry and not have children. Too many burdens.
ReplyDeleteI chuckled at fly's answer. To get my first mortgage, in the sixties, I asked my doctor to supply the bank a letter that the probability of my becoming pregnant was small. He was incensed, but did it.
Joanne: Glad you managed to persuade the doctor to write the letter! Yes, some people are deciding against having children because of the messed-up world they'd be coming into.
DeleteI did not know it was a dating concern, though I do think that couples moving in together very early in the relationship is due to the high cost of housing.
ReplyDeleteBijoux: I was reading exactly that, that some couples are moving in together very early on to save on housing costs.
DeleteHi Nick!
ReplyDeleteWanted to say thank you for stopping by my blog. Nice to finally meet you!
Even being single and looking to move, I have had the hardest time finding even a studio apartment within my budget because the increase in rents have gone sky-high. Therefore, I decided to stay where I'm at because they barely raise my rent each year.
Ron: As you say, nice to finally meet each other (on our blogs that is) after all these years! If you only get a tiny rent rise each year, then yes, you're probably best staying put. Landlords in the UK are imposing staggering rent rises, anything up to 50%.
DeleteI wanted to live my friend and be like Beryl and Sandra in The Liver Birds - so I do recall thinking about it.
ReplyDeleteI agree that there was an assumption that moving out of my parents house would be affordable.
I feel sorry for the younger generation, it's really tough these days to get on any kind of housing ladder.
Sx
Ms Scarlet: Just about everything is tougher for today's youngsters than it was for us in our younger days. It's quite shocking. I never watched the Liver Birds. I was a Monty Python fan.
DeleteHousing prices are crazy right now. That's why a lot of 20 something year olds are still living at home.
ReplyDeleteMary: Yes, they simply can't afford to live independently because sky-high rents are unaffordable.
DeleteNick, starting a relationship based on the financial liability of the partners is for me a horror vision. We started our common life in a one room flat ,with a shower corner and never felt unfortunated. Today we have a big town house but we kept only two rooms for us and the others for refugees. I do not know if you have a big house , but I never felt the need to have two or three bathrooms ,an immense kitchen or whatever. We were young together, we grow old together and we are still happy and thankful . We can take nothing with us once our life finished.
ReplyDeleteHannah
Hannah: Good that you don't feel the need for a huge personal space. We have a big house now but lived in small flats for many years. We don't want to share our space with other people but it's admirable that you're happy to do so.
DeleteNick, of course we are all different and that's wonderful. How boring it would be , if we all choose the same way of life. I think the fact that my husband is a Médecins sans frontières shaped our social life as well as our personal families history.
ReplyDeleteHannah
Hannah: Great that your husband is with MSF. We donate to them regularly.
DeleteThank you Nick.
ReplyDeleteHannah