Most of the critics agreed. Marriage sooner or later turns rotten, this is a brilliant portrayal of what it becomes, telling it like it is etc.
Well, Jenny and I couldn't recognise this depressing view of marriage. Is the typical long-term marriage really so dismal and vacuous? Are couples really so non-communicative, so ground-down, so forlorn?
Our marriage may go back 27 years but as far as we're concerned it's still very much a "blissful union" and we don't at all feel it's degenerated into something tedious and joyless. We get on very well, we enjoy doing things together, we have wonderful conversations about everything under the sun, we resolve our differences easily, and there's lots of laughter and excitement.
We don't feel there's anything lacking in our relationship. We don't think that maybe we'd be better off with someone else. We don't think we've taken some wrong turning and landed up somewhere we don't want to be. We're very happy just where we are.
If the average marriage really is as dismal as this TV drama makes out, I feel sorry for all those couples trapped in such an unsatisfying situation. Did they just marry the wrong person in the first place, have they simply lost interest in each other, or do they lack the skills needed to reinvigorate a tired relationship?
All I can say is, Jenny and I are very lucky our marriage hasn't become so "hollowed out" and is still alive and kicking.
Well, that sounds like a depressing show! I think there are too many variables that can affect a long-term marriage and many are things the couple would never dream of when they are in their 20’s.
ReplyDeleteBijoux: True, a lot of things can change over the years and gradually undermine the marriage. Luckily whatever has changed with Jenny and me hasn't done any damage!
DeleteI thought it was pitched as a drama/comedy?! I will have to watch it now that you’ve drawn my attention to it.
ReplyDeleteSx
Ms Scarlet: I certainly wouldn't call it a comedy. It wasn't at all funny, just horribly depressing. I'll be interested in your response to it.
DeleteMy marriage lasted all of forty years and till the end was anything but boring or claustrophobic. There are many other marriages that I can readily think of of similar nature. I think that it all depends on the couple and to generalise will be very foolish.
ReplyDeleteRamana: It depends very much on the couple. Some couples just seem to drift apart over the years for no obvious reason.
DeleteAll marriages are unique in their own ways, I know some couples in misery, some couples with joy and excitement. My observation only: childless couples are the happiest.
ReplyDeleteXO
WWW
www: Certainly we don't have any children to contend with - difficult or otherwise! But I suspect my parents had plenty of differences over how to bring up my sister and I.
DeleteI wouldn't call our marriage a "blissful union," but neither is it boring or claustrophobic. Too many people, I think, have excessively high expectations and end up giving up when those expectations aren't met. We were never under any such illusions. After 50 years together, we are "family" as much as we are a "couple," if that makes any sense.
ReplyDeleteMike: I think that's true, that some people have grand expectations of marriage and bail out as soon as the going gets a bit tough.
DeleteMy husband and I have been together for 51 years. It has been just about every emotion over the years. We have a child together who is middle aged now, and he has a slightly older child, too. We have grandchildren. We have our own interests, and we have interests we share. It's been such an interesting life, I'm happy with this long marriage. It has been far from boring.
ReplyDeleteThe "he" who has a slightly older child, too" is my husband.
DeleteColette: Good to know your marriage has been far from boring!
DeleteIn a couple of weeks Andy and I will have been married 58 years, and we went together for two years before that. 60 Years of shared memories, irreplaceable.
ReplyDeleteJean: Not only 60 years but you two still seem to be in pretty good health.
DeleteNick, that great for you an Jenny and many more years of happiness to you both. We also married later in life, after other experiences, and perhaps we learned from them more about what a marriage should and should not be. That said, this weekend we will celebrate our #23 anniversary and plan to keep going.
ReplyDeleteBeatrice: Clearly you worked out well what a marriage should and shouldn't be.
Delete54 years later we still made the right decision. Like Cheerful Monk we also dated for 2 years before marrying but, unlike her, we were still teenagers when we married so there were some rough years as we had to grow up within the marriage. I'm still glad we picked each other way back then.
ReplyDeleteLinda Sand
Linda: Yes, as teenagers I can imagine you had a lot to learn about marriage!
DeleteOur "dating" time was much, much shorter than others have mentioned. I was stationed at Great Lakes Illinois. She lived in Milwaukee. We met at a USO dance one weekend. Faced with a transfer in just a few weeks to California, a couple of weeks later she suggested moving out there. My counter-suggestion was that we get married first, which we did... 5 weeks later. People we knew at the time said it would never last. I wonder at times how well their own marriage withstood the test of time.
ReplyDeleteMike: So they said it would never last - they got that rather wrong! Jenny and I cohabited for 14 years before we married so we had plenty of time to test our relationship.
DeleteKen and I were married 30 years and I have no doubt we would have lasted another 30 had he lived. Maybe some marriages are this way but not all.
ReplyDeleteMary: It's sad that Ken died so early. But you had a long and happy marriage up till then.
DeleteI can add little to this study; I was married only 9 years, up to age 30. And 15 years later, my former husband died.
ReplyDeleteJoanne: So you were married at a very early age. That's always a bit risky.
DeleteI watched the start of the first episode and decided it was too slow, even for me. You and I are fortunate in our relationships i think.
ReplyDeleteI thought I left a comment here but maybe I only thought it and never wrote it. My husband died just a few months short to the day of our 43rd wedding anniversary. I agree, it's sad in a marriage if a relationship becomes like you say that TV series depicts. I really like Nicola Walker so would look forward to seeing the story if our PBS ever shows it as it did Last Tango In Halifax.
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