As long as I look fairly normal and don't have four ears or twenty fingers, I take my body for granted and only give it serious attention when I'm buying clothes or shaving or showering. The rest of the time my body might be non-existent, just a sort of ghostly form hovering around me.
Why would I dislike my nose, or mouth, or hair, or tummy bulge, or protruding ears, or wobbly bits or wrinkles? They just are what they are. I've much more interesting things to think about than my skinny lips or my bald patch.
People often explain their bodily discontent by saying they lack self-confidence and changing this thing they dislike would give them a boost. But surely self-confidence stems from something far more basic than your physical appearance?
Or is it absolutely natural to dislike bits of your body, meaning I'm some kind of weirdo for not doing so? Should I be peering in the mirror every morning and finding something I loathe? Should I be desperately unhappy about my tummy bulge and planning some plastic surgery?
No, I refuse to abhor my body. It's not the ideal male body (whatever that might be) but it's good enough for me. Other people might think I could "improve" something or other but their opinions don't interest me.
I'm leaving my sticky-out ears just as they are, thanks. Sticky-out ears are super-cool.
I am blessed with two friends who, like me are bald. One has gone in for a hair transplant surgery and now sports black hair on top that belies his real age. The other wears a wig, again black which too makes him look more comic than he is. Neither are aware of their comic appearance but seem to be very comfortable with their appearances. Beats me. I am quite comfortable in my baldness and grey friar's fringe as well as my Gandalf the grey beard.
ReplyDeleteRamana: I'm not sure what I would do if I went bald - not that that's likely since I only have a small bald patch. I wouldn't like being bald, that's for sure, but I wouldn't resort to a hair transplant or a wig. Perhaps I'd just permanently wear a hat?
DeleteI will never understand the vast difference between those who are constantly doing Botox and plastic surgery and those who are obese and live in their pajamas. It’s a strange world.
ReplyDeleteBijoux: I know, some people seem perfectly happy with their appearance while others are desperately trying to maintain some sort of super-youthful ageless look. What a pointless exercise!
DeleteIt’s important to embrace the changes old age brings to our body. I don’t like it but I’d rather focus on other endeavors that matter rather than focus on what doesn’t. At 68 years old, I’m just happy I’m as healthy as I am - with a few aches and pains. The alternative would be worse.
ReplyDeleteDebby: Indeed, why not focus on things that really matter rather than one's physical appearance?
DeleteWhen I broke my nose, a doctor wanted to give me a new shape. My nose wasn't dislocated so didn't need fixing. I said my nose fit my face just fine.
ReplyDeleteLinda Sand
Linda: Good for you. Why did the doctor think he (she?) had a right to comment on the shape of your nose?
DeleteHe actually said he had no idea what my nose looked like since it was so swollen but he was offering me the chance to change it if I wanted to do so. I'm sure he was just looking to make money.
DeleteLinda
Linda: I guess money is the likely explanation, as it so often is!
DeleteI have a 3 inch scar on the left side of my face from a surgery I had as a kid. I never thought about plastic surgery to fix it. It's just another part of me. None of that kind of stuff bothers me.
ReplyDeleteMary: Why put more money in the plastic surgeon's pocket to fix something like that? What does it matter?
DeleteI know two people who had gastric bypass surgery and then ate their way back to the old pounds and more. And I only know two people with gastric bypass surgery.
ReplyDeleteJoanne: That's interesting, as I had the impression gastric by-pass surgery is a cure-all that keeps the fat off for good. Clearly that may not be the case.
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ReplyDeleteI was probably more sensitive about my body when a young teen but pretty much ceased to be as I became an adult. I've never had any interest in cosmetic surgery for any reason.
Joared: The number of people who undergo plastic surgery is extraordinary. And they don't necessarily like the result. One survey found that 65% of people polled regretted their surgery.
DeleteYay for sticky-out ears!!
ReplyDeleteSx
Ms Scarlet: Sticky-out ears are much more interesting than flat ears.
DeleteMy sister-in-law likes her sticky-out ears because when she tucks her hair behind her ears it stays there.
DeleteLinda Sand
Linda: That's one advantage I hadn't thought about!
DeleteI think girls used to get teased and pressured by other girls much more than boys did, and girls also used to be pressured by their mums about their bodies. Not sure about now. These days many men are very concerned with their appearance, but I think more in a way to do with fitting in and looking cool than achieving some ideal of beauty. I see very few around who don't care, whereas you probably found your dad and friends weren't constantly on about it to you. So it comes down to fitting in with other people I think.
ReplyDeleteJenny: Yes, maybe men want to fit in and look cool. But I think they're also striving after the ideal body. Google has loads of adverts for men's shapewear that slims and flattens the same as the female version. Very true, my dad and friends never said much about my appearance.
DeleteFrom a very early age (and not much has changed) girls are assaulted on every front about their appearance, bombarded with ads of "improvement" dieting, clothing choices and on and on. Not to mention the constant assessing male gazes (read leers at times) of men around them. No wonder they end up dissatisfied and unhappy with their bodies. "If you lose weight you'd really be beautiful", etc. etc.
ReplyDeleteCosmetic surgery is extreme mutilation and can result in death (hello, or should I say goodbye, Joan Rivers for one). And I am so very sorry for my friends that have had it. And gastric, etc. can result in cancer. One friend died of this. Anti-ageism has a lot to do with continuous non-acceptance in later years, and frankly, most men don't "get" this. Women are programmed from childhood on.
XO
WWW
www: Absolutely, girls are told from an early age that they need to improve this or that aspect of their body and behaviour. Men think they have a divine right to monitor every aspect of a woman's life. Very sad that Joan Rivers had so much plastic surgery and still was never happy with her own appearance.
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