Friday 1 July 2022

I am what I am

Some time ago I wrote about Guardian columnist Emma Beddington and the five things she likes about ageing. Naturally there are many more than five benefits, and I thought of a few she didn't mention.

  • Increased scepticism. I'm less likely to believe other people's dubious claims, opinions and stories. I'm more likely to think, yes, and pull the other leg, it's got bells on.
  • I have less interest in what's fashionable or popular. It's amusing to see the latest ridiculous bit of clothing or furniture or quinoa-and-seaweed recipe, but mainly I just go my own way.
  • I have less desire to solve other people's problems. They're mostly too complex and too baffling to be put right by a well-meaning lobby group or two. Nowadays I leave them to the politicians.
  • I can recall lots more interesting experiences than a twenty something. I've been round the block a few times, and come up against harsh reality often enough.
  • I can opt out of tedious events by claiming to be too tired/too frail/not up to a long journey. This is where the stereotypes of doddery old codgers can be rather useful.
  • I can excuse any domestic scruffiness by saying I don't have the energy for exhaustive housework. I mean, you can't really expect a septuagenarian to be plucking cobwebs from the ceilings.
  • All the horrors of flirting, dating and romantic disillusion are well behind me. I don't have to worry that my date will hate my clothes or my taste in food or my political opinions.
Of course I'm not saying that all this applies to oldies in general. I'm sure there are plenty of oldies who totally love social events and still want to be at the height of fashion. But I am what I am, as Popeye said.

Emma Beddington's five likes can be found here.

32 comments:

  1. Ramana Rajgopaul1 July 2022 at 12:09

    I can relate to her 100% and more.

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    1. Ramana: Good to know you also appreciate all the benefits of ageing!

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  2. Yup on all counts. I would add being very, very selective about friendships as energy for social engagement can be limited.
    XO
    WWW

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    1. www: Yes, being selective about friendships is sensible. Some friendships can become a bit of a burden.

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  3. I count myself as lucky to have never had to find dates online. Which goes with increased skepticism of people in general, but especially online.

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    1. Bijoux: Online dating didn't exist when I was a teenager. It does sound pretty hazardous. I met Jenny when we worked at the same bookshop.

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  4. Nailed it. I am very content these days with the exceptions of some aches here and there. I enjoy my simple life.

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  5. Debby: I also enjoy a simple life. Too much socialising and travelling soon gets tiresome.

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  6. I'm good for all except the first. I'm still gullible.

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    1. Joanne: I think I've always been a bit sceptical. From an early age, religion made no sense to me.

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  7. This is the happiest time of my life. At my last physical my doctor said I was 81 going on 40. I told her no, I wouldn't want to be younger. She understood. She says, "It keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?"

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    1. Jean: Some oldies are remarkably fit, others are coping with all sorts of nasty ailments. It's all the luck of the draw, I guess.

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  8. Yes! I'm finding that other than the aches and pains that apparently are normal... ageing can be so relaxing and even fun. I have always been a 'people pleaser.'
    not anymore! I have Finally learned to just please myself. that's a big step for a people pleaser. and I love the picture you've chosen for this post. she looks how I feel! it's truly all about the small things in life.

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    1. Tammy: I've never been much of a people pleaser, though I've never been much of a people-confronter either. I just tootle along, keeping out of trouble!

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  9. So true, aging is not that bad. I do not like how some dismiss me for being older. At first, I felt like saying do you know who you are speaking to. But now, no worries. Those that help me because I am older more than compensate. I'm actually just happy.

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    1. Ann: There are so many negative stereotypes about oldies. The reality is that we're mostly happy and enjoying life.

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  10. I don't buy into stereotypes, either way. Anyway, I am blessed with genes to die(!) for. I don't even have a double chin. Neither does my mother and, by necessity, she is a good few years older than me. Which possibly proves the old adage than any man should look at his love interest's mother before offering his hand.

    In other good news, see how the tide turns: When I was eleven my father noticed my eye sight lacking. Great. Decades, a few, of glasses, largely contact lenses, severely myopic. Fairly early on, age wise, what do you know, yours truly was diagnosed with cataracts. I am not easily scared. Was I scared? You bet. Scared that I might be one of the tiny percentage of people who are blinded by the op. So I put it off. And off. And off. For a few years. Where one of the most renowned eye surgeons in England took the patience with me from I do not know. Anyway, eventually, I was nearly blind. As in fog. That's what cataracts are. Fog. Getting denser. So what the hell. I had the op. The two eyes several weeks apart.

    Nick, there are two miracles in my life. The most miraculous, obviously, my son's existence.The second miracle? I was gifted 20/20 vision. In my "old" age. How amazing is that?

    U

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    1. Ursula: Goodness, that's a dramatic story about your fear of operations and your increasing blindness. I'm glad to hear the operations went well and you now have excellent vision. An optician told me a few weeks back I had early signs of cataracts, but a doctor told me the same about five years ago, so I guess I can avoid the operations for a few more years yet.

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    2. Five years? How bad is it? Are you still allowed to drive? Were you myopic before diagnosis? If so, how many dioptres?

      And no, I am not fearful of operations as you suggest. I was afraid that I might be one of the few who lose their sight completely post op. The op itself wasn't particularly pleasant but nothing to write home about. A nurse lent me her hand to squeeze for the duration (about ten/fifteen minutes). Which was kind of her. Where would we be without touch?

      As I said, having gone through life till my mid fifties with contact lenses and glasses the fact that I can now see unaided is a miracle. Has me full of wonderment, and admiration for the technology, not to say the steady hand of the surgeon, that made it possible.

      In the spirit of your initial post, sometimes later years bring unexpected improvements. But then, as my father remarked, his eldest always goes against the trend. Swimming upstream. Let' s hope I won't have to eat humble pie any time soon.

      U

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    3. Ursula: I've been myopic and astigmatic since I was 18. No problem with anything at the moment. Driving is fine. I can't actually detect anything abnormal.

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  11. Oh, I’m myopic too, with an astigmatism. As I’ve aged my eyes have gotten a little more long sighted, and I no longer need glasses for reading. I hope I don’t get cataracts.
    Sx

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    1. Ms Scarlet: That's lucky that you don't need reading glasses any more. I have varifocals that include a reading correction.

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  12. I will have the song I'm Popeye The Sailor Man in my head now, lol. Popped in from a mutual friends blog. It's always fun to meet new bloggers. There are some things I like about aging and some, not so much. As my Dad, who lived to be 94 used to say, "All things in moderation". I didn't remember that last night when I poured additional wine, so am moving a little slow this morning, lol.

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    1. Sandy: I guess the mutual friend is Bijoux. Yes, I'm very much an "all things in moderation" person. I'm not the obsessive type. Sorry about Popeye. Hopefully he'll steal quietly away.

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  13. Replies
    1. Mary: People complain about the problems of old age, but there are plenty of benefits as well.

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  14. There are many ageing benefits though I must confess the body wearing out in places is unwelcome. All in all I think the positives outweigh the negatives.

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    1. Joared: Fortunately right now my body isn't wearing out very fast, but who knows what the future will bring.

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  15. This was a great add-on to Ms. Beddington's comments about aging. I tend to want to "people" less not because of unfriendliness, but spending time along doing things enjoyable to me is a good thing. I am thankful to have avoided replacing body parts (knees, hips, etc.) unlike others even younger than myself. Cataract surgery became a necessity a couple of years ago, having reading glasses all around the house can be frustrating at times. That said, thankful for being able to see as reading is a favorite pastime.

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    1. Beatrice: I agree. I like spending time on my own doing my favourite things. I didn't realise that cataract surgery means you don't need reading glasses any more. That would be a definite bonus.

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  16. I agree with your list Nick.

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  17. Polly: I think the one I'm most aware of is increased scepticism, probably because of the behaviour of Boris Johnson over the last 2½ years.

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