They passionately want to be adults so they can do what they want, make their own decisions, understand life a bit better, not be constantly watched.
Not me. I can't remember ever yearning to be an adult or chafing under all the parental restrictions. I think I wanted to be a child forever, always looked after and never having any adult worries.
Even though my childhood was far from ideal, with a bad-tempered father and a dreadful boarding school, I must have concluded that all things considered perpetual childhood would be the ideal state.
Maybe it was because so many of the adults I came across seemed to have numerous worries and burdens and didn't seem very contented with their lot in life. My parents themselves had been on the verge of divorce at one point and other adults had to cope with huge mortgages, nasty bosses, serious illnesses and endless bills. I could stay a child and avoid all those frightening problems.
I didn't see adulthood as a land of opportunity, more as a land of increasing encumbrances and obstacles. The drawbacks seemed to greatly outweigh the benefits. How often did I hear an adult saying how much they enjoyed being an adult? Not often enough for my liking.
Of course now I've been an adult for so long I can better appreciate the benefits and make light of the encumbrances. But I guess there's still a small part of me that thinks childhood was really rather idyllic and why couldn't I have been a self-indulgent, irresponsible teenager a little longer?
Becoming independent became a given for me, probably partially because my mother provided me opportunities to exercise being so, by earning money and in other age-appropriate ways beginning when I was in elementary school. I could see that I should be prepared to be on my own because unexpected things happened in the adult lives I saw, often due to no fault of their own. I thought education was a critical factor to help me avoid the kind of jobs I wouldn't want. I didn't want to remain dependent at home as adult health issues that developed, especially after my mother re-wed, resulted in altering the family economic status even more. There was no being a self-indulgent, irresponsible teen in our home, even for my decade older brother before or after our father deserted the family much less after my mother eventually re-wed.
ReplyDeleteJoared: Indeed, many children don't get much chance to wallow in childhood self-indulgence as family circumstances force them to grow up fast. Which might or might not be a good thing.
DeleteMy two male siblings and I were among those children who desperately wanted to become adults and we did at unusually for Indian standards at very young ages. You perhaps know about it from some of my blog posts.
ReplyDeleteNone of us had / have any regrets and as I write this I wouldn't have had it any other way.
Ramana: You three obviously conformed to the usual pattern of wanting to grow up fast. Good to know there were no regrets.
DeleteI agree. I wanted to stay carefree and unencumbered forever. But reality has a way of getting in the way.
ReplyDeleteColette: Yes, unfortunately reality can intrude on cosy expectations and force us to change our behaviour.
DeleteI loved Primary School - if there was any part of my life I'd do again it'd be that part.
ReplyDeleteI think I only hankered after being an independent adult from about 16 onwards.
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Ms Scarlet: Me too. I loved my primary school. A shame it only took boys till they were 13 so I had to move schools.
DeleteI couldn’t wait to leave home! My mother and I clashed over everything. Even my friends realized I couldn’t be myself until I was away from her toxicity. I think that’s why I’ve valued friendships over family my whole life.
ReplyDeleteBijoux: I can imagine you were always a very independent child, often clashing with your parents. I agree entirely that friendships are much more important and inspiring than family.
DeleteI think I am now a self-indulgent, irresponsible adult. More or less. Not sure I ever grew up.
ReplyDeleteLinda: Sounds like you're greatly enjoying being self-indulgent and irresponsible!
DeleteMaybe I'm in my second childhood? I mostly play all day so, yes, I am enjoying it.
DeleteIt's ironic isn't it, when we're young we want to be grown up, then when we are grown up we want to be young again!
ReplyDeletePolly: The grass is always greener on the other side!
DeleteI wanted to be an adult just so I could get away from my parents.
ReplyDeleteMary: Your parents must have been pretty awful!
DeleteChildren are rarely given any amout of agency, whether or not they are able to handle it. It's like being in prison but not in prison.
ReplyDeleteAdulthood has it's drawbacks but all up I'd rather be a grown up
Kylie: I agree, all in all adulthood is preferable. At least there's a large degree of autonomy and you're free of all those parental expectations.
DeleteI never dwelled too much on which as preferable, but overall, I would say I have memorable experiences from both childhood and adulthood. Given a choice, I would take adulthood, a few decades back.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments on my holiday decorations post. That "snowball" on Santa's shoulder is the end of his cap.
Beatrice: I guess that's my take as well - memorable experiences from both childhood and adulthood. Ditto ghastly experiences.
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