My first day at work in a local newspaper office is hard to forget. Firstly because at that time smoking wasn't banned in offices and half the staff smoked like chimneys. The fug was so thick I could scarcely breathe and I seriously thought of resigning. Secondly half the reporters were women and after my single-sex education they seemed like an alien species. It took me a while to get used to them!
My first sexual experience was a bit disastrous because my then girlfriend Trish insisted on sex even though she was menstruating. By the time we finished there was blood all over the place. Luckily I left the rented flat before the landlord discovered the mess. It looked like a major crime scene.
My first trip abroad was with my sister and parents to Paris. I remember accidentally locking myself out of my hotel room and trying to explain to one of the staff what had happened in my very poor French. I was so mortified I just wanted to fall through the floor.
The first house I owned (with Jenny) felt like a huge responsibility after living in flats for so many years. When we first moved in I was very nervous something awful would happen - the roof leaking, the chimney collapsing*, the boiler exploding, you name it. After a few weeks of uneventful occupation, I wondered why I'd been so jittery.
Some first times escape me - like my first taste of alcohol, my first hangover, my first day at school, my first driving lesson. Clearly they weren't very memorable. Or else I've buried the memories because they're far too embarrassing to revisit.
* In my first childhood home, the chimney did in fact collapse, seconds after I'd walked past it. A few seconds later and I would have been under a heap of rubble.
Quite collection of firsts Nick! I would never have guessed.
ReplyDeleteRamana: I've had a a lot of extraordinary experiences! Like when my father had a stroke and the doctor who came to examine him promptly had a heart attack and died.
DeleteLike you, I remember some firsts and not others. One of my earliest memories is kindergarten open house where incoming students met the teacher and watched a class. The current students gave us paper bag puppets as a gift and I kept my frog puppet for years!
ReplyDeleteBijoux: I'm sure if I'd been given a frog puppet I would also have kept it for years! I was very fond of my Sooty and Sweep glove puppets (from the famous Sooty Show on the BBC).
DeleteThe "crime scene"scenario doesn't sound right. A woman would have to bleed like a pig for there to be "blood all over the place". Still, what do I know. What I do wonder though, indeed it was a mess however small, didn't it occur to you to change the bedsheets as a matter of courtesy to the landlord? If you are talking about a hotel room, don't worry, housekeeping has seen it all and worse.
ReplyDeleteOther than that, thanks for making me spontaneously burst out laughing. Only Nick ...
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Ursula: Well, I'm probably exaggerating about the crime scene. It was a very long time ago, after all. But I must have changed the bed sheets, I'm not a total slob! We're very well behaved in hotel rooms, we seldom leave any horrible messes for the housekeeper to clean up.
DeleteOf course you aren't a slob, perish the thought. Not only have I read your blog for years allowing me to form an idea about you, you also once posted a photo of you at my request and you come across, on both counts, as pretty neat, tidy and together (the odd anxiety not withstanding). Not that I am saying that appearances can't deceive.
DeleteAnyway, and picking up the thread of my initial reply to your post, it came to me yesterday evening why your girlfriend would make such an odd request (having sex during her period). I take it that, at the time you are talking about, the pill was if at all available in its infancy. I dimly remember my mother telling me, by way of anecdote, that some women thought that during menstruation you can't conceive. So, there you go, my dear Nick, maybe she just wasn't so much wanton as prudent.
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Ursula: That might have been the reason, though my relationship with Trish was in 1969 and the birth pill started to become widely available in 1960. I wouldn't say she was wanton, just very eager on that particular occasion!
DeleteFirst day at school...infants school. Why have you dumped me with all these idiots who want to play with sand?
ReplyDeleteFollowed by first school dinner....I don't remember what it was but I remember enjoying it and being puzzled by those who were kicking up about eating their greens.
Fly: I can remember having very tasty meals at primary school (actually a prep school). I especially loved treacle pudding! I don't remember anyone fussing about their greens, but this was in the nineteen fifties when us kids ate our greens and were grateful.
DeleteFifties likewise...being brought up to eat what was on the plate the tantrums were puzzling. Mark you, the tantrums did not last long once the fearsome 'dinner ladies' intervened.
DeleteTreacle pudding! Dreams of heaven!
Fly: I didn't have any fearsome dinner ladies. Mine were just fine. I really enjoyed my prep school, but boarding school (from age 13) was dreadful. I couldn't wait for it to end.
DeleteI remember them still, large ladies in aprons stalking the dining hall seeking whom they ight devour...as in the boy who, when upbraided for not eating his sago on the grounds that starving children in India would be glad of it, suggested it could be sent there with his blessing. His feet did not touch the ground.
DeleteFly: I love the little boy's response! I know how he feels. We had sago at my school too and it was revolting.
DeleteMy most memorable childhood experience was my third grade class touring the local bakery and they gave each kid a pencil and an entire loaf of bread. "MY bread; you can't have any" to my bothers then I threw a tea party for girl friends and shared MY bread with them.
ReplyDeleteLinda: Nice one! I don't recall any bakeries in my neighbourhood as a kid. So I missed my free loaf of bread!
DeleteEverything first of a splendid nature seemed to happen to me at once. My first child (a deeply desired girl), my first dog, my first house, my first husband, my first piano, my first freedom.
ReplyDeleteXO
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www: Your first ever piano! I presume you don't have it any more. Jenny has moved her piano from home to home since the nineteen seventies!
Deletemy firsts just seem so boring. maybe there are too many of them and they're filed in my mind as unimportant!
ReplyDeleteI DO remember one. it was my FIRST grown up job. I had been job hunting for weeks. I had no experience. that seemed to be the dominating factor. how does one get experience unless someone HIRES them? I remember that I finally just broke down and cried. it was for secretary to the president of the Savings and Loan.
he was very kind. his name was Jim Agar. (his brother had been married to Shirley Temple.. John Agar.) maybe he appreciated the drama presented in front of him because he hired me. I dried my tears and did a good job for him. he was the president! I really enjoyed that job.
and I enjoyed this post! so many interesting firsts from you and everyone else! xo
Tammy: Perhaps he gave you the job because your crying showed how keen you were to take it on and how disappointed you'd be if you couldn't? Sounds like an interesting job.
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